Have you been shunned by Sedevacantist family? If so, how do you cope?

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I grew up in a family that attended Sedevacantist masses and any traditional mass that my parents could find. I had never actually attended the Ordinary form of the mass until I became an adult. My dad had turned Sedevantist. Growing up I was told that there was no pope and yet when Paul VI died, I remember that even as a child I cried as I watched the news about his death. I realized that I really did believe he was a pope. I never voiced my opinions about whether there was a pope or not. I had good relationships with all my Sedevacantist cousins until about 10+ years ago, when a family member who is a Sedevantist priest, got into an altercation with me. He referred to the Blessed Sacrament as a “Novus Ordo Cookie.” I was scandalized and told him to desist from this sacrilege. We made peace with each over time, but now all these years later I am suddenly being ostracized (shunned) by my entire Sedevacantist family. And it’s a big family! These are people whom I love. I have been unfriended on Face Book and blocked and my messages are not returned. We hardly get any Christmas cards at Christmas now. I can’t figure out what has happened except that someone is trying to cause trouble for me. This is so painful. I guess they feel I am a threat. When I think of how I am being shunned, I can’t help but think of cults. If I am supposed to be learning some sort of lesson from this shunning, the only lesson I am learning is that this ideology is evil.

Growing up I was told that the New Order of the Mass was invalid. I always feared that. But after moving to an area where there is no Latin Mass, my husband and I began to attend Mass in the local parish. At first we would not receive communion. My husband wanted to see if people received on the tongue and there were a few. I wasn’t sure if Jesus was really there. I would cry every Sunday. I didn’t know what to think. Then one day it occurred to me that I should ask Jesus that if He were truly present, that He would make himself known to me. Well, within about two weeks, I suddenly realized there was no longer a question in my mind. I suddenly found myself believing!

Before I met my husband, I nearly lost my Faith. I began searching for a Christian faith that made me feel welcome and loved. Growing up in a Sedevacantist atmosphere, there really wasn’t anyone to date or make friends with. I was related to all of them. And I have always stayed away from harping on the problems of the Church. I didn’t want to marry anyone who was so critical. I met my husband when I moved away from home and found a Mass that wasn’t Sedevantist.

Sedevacantism has torn our family apart. I have a sibling who has gone for years at a time without speaking to me. I have a few cousins who are in my same predicament and their parents and siblings have severed ties with them.

I am thankful that God has allowed me to see that there are really holy priests and people in the Ordinary Form of the mass. I feel so much pain at the loss of relationships. Being shunned is evidently a kind of abuse.
 
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Wow – sounds like you are in a painful place.
I just don’t know how much to blame on sedevacantism itself, versus your relatives.
 
Prayers and hugs.

I hope you are part of the community at your local parish. They are your Catholic family.

Keep showing joy and love to your family, offer masses for them.
 
Thank you. We have gotten involved in our local church community. We haven’t yet made any real, lasting friendships. It is a good idea about offering masses. I usually do the Christmas Novena masses when we get them in the mail.
 
I believe Eucharistic Adoration goes back hundreds of years, so your relatives might be interested to know it’s not a “novus ordo cookie.”

On another note, if they were right, if there was no legitimate pope, that would not invalidate holy orders of existing bishops consecrated by someone other than the pope, would it? And even if “Archbishop Bergolio” and two other bishops consecrated them, that consecration and those they ordained would still be valid. As would the bread consecrated by a priest and placed in the monstrance.
 
Yes, it is hard thing to discern. But my Sedevantist cousin who is a priest won’t allow me to be friends with him on Face Book and he has stopped sending us Christmas cards and responding to my emails (which are pleasant).
 
I think I would worry about other vulnerable members of your family. This is not really a Church issue…the way you describe your family, they sound like a cult. Sorry to say.
 
Thanks Brian. I agree what what you have said here.
 
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inky,

Prayers ascending for you, your family, and your intentions
 
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Prayers for you during this heartbreaking phase! I would continue seeing how you can get socially involved at your (or nearby) parishes so you develop some lasting friendships. Friendships can take time but really do bolster the spirit! Prayers.
 
Thank you for your encouragement. It is a good idea to develop other relationships. I guess as the holidays come upon us, the idea of getting together is making me anxious.
 
You do not have to attend events where you will be unwanted. Go to midnight mass at your parish, on Christmas Day volunteer at a soup kitchen, visit the nursing home or a hospital (I have spent many holidays in ICU with my husband, hospitals are lonely places on holidays!) Make your own traditions!!!
 
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