F
film_reilly
Guest
Beauty is More Than a Building: My Conversion
___________I’m 16. My parents force me to be confirmed into the Catholic Church. I see this institution as veiled evil, I sit there and listen to the priest talk about Jesus and everlasting life. I don’t feel joy, I don’t feel anything, all I hear is a dry hum from a dark and sinister gloom.
___________ I don’t have a passion for anything. I don’t care about the world, I wish for something more, something that will take me away from the monotony of existence. I don’t see color, I see in black, gray, and brown. It’s as though an artist took a painting of a country side filled with flowers and blended them together. No one helps me escape from these foul walls, so I continue like this, as I long for the artist to repaint the beautiful picture that once filled my vision.
___________I search everywhere for this image; I become interested in UFO’s, witchcraft, and the paranormal. These things don’t lead me closer to the truth, they lead me away from it, only confusing life’s purpose for me.
___________ Most people would assume that a loved ones death would lead you away from God, but I only grow closer to Him. My grandmother never really had any kind of religion, but I felt there had to be something other than just this life. When she died I felt my own mortality beckoning me to find the truth about life and death. While still mourning her death I attend church to learn about this faith that has thrived for 2,000 years.
___________ I am now 20 years old. I sit in church and listen to the priest speak. Instead of the dry hum, I hear a beautiful melody that fills my heart with joy. I can see that the church has mostly goodness, but evil does slip in from time to time. I can now see the reason my parents wanted me to become Catholic, not because they hated me, but because they wanted me to have the same experience they have with their faith.
___________ It wasn’t until I took a step back from my own selfish thoughts and desires that I could actually see that the painting was being covered by fog. Away from my feelings in this world I could see a beautiful picture. A picture exploding with color, life, and laughter, a portrait so overwhelming that one glimpse pulls at my spirit.
___________ This picture is not some fantasy, some otherworldly thought. This image happens every day, in every part of the world. You don’t have to be rich or poor, educated or illiterate to see this. A “simple” stone may actually be composed of startling beauty. Pieces of gold, and silver, even rubies, and diamonds could possibly be hidden within that brown lump. This is how the church is viewed from the outside. Once inside I feel a perfection and satisfaction that money, sex, or material possessions can’t even begin to conjure.
___________ When I learn more about my faith the dark clouds become a gentle spring rain, and any gloominess in my soul disappears. I feel alive. The artist who I thought destroyed the beautiful picture really never did. It was me, in my blindness, that didn’t want to believe that something wonderful existed just outside my soul.
___________When I look at the church that I now love and respect I see a beauty that cannot be recreated by human hands. My faith is my foundation for the rest of my life. It guides me along the right path. There is no other place like it on earth, nothing else fills the void that once existed in my life.
-Chris Reilly
Tell me what you think…
___________I’m 16. My parents force me to be confirmed into the Catholic Church. I see this institution as veiled evil, I sit there and listen to the priest talk about Jesus and everlasting life. I don’t feel joy, I don’t feel anything, all I hear is a dry hum from a dark and sinister gloom.
___________ I don’t have a passion for anything. I don’t care about the world, I wish for something more, something that will take me away from the monotony of existence. I don’t see color, I see in black, gray, and brown. It’s as though an artist took a painting of a country side filled with flowers and blended them together. No one helps me escape from these foul walls, so I continue like this, as I long for the artist to repaint the beautiful picture that once filled my vision.
___________I search everywhere for this image; I become interested in UFO’s, witchcraft, and the paranormal. These things don’t lead me closer to the truth, they lead me away from it, only confusing life’s purpose for me.
___________ Most people would assume that a loved ones death would lead you away from God, but I only grow closer to Him. My grandmother never really had any kind of religion, but I felt there had to be something other than just this life. When she died I felt my own mortality beckoning me to find the truth about life and death. While still mourning her death I attend church to learn about this faith that has thrived for 2,000 years.
___________ I am now 20 years old. I sit in church and listen to the priest speak. Instead of the dry hum, I hear a beautiful melody that fills my heart with joy. I can see that the church has mostly goodness, but evil does slip in from time to time. I can now see the reason my parents wanted me to become Catholic, not because they hated me, but because they wanted me to have the same experience they have with their faith.
___________ It wasn’t until I took a step back from my own selfish thoughts and desires that I could actually see that the painting was being covered by fog. Away from my feelings in this world I could see a beautiful picture. A picture exploding with color, life, and laughter, a portrait so overwhelming that one glimpse pulls at my spirit.
___________ This picture is not some fantasy, some otherworldly thought. This image happens every day, in every part of the world. You don’t have to be rich or poor, educated or illiterate to see this. A “simple” stone may actually be composed of startling beauty. Pieces of gold, and silver, even rubies, and diamonds could possibly be hidden within that brown lump. This is how the church is viewed from the outside. Once inside I feel a perfection and satisfaction that money, sex, or material possessions can’t even begin to conjure.
___________ When I learn more about my faith the dark clouds become a gentle spring rain, and any gloominess in my soul disappears. I feel alive. The artist who I thought destroyed the beautiful picture really never did. It was me, in my blindness, that didn’t want to believe that something wonderful existed just outside my soul.
___________When I look at the church that I now love and respect I see a beauty that cannot be recreated by human hands. My faith is my foundation for the rest of my life. It guides me along the right path. There is no other place like it on earth, nothing else fills the void that once existed in my life.
-Chris Reilly
Tell me what you think…
