Having a Big Family

[chris138]

I love large families. My father is 1 of 16(13 survivied). I only have one brother. I have 3 children and two foster children(many have come and gone). I always wanted to have a ton of kids, but was only able to have one and adopted 2.

I am a homeschool mom so I have spent many years(14) around large families and they are wonderful. Every child does not have their own room, computer, car at 16 etc. but they are well behaved, responsible, considerate, appreciative etc. They don’t feel entitled to endless material things that end up on the floor or left all over the house.

Yes, they cost more money to feed, clothe, and shelter. But they can get educated for free by either public school or homeschool(small cost–but less cost for clothing and all the other expenses of school). Financial aid, work programs, can help pay for college. Community colleges and state colleges cost far less than private and you can also get scholarships for sports and good grades.

I am a SAHM and my husband works in a factory. If we can do it anyone can. We have been very careful when purchasing big ticket items like our homes, van(it is a 2000 and knock on wood still running well).

Find some large families to hang out with…

 

[MidnightSun12]

I’m an only child with no cousins and I want to have a big family (darn the expenses).

The way I see it, 7 or 8 children who grow up to be good catholic sons and daughters make a much better retirement fund then a pension plan that sits in a dying stock market that depends on the economic foresight of our current crop of politicians!

Now I just have to meet a good catholic lady who sees things the same way!

 

[FatherOfTwelve]

I think big families are only appropriate if you make a lot of money. When we was first married, almost 20 years ago, I drank the Kool-Aid about how it’s great to have a big family and that the Lord would provide and all that. After five kids, we are still struggling financially and I will probably never be able to send the kids to college, much less retire. God blessed us with children, but He also blessed me with common sense that says you need to have the means to provide for your kids. I also know many, many Catholic families who struggle financially because of their decision to have a big family. I say forget what the Church says about big families–unless the Church wants to start subsidizing your living expenses.

8 kids.

Financially: From a father’s perspective, those kids are a heck of an incentive to work hard, be responsible, and be professionally successful. Also, besides Catholic Schools/college, kids are not that expensive. No question, the education is expensive, so you have to work with what you got. Maybe home schooling, looking hard at inexpensive catholic schools. For college, there are lots of scholarship options these days if kids have good grades, and you have to make you kids work during the summers in high school.

Comments/suggestions from others: ignore them. Seriously, completely ignore them. Do NOT get caught up in these conversations about how mean, cruel people are towards large families (or threads on this forum). Likewise, ignore those comments from others who want to tell you how great you are and how great your family looks in church. All families have their problems.

I can 100% relate to tafan.
With # 13 on the way, I’m constantly motivated to provide for my kids. I’ll be honest, I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. But somehow, God gives me what I NEED to get by. We are not “Well off”, our house is 45+ years old and I do not own a “new vehicle” except my 100 mpg scooter which is 1 year old. I needed that to save on gas (my pick-up 15mpg)! I degress,
Anyway I will trust the Lord that my kids take care of me (change MY diapers) when I’m old. My 401k…ehh:shrug: Obama will probably annex all those funds to pay for social security

Having a big family is NEVER dull!

 

[CroCatholic]

This is something my husband are I are currently “discussing” We’ve been married 6 1/2 years and have 4 kids (5 and under). He feels that he can’t handle the mental stress of another child. I totally understand where he’s coming from, he’s the soul provider for our family, we’re currently living with his parents (we’re in the process of building a new home) and he is owner/operator of a fair sized company (he does have a business partner). He’s under ALOT of stress at the moment. We’ve been praying for the answer to our question (more kids vs. stopping). Before Mass this past Sunday, our oldest (girl) is playing with the baby (also a girl) and announces (without blinking) that she’s going to pray to God for another baby sister . Before our yougest came about, she was the odd (wo)man out. When I was pregnant, she was very adamant that she wanted a sister… So adamant that we were afraid how she would react it the next one was a boy. One day she states (for the 4,986,475th time) that she wants a sister, then bolts into her room (where she has a statue of the BVM and Jesus) and returns a few moments later. She prayed for a sister! At this point we knew it was game over lol!!! She’s praying for a new sibling, so…it’s only a matter of time.

In regards to family and friends not being supportive; our entire family has told us it’s time to stop. My SIL seems to have the most to say about it. She even suggested it was time to cut up the “baby’s first Christmas” stocking since there was never going to be another baby’s first Christmas around here We are concerned about the finances, we would like to send all the kids to Catholic school, we would need a full sized, ginormous, hutterite sized van and enough food to feed a small army… It would mean less luxuries for us but what the heck, I love my kids more than I love TV and shopping anyway!

 

[kaneti]

I’m the 2nd of 10, we had a lot of fun growing up and I really wouldn’t trade any one of my sisters or brothers (well maybe the brothers,just kidding) for a 1,000,000,000,000. It is true that the best present you can give your child is a little sister (and you can’t return the brothers,kidding again).
I think the best way to deal with rude people who comment on your family size is to be as charitable as possible. It is the strangest thing when old aunt Biddy comes up and says “what? another one?!!!” but it is best to just say, “yes, we just love all our kids” as opposed to “you know if my kids were ANYTHING like yours I could understand NEVER having another but ours are perfect so we want as many as we can.”

Thanks sherimarie! I’m a young father with my 3rd on the way, and have been wondering as well if a large family is God’s plan for my wife and I. People always ask if we’re “done” having children, and when I tell them I don’t have a limit, they look at me like I’m crazy. Society today is so anti-family, and it seems like the biggest priority for parents today is ensuring they can afford to send their children to college, instead of ensuring that their kids are properly Catecized. At the rate we’re going, being 28 with 3 already, I’m sure several more are possible before our fertility ends, and it’s comforting to see other members who have several kids or are one of several. Just have to leave it up to the Lord and be prepared to live his will for you.

 

[kaneti]

I think big families are only appropriate if you make a lot of money. When we was first married, almost 20 years ago, I drank the Kool-Aid about how it’s great to have a big family and that the Lord would provide and all that. After five kids, we are still struggling financially and I will probably never be able to send the kids to college, much less retire. God blessed us with children, but He also blessed me with common sense that says you need to have the means to provide for your kids. I also know many, many Catholic families who struggle financially because of their decision to have a big family. I say forget what the Church says about big families–unless the Church wants to start subsidizing your living expenses.

Airplane Nut, I must politely disagree with you on this one. The most important thing in life as parents is for us to catecize our children and help get them into heaven. College and retirement, while important, come in a distant second to this. Better to be poor on earth and attain salvation than to be comfortable and come up short. Plus, who knows if God’s calling your children to college. You could have 5 kids and 2 join the military and one enters a vocation. If God takes care of the smallest of animals, he will provide for you. Your financial struggle may be a blessing if it helps you to keep your eyes on the prize!

 

[cominghomeCC]

Ultimately families come in all shapes and sizes.

My mom is one of 17, my dad one of 8. I am one of 3 surviving(now 2…sigh). I have 4 surviving(of 7). I would love to have more. However dh has decided no after a scary delivery with the last one. In a panic he ‘fixed’ the issue permanently :bighanky: even against my wishes, so 4 is where we’re at.

there are costs, yes. I can’t speak for a family of 8 or 10, but for a family of 6, it is a challenge. However, there are ways around it. My kids don’t expect us to pay for college. We live in the city with several post secondary schools here. My eldest graduates this year:thumbsup: he is working full time as an apprentice electrician(to the tune of $23/hour!) until the 28th, and then part time as he finishes his grade 12. The company is taking him full time again in the summer and he will attend trade school in the fall for 8 weeks, and be a second year apprentice, and get another pay raise. He does have a car, which he purchased and pays insurance on. He does have a cell phone, which he pays for. He does have gadgets and gizmos, that he has purchased, when he gets a new one, he gives the old to one of his siblings.

The next child starts high school next year, and then that summer, she will enter an apprenticeship program as well. This will be her ticket to university. It will pay her way through, she just won’t go at 18, possibly at 20 or 21, with a journeyman ticket as electrician, instrumentation, something that will get her where she wants to go.

There are ways to get to post secondary without a huge debt load.

We do get the comments about ‘all those kids’, even more so when I am with my home day care children…lol… brings us up to 8 if we are all together. Most of the time I ignore it, but every now and then it does get to me. But that is irrelevant… I love them all!