Having high anxiety with my own mortality

[Buckeye1010]

Hi all… hoping some of you can calm me down. I have been having excruciating anxiety over death lately…I am not sick or anything and am 34 years old…but a few people I have known have passed recently and I am freaking out. I am so scared that there is just nothing after we go. I have some friends who are nonbelievers and they subscribe to folks like Richard Dawkins who tries to explain away life and that there is nothing after death. My friends will say “nothing before birth and nothing after death” which makes me sick to think about because it isn’t the same because I didn’t exist before life…so the nothingness was broken but after death nothingness would be eternal and I can’t comprehend that and I makes me feel life is pointless if that is the case. I also see so many people turning away from religion in highly religious countries like in Europe and the US. Of course we don’t know what is on the other side till we get there but I don’t know how to get this monkey off my back. I feel like it is in the back of my head day in and day out and has been going in for the last 3 weeks.

 

[Lou2U]

Take some deep breaths.

It’s completely normal to be scared or anxious about ‘after death’, especially when people you know have died recently. I think though, that your anxiety has reached a point where it would be best to speak with your doctor, and a therapist. Anxiety is particularity difficult because it leads people to catastrophise, and build things up and up in their heads. I see some of that in your post.

Please talk to someone offline who can help you. I hope you are feeling better soon.

 

[7_Sorrows]

I lost both of my parents at the age of 30 (38 years ago) so I had to face my own mortality fairly young.
I had a young son, so at the age of 32 I made my first
will. I bought a cemetery plot shortly after. My parents were in their 60’s when they passed and other than a will, had made no preparations. It is good to be prepared, but live like there will be a tomorrow and plan for a future. None of us know when our last day
will come, but don’t sit around and dwell on it.

 

[Irishmom2]

Honestly, I think you need some Catholic friends. Your non-religious friends may be very nice people, but you are unable to turn to them for support when you need it as you have described.

I am so sorry for your recent losses. Please remember what your faith teaches and if needed, make an appointment to speak with your priest. Yes, there is more to life than right now. How blessed are we to believe that! Your non-religious friends cannot feel the comfort of knowing we may see our loved ones again. They do not live their lives with any thoughts of doing God’s will.

May you find peace and comfort in God. May his presence fill every moment of your day and bring you a sense of belonging and happiness.

 

[Buckeye1010]

Thank you. Yes I actually have been trying to surround myself with people that I can talk openly about religion with. They are not all Catholic but they are Christians nonetheless and are supportive of my religious views and we all have the same beliefs in life after death. As for my friends that don’t believe…many of them claim agnosticism in the sense that they just don’t know and whatever happens happens. I feel like that is an easy stance for some when life is going well. Most of those friends have settled as agnostics because they married nonbelievers. To me it is sad and I also worry about the decreases in young millennial generation church attendance and beliefs. I always wonder if they have it right and I have it wrong. My father has a very close friend who is a priest and he has suggested that I go talk with him as well. He is an older priest in his late 70s but very spiritual, seems to have very strong faith and is not judgmental and very open to looking into questions with people and guiding them back towards a good spiritual well being.

 

[Irishmom2]

I always wonder if they have it right and I have it wrong.

I can’t believe that that thought would even cross your mind. They have nothing. You have faith. Please do talk to the priest. I really think he will be able to help you.

But one more thing. Do not compare yourself to others if you are not yet married, or not settled into the things you want in life. Comparing does no good when you are comparing apples and oranges.

 

[Buckeye1010]

Thank you. I am married and my wife is also Catholic. She doesn’t even understand why I have questions or worry about it. She just has faith that there is a life after and no questions asked. Funny thing is her family went to church and that’s about it…I am the one who was sent to Catholic schools all my life, my dad is very into the Catholic Church, I went on various things like Teens Encounter Christ in high school and made a Cursillo maybe 8 years back. Though I am naturally a curious and analytical person to the point where questions and uncertainty drive me crazy lol. Even through all my doubts I still pray because I have always prayed and it always feels like God is listening for some reason…so deep in my heart I feel it…it is just my mind gets the best of me from time to time.

 

[adamhovey1988]

My dad died when I was nine, from a disease that seems to be genetic on that side of the family. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis , also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease or motor neurone disease. I have had to think about death most of my life, because my father has been gone most of my life. I’m actually less concerned about dying, and more concerned about my afterlife.