Hear Mass or not?

[Michael16]

I’m a divorced father of two 7 year old boys and my ex wife is a Lutheran. They go to church at their mother’s Lutheran church on Sundays. My question is: Should I take them to Mass on Sundays anyway; even though they already attended a Lutheran Sunday service?

 

[JulianN]

Are they Cathlolic or Lutheran? Was religious upbringing specified in your custody agreement?

 

[Michael16]

They’re not even Baptized. No religious arrangements in the custody agreement. She has full custody

 

[JulianN]

Full legal or physical or both?

 

[Michael16]

This Mom knows I’ll be teaching my boys the Catholic faith.

 

[JulianN]

And she’s in agreement? Then no problem. However, you run the risk of the kids developing a real bias against the Church if you force them into a second service on Sunday at their age. Particularly since the Lutheran service and Mass are very similar, down to the readings of the day.

Can you and your ex work out a compromise?
Also, you both seem committed to your churches—why are the children not baptized?

 

[Spyridon]

Particularly since the Lutheran service and Mass are very similar, down to the readings of the day.

That depends on which type of Lutheran we’re speaking of.

Lutheranism, like Protestantism in general, is far from monolithic - it exists on a sort of dynamic, sliding scale.

On the far right you could have high Church Lutherans who look VERY Catholic - but at the opposite end you can have Lutherans who look more like Southern Baptists or Pentecostals or Evangelicals - and everything in between.

There’s at least 5 different “strains” of Lutheranism in America alone, and in those 5 “strains” hundreds of individual Churches.

These are both Lutheran services:

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

OP - my advice is let the kids just go to the Lutheran Mass most of the time for the next few years, but bring them to Catholic Mass occasionally.

Get them baptized ASAP however. Even if the Lutheran Church does it - just have them baptized.

 

[steve-b]

JulianN:

Particularly since the Lutheran service and Mass are very similar, down to the readings of the day.

That depends on which type of Lutheran we’re speaking of.

Lutheranism, like Protestantism in general, is far from monolithic - it exists on a sort of dynamic, sliding scale.
On the far right you could have high Church Lutherans who look VERY Catholic - but at the opposite end you can have Lutherans who look more like Southern Baptists or Pentecostals or Evangelicals - and everything in between.

There’s at least 5 different “strains” of Lutheranism in America alone, and in those 5 "strains" hundreds of individual Churches.

These are both Lutheran services:

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

OP - my advice is let the kids just go to the Lutheran Mass most of the time for the next few years, but bring them to Catholic Mass occasionally.

Re: the issue of “appearance” and or how things “look”

Just to give this for-instance as an example,

I can go into the most beautiful Catholic Cathedral, dress exactly like a valid Catholic priest, say the same exact words a valid Catholic priest says at the altar, and guess what. While everything LOOKS fine, appearance is spot on, in reality, Nothing happens to the elements I just prayed over. Bread and wine are still bread and wine. No change whatsoever in those elements happened… because “LOOKS” don’t make things happen. I’m not a validly ordained priest therefore, while Everything, LOOKS / Appearances, appear valid to the uninformed eye and mindset, in reality, nothing happened sacramentally in what I did. Lutherans don’t have valid holy orders

I only bring this up because I’ve talked to many Catholics who unfortunately follow only appearances as their deciding factor.

Spyridon:

Get them baptized ASAP however. Even if the Lutheran Church does it - just have them baptized.

Agreed

 

[Michael16]

The reason why my sons aren’t Baptized is that their mother is one of those who believe that kids should choose for themselves what religion to follow when they grow up. Even though she teaches them Protestantism. By the way; their Lutheran church is ELCA. Definitely low church Lutherans.

 

[Spyridon]

Baptized is that their mother is one of those who believe that kids should choose for themselves what religion to follow when they grow up

Sigh.

That attitude REALLY bothers me. That belief isn’t even rooted in traditional Protestantism - that’s a belief firmly rooted in secularism and atheism. It’s really incompatible even with belief in Lutheran doctrines about baptism… Even more so Catholic.

It betrays a total disbelief in supernatural sanctifying Grace as well as the salvific aspect of Baptism.

I’m sorry you have to deal with such errant beliefs in the mother of your children…

Honestly, if my wife held beliefs like that I’d tell her flat out “you’re a heretic, you should be ashamed to call yourself a Christian. Don’t even speak of such vile things in my presence.” I know that’s incredibly harsh and could be taken as uncharitable - but the reason why I would say it like that would be to try and “jolt” or “shock” her and let her know how unacceptable and nauseating I find such errant beliefs to be, in the hope that maybe she would rethink why she believes such things.

I always speak very bluntly to my wife and she appreciates it. I brought her from lukewarm Pentecostalism to a vibrant Catholic faith - and one of the main ways I did it was by impressing upon her the heretical and untrue nature of many of the errant beliefs she held. I would crush them on the rock of the Church, then lay a new Catholic foundation in her soul.

And make no mistake - depriving children and babies of all the spiritual benefits of baptism (not to mention definite salvation if, God forbid, they die in childhood) in some misplaced belief about “freedom” is a vile belief. It is a demonic thing to deprive a soul of the Holy Mysteries.

 

[Greenfields]

Hey Michael
Perhaps two lots of church is a lot for kids on a Sunday,
are you able to take them on a Staurday to evening mass ? And even just sometimes ?
God bless.

 

[JulianN]

I’d check first to see what “full custody” means where he is.

 

[Reuben_J]

I commend you for being a concerned father to your boys’ spirituality. As you are not in custody of your children, you probably need to have an agreement from your ex-wife in what you want to do with your children.

If you get over that huddle and it’s okayed by your wife, it would be great to bring them to Catholic mass. Maybe not every week, you have to be practical about it. You do not want the boys to have an overdose of masses. But it’s important they go to Catholic mass, probably with you explaining things a bit, so that they know their ‘root’ and the religion of their father.

P/S what a mixed marriage could have - this problem.

God bless.

 

[ratio1]

I always speak very bluntly to my wife and she appreciates it. I brought her from lukewarm Pentecostalism to a vibrant Catholic faith - and one of the main ways I did it was by impressing upon her the heretical and untrue nature of many of the errant beliefs she held. I would crush them on the rock of the Church, then lay a new Catholic foundation in her soul.

WOW