S
Servant_of_God
Guest
Dear friends,
As I’ve said, I’m 18 and an Orthodox Christian. For many reasons, I’ve stopped attending the Orthodox Church. That Church just isn’t home anymore. Since I was a little child, I’ve loved the Catholic Church. I wanted to convert all my life, but my mother wouldn’t allow it. When I wanted to become Orthodox, she was fine with it, because in her mind it wasn’t Catholicism.
I was so deeply involved in my Church until a few months ago. I was having major issues with my sexuality. This caused me to feel like a hypocrite in the Church. No one asked me to leave or told me I was bad, but I couldn’t make those people think that I was a pious Orthodox when I’m really bisexual, and trying to discover what that means.
These last few months that I’ve not been to the OC, I’ve been through an emotional roller coaster about all of this.
One thing brought me back:
Since I first started reading about Catholicism, and falling in love with it when I secretly attended mass, I’ve had a dream. It’s the same over and over.
In this dream: I am tied up in a basement. I’m cold and afraid. There are horrible men there, who plan to preform some cultism ritual and hurt me. I somehow break free and climb out the window. The men chase me all around town, and I am so afraid and alone. Then I come upon a grand cathedral. I enter the cathedral, and there is a woman dressed in the traditional nun’s habit. I run to her, and she embraces me. She puts up her hand as she embraces me, as if to say “stop”, and the horrible men cannot enter the Church.
Who this woman is, I don’t know. I think it may be our Blessed Mother.
I had this dream, and I feel so much better. I also attended my Catholic grandmother’s funeral, and it made me feel so peaceful, to be at mass again. I miss it so.
Well, I’m trying to discern if God wants me to re-connect with my Orthodox Church, or begin converting to Catholicism. By some miracle, my mother is now fine with me joining the Church, as long as I don’t shove it in her face.
How can I know what God wants me to do?
I’ve been saying the rosary and asking the Blessed Mother to help me. Please remember me in your prayers!
As I’ve said, I’m 18 and an Orthodox Christian. For many reasons, I’ve stopped attending the Orthodox Church. That Church just isn’t home anymore. Since I was a little child, I’ve loved the Catholic Church. I wanted to convert all my life, but my mother wouldn’t allow it. When I wanted to become Orthodox, she was fine with it, because in her mind it wasn’t Catholicism.
I was so deeply involved in my Church until a few months ago. I was having major issues with my sexuality. This caused me to feel like a hypocrite in the Church. No one asked me to leave or told me I was bad, but I couldn’t make those people think that I was a pious Orthodox when I’m really bisexual, and trying to discover what that means.
These last few months that I’ve not been to the OC, I’ve been through an emotional roller coaster about all of this.
One thing brought me back:
Since I first started reading about Catholicism, and falling in love with it when I secretly attended mass, I’ve had a dream. It’s the same over and over.
In this dream: I am tied up in a basement. I’m cold and afraid. There are horrible men there, who plan to preform some cultism ritual and hurt me. I somehow break free and climb out the window. The men chase me all around town, and I am so afraid and alone. Then I come upon a grand cathedral. I enter the cathedral, and there is a woman dressed in the traditional nun’s habit. I run to her, and she embraces me. She puts up her hand as she embraces me, as if to say “stop”, and the horrible men cannot enter the Church.
Who this woman is, I don’t know. I think it may be our Blessed Mother.
I had this dream, and I feel so much better. I also attended my Catholic grandmother’s funeral, and it made me feel so peaceful, to be at mass again. I miss it so.
Well, I’m trying to discern if God wants me to re-connect with my Orthodox Church, or begin converting to Catholicism. By some miracle, my mother is now fine with me joining the Church, as long as I don’t shove it in her face.
How can I know what God wants me to do?
I’ve been saying the rosary and asking the Blessed Mother to help me. Please remember me in your prayers!