Hello, Thank you and small question about cohabitation

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Brendea

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I am a new member to this page and also a new member of the Catholic church.
Baptism 1st of September first reconciliation October and first communion was this last Sunday.
Whilst this is my first post on this forum and I’ve only just created an account I have been reading all the posts for the last month and I’ve learned so much about the person I want to be.
I’m 29 I am in a cohibatating relationship I have 3 children to 3 different fathers my oldest was conceived through rape and since that incident when I was young I sort of got lost and am only finding my way now.
I no I’m strong enough to not let the past ruin my future and as long as God continues to fill my heart and soul everything will be ok.
My partner went to reconciliation for the first time in a number of years since having his marriage annulled yesterday he is also the father to my middle child, ( not the father to my youngest child) and I geuss this gets me wondering whilst mine and my partners relationship is now chaste where is wasn’t 11 years ago and we’ve both learned from our pasts and are trying to do what’s right has this completly ruined everything for us in the future regarding marriage. I am worried beacuse we’ve played house and raised a family and live together that when we do manage to get married if we’ve ruined what could’ve been a great marriage by living together in sin for the last 4 years.
 
What is keeping you from marrying though?
Perhaps you should make an appointment with your priest and discuss your situation with him.
All things considered, it is possible that you could marry and have a successful, happy marriage despite what happened in the past.
 
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My partner has already been married in the Catholic church once he’s only recently in the last month had his marriage annulled.
We are still paying off the debt from his first marriage and due to this cannot afford to get married ourselves. My parents have also been together for over 32 years and are not married and do not see the point in marriage and whilst his family are catholic his mother also doesn’t see the point in us getting married as we’ve been together this long we have a wonderful mixed family and he’s already been married once and it didn’t work out. Our family seem to be against the idea of marriage whilst I know he’s trying to do what he can so that we can get married and make our relationship right with God
 
I am not sure why you say you cant afford to get married. The stipend involved for the church is minimal. Having a reception afterward is not a necessity.

No disrespect, but it doesn’t matter what his mom thinks. It matters what the Church teaches to you or it doesn’t. If your boyfriend wants to make things right with God, that is what matters, not what your or his family think. Get married now, have a party later when you can afford it.
 
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I read somewhere that all we require other than marriage preparation courses is a priest and 2 witnesses. I also read that if the readings are appropriate for Sunday mass we can have it during Sunday mass ( however this is something that we are unsure of) we did think of getting married and then having a pot luck morning tea. But unfortunately we’ve had to put off this discussion till after advent as we share a priest with 3 other parishes and unfortunately he is leaving us in December and we are yet to find out who our new priest will be. Until then
A chaste relationship is the best we can do as we cannot afford to live apart
 
Make an appointment and speak to your priest. I am sure he will work with you to get you married as soon as he is able to, considering everything involved.
 
In your first post in this thread you asked whether you may have ruined things for your future marriage. You have not! You have much reason for hope for the future. You both are building your faith, doing your best to live according to your faith, and supporting each other’s faith. This is an excellent foundation for marriage.

I will pray for you both, first in thanksgiving for God’s grace working in your lives, and also asking God to lead you always toward greater faith, hope, and love. God bless you, your partner, your relationship, and your children.
 
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If you and your partner are leading each other towards a valid marriage in the Church, that’s a good sign your relationship is on the right track. God would be happy with such a marriage.

Many people make past mistakes, commit sins or don’t do everything perfectly at first. They learn from their mistakes and sins and end up becoming even closer to God. Sounds like that’s what you and your partner are doing, so just keep on heading in the right direction towards God.
 
If you are not living together now, the problem has been rectified. The problem with cohabitation is that people use it as a sort of “trial” marriage, but, that’s not what marriage is. Marriage is giving yourself entirely as a sacrifice for another person. I remember my former pastor (he has since retired) even referring to it as such. Here’s a problem with cohabitation that no one seems to understand: If you are sleeping with someone you aren’t married to, whilst living with them, you’re going to continue to do so after you get married (I don’t mean you specifically). God bless you, and thank you for discussing this.
 
Congratulations on your celebrations of the Sacraments of Initiation. It sounds like the Holy Spirit is having an impact on you. :pray:t2: May God continue to guide you and strengthen you. :pray:t2:
 
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