Help! A guy asked me out and I do not know what to do

[Lamentation]

Thanks for the advice, but I missed my chance. I went to do a driving test today and mom assured me that it is super easy and, if I just drive like I drive with her, I would pass. Well, I failed doing just that, the tester telling me that I drove as if I had just got my permit yesterday even though I practiced. My mom was livid and called me an idiot several times, which is not the first time that happened. She also calls me an idiot for poor social skills.

I was prepared to talk to him today, but that bit of confidence I had was bashed and I showed up to the rummage sale looking and feeling like **** from crying. By the time I got in a better state, he had left for the day. Can I try tomorrow? Is a two-day invitation too stale? I want to give this a try, but I am worries I lost it.

Also, I do not think I can let him pay for the date. I was raised to be as generous as I can within reason but never accept generosity from others. My mom always wants to fund every outing or potential outing. And whenever I accepted a stay for dinner at a friend’s house or ate lunch with the youth group after a project, my mom becomes angry that I am using up someone else’s resources even after helping. Either I pay for myself or the whole group and I am scared to do otherwise.

First, the guy always pays for the date. :coffeeread:

Secondly, yes of course you can ask him tomorrow. He’d probably be happy just to have an answer in the affirmative, tbh.

 

[Joe_5859]

I guess I’m not the only one that’s done a lot of socially awkward things. So do you just get better social manners with experience?

That’s how it worked for me. What really helped me get that experience was becoming a part of a social group with no real membership requirements beyond showing up. In high school, it was the drama club. In college, it was the Catholic Newman center. That allowed me to test the waters and go from being a fly on the wall in the beginning to eventually being more comfortable talking with other people.

I’ve always felt like I benefitted from the mere exposure effect. The more I show up at places and the more people see me, the more they begin to like me, even without talking to me that much.