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Guest
I’ll try to make this short. We have a daughter who will be 13 in Sept. She is an excellent student, but struggles socially. She has a prickly, somewhat uptight personality and needs to be in control. This doesn’t sit well with other kids. Even when she tries very hard to be sociable, she has an unfortunate knack for saying and doing the wrong thing. She’s getting better, but we’ve worked really hard with her to develop social skills. A lot of the girls at her school are more advanced socially than she is, and their parents allow them to go places and do things we don’t allow her to do (not that we don’t trust her, it’s just that we feel these things are not appropriate for kids her age – we’re the geeky parents, I guess.)
Anyway, all this background to explain why she has hardly any school friends. She is horse crazy and we got her into lessons last year at this great stable. She has made friends with other girls there and it’s been a positive experience. After several bad experienceswith other horses, she’s really bonded to this horse, Annie. Since riding Annie her confidence has grown and that’s been positivive in many ways. The stable has a leasing option that’s very affordable – we lease a lesson horse and our daughter can ride her 3-4 days a week. It’s been great.
The owner of the stable called – someone wants to buy Annie. She wasn’t for sale, but they made him an offer and he is in the process of thinning out his herd for the winter anyway, and he eventually wants to go for all geldings and no mares for lesson horses (mares being too tempramental during their cycle).
Here’s my dilemna: my husband and I can afford to buy Annie, she’s not an expensive horse by any means. We can also afford the boarding, shoeing and vets costs. Our problem is that we have a hard time just handing our daughter a horse. We don’t want to spoil her. Her attitude is pretty good – sometimes she gets mouthy and argumentative and disrespectful, but not very often and it’s usually very short lived. She helps around the house when told to, but doesn’t usually volunteer. As I said, she’s an excellent and responsible student and earns some money house and pet sitting for neighbors. She wants to be a vet and gets a long with animals better than people. Her worst attribute is she is bossy and not very nice to her brother and sister.
I don’t know what to do. I am afraid that buying a horse for her would be spoiling her. At her age, she can’t work a job to earn money. I asked the guy who owns the stable if she could work there a certain number of hours a week to earn part of the board if we bought the horse, but he’s not keen on that idea. If her attitude and behavior at home were outstanding, I wouldn’t hesitate to do this. Yet, I think for an almost 13 year old she’s pretty good, certainly better than a lot I hear about.
ANY advice, suggestions or thoughts would be welcome. I know her heart would be broken if Annie is sold to someone else and I thik she probably would leave the stables, and thus her only social network. Help!
Anyway, all this background to explain why she has hardly any school friends. She is horse crazy and we got her into lessons last year at this great stable. She has made friends with other girls there and it’s been a positive experience. After several bad experienceswith other horses, she’s really bonded to this horse, Annie. Since riding Annie her confidence has grown and that’s been positivive in many ways. The stable has a leasing option that’s very affordable – we lease a lesson horse and our daughter can ride her 3-4 days a week. It’s been great.
The owner of the stable called – someone wants to buy Annie. She wasn’t for sale, but they made him an offer and he is in the process of thinning out his herd for the winter anyway, and he eventually wants to go for all geldings and no mares for lesson horses (mares being too tempramental during their cycle).
Here’s my dilemna: my husband and I can afford to buy Annie, she’s not an expensive horse by any means. We can also afford the boarding, shoeing and vets costs. Our problem is that we have a hard time just handing our daughter a horse. We don’t want to spoil her. Her attitude is pretty good – sometimes she gets mouthy and argumentative and disrespectful, but not very often and it’s usually very short lived. She helps around the house when told to, but doesn’t usually volunteer. As I said, she’s an excellent and responsible student and earns some money house and pet sitting for neighbors. She wants to be a vet and gets a long with animals better than people. Her worst attribute is she is bossy and not very nice to her brother and sister.
I don’t know what to do. I am afraid that buying a horse for her would be spoiling her. At her age, she can’t work a job to earn money. I asked the guy who owns the stable if she could work there a certain number of hours a week to earn part of the board if we bought the horse, but he’s not keen on that idea. If her attitude and behavior at home were outstanding, I wouldn’t hesitate to do this. Yet, I think for an almost 13 year old she’s pretty good, certainly better than a lot I hear about.
ANY advice, suggestions or thoughts would be welcome. I know her heart would be broken if Annie is sold to someone else and I thik she probably would leave the stables, and thus her only social network. Help!
), perhaps a chart or list of responsibilities she has to complete every week so she knows exactly what to expect. That is very generous of you to do something you know your daughter would love. Youseem like good parents.
) between you and the stable owner, your daughter doesn’t have to know the horse is truly her’s. You might tell her you are THINKING of purchasing Annie sometime in the next year or so–which is true–and see how this improves her behavior.
