Help / advice needed with 'reversion'

[mrs_miggins]

I became a convert at the Easter Vigil when I was about 18 years old, having been bought up in a ‘vaguely’ Christian household.

Because of no real Catholic fellowship or guidance (I don’t make friends easily) when I moved home I found it hard to find another church I felt comfortable at - my original Priest was wonderful and I think I was spoilt !

Anyway I moved and when I married my Husband it was a civil marriage abroad - this was more due to family arguments (between his and mine) than not wanting a church wedding.

My husband is not a catholic - in fact until I almost died giving birth to our second child he was agnostic. When I recovered from my son, we were given medical advice not to have any more children as I probably wouldn’t survive and so he had a vasectomy.

When I wanted to go back to the church when we moved to our present house (you know, fresh start and all that) I just felt so apart from it. I felt guilty that my marriage wasn’t ‘real’, that my children weren’t ‘recognised’ (even though they were both baptised as Catholics). I tried other churches where I knew this wouldn’t be a problem - I went to a Baptist church which started off ok but then I realised it was all church picnics and hand clapping. So I tried my local C of E - but they didn’t seem to believe in anything really - or in fact changed their minds depending on the politically correct wind! And I missed the real eucharist - for me ‘remembrance’ just wasn’t the same.

I feel I am being called back ‘home’ - I have prayed that God would show me where I am supposed to be and walking to pick my son up from school the other day I felt he was saying to me ‘I showed you before - you were the one who left’. But this time I want to do it properly. What of the above will be a problem and keep me from true ‘membership’ of the Church.

I was never particularly good at confession but am happy to do that of course - not being a ‘cradle catholic’ some of these things were still alien to me and I guess I never gave them enough time for them to become natural to me.

Thanks for reading all this - I wanted to say all the things I think are keeping me from the church and would really appreciate some advice as to how I overcome them to be in full communion again.

 

[CB_Catholic]

I became a convert at the Easter Vigil when I was about 18 years old, having been bought up in a ‘vaguely’ Christian household.

Because of no real Catholic fellowship or guidance (I don’t make friends easily) when I moved home I found it hard to find another church I felt comfortable at - my original Priest was wonderful and I think I was spoilt !

Anyway I moved and when I married my Husband it was a civil marriage abroad - this was more due to family arguments (between his and mine) than not wanting a church wedding.

My husband is not a catholic - in fact until I almost died giving birth to our second child he was agnostic. When I recovered from my son, we were given medical advice not to have any more children as I probably wouldn’t survive and so he had a vasectomy.

When I wanted to go back to the church when we moved to our present house (you know, fresh start and all that) I just felt so apart from it. I felt guilty that my marriage wasn’t ‘real’, that my children weren’t ‘recognised’ (even though they were both baptised as Catholics). I tried other churches where I knew this wouldn’t be a problem - I went to a Baptist church which started off ok but then I realised it was all church picnics and hand clapping. So I tried my local C of E - but they didn’t seem to believe in anything really - or in fact changed their minds depending on the politically correct wind! And I missed the real eucharist - for me ‘remembrance’ just wasn’t the same.

I feel I am being called back ‘home’ - I have prayed that God would show me where I am supposed to be and walking to pick my son up from school the other day I felt he was saying to me ‘I showed you before - you were the one who left’. But this time I want to do it properly. What of the above will be a problem and keep me from true ‘membership’ of the Church.

I was never particularly good at confession but am happy to do that of course - not being a ‘cradle catholic’ some of these things were still alien to me and I guess I never gave them enough time for them to become natural to me.

Thanks for reading all this - I wanted to say all the things I think are keeping me from the church and would really appreciate some advice as to how I overcome them to be in full communion again.

You need to make an appointment and speak with your parish priest. However, it seems that the only thing that would prevent you from coming into full communion with the Church is your civil marriage, and that would probably be fairly easy to take care of. Of course, you would need to go to Confession. But speak to a priest.

BTW, it is not true that your children are not “recognized”. They are not illegitimate. That is a civil matter, and you are civilly married, and they are legitimate under the law. Don’t worry about that at all. Since they have been baptized as Catholics, your priest can make arrangements for them to be catechized and receive whatever Sacraments they are old enough for. Start taking them to Mass and start bringing them up as the Catholics they already are.

God bless you for wanting to return!

 

[Sunflower15]

Welcome!

Just talk to a priest…and if for some reason, you don’t feel comfortable with that one, by all means talk to another!

I have heard some people say that when they tried to talk to a priest, he wasn’t whatever it was they were looking for, [maybe he was busy or worried or who knows!], and for that simple reason!, they don’t come back to the Church! Personally, I can’t understand this!

I would recommend finding an Adoration Chapel somewhere near you, so you have a place to go to when you want to focus on your prayer and meditation. I go daily!

I would also recommend praying the Rosary daily, at least a decade and when you get used to that, increase it to a mystery, and so forth. As you say the prayers, meditate on the respective mystery by reading the appropriate passages in Bible, or the meditations in a guide to the Rosary, or even just asking the Holy Spirit for understanding…and then listening.

Finally, I would recommend praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet daily, EWTN broadcasts it at 3pm daily, or you can go online and look for the prayer [again EWTN has it under Faith ->Devotions].

And, don’t forget to read about the saints so that you can see examples of normal everyday sinners who decided to “walk with God” and their lives were incredibly transformed.
Maybe rent a movie, or get one from your local public library. I have seen good ones on St. Anthony of Padua, on Mother Theresa, on Therese de Liseaux, on Padre Pio, on & on…

It is the Holy Spirit Who will guide you, but the priest will help putting things in order so that your spiritual life can progress smoothly.

I am SO happy for you! I am a VERY happy Catholic!

God Bless,
Maria

 

[mrs_miggins]

Hi - thanks for all your advice - I will go and search out the priest tomorrow - am trying a new church for the first time so fingers crossed and all that !

I do really want to take the kids and have them be a part of it - my daydreams always were my son being an alter boy and my daughter having her first communion (sigh - such pride !) - but she’s 10 so I guess I might have missed that. I mean obviously it would still be her ‘first’ but maybe not with all the ceremony that usually goes with it. I think though I will get myself sorted first and see whether I ‘fit’ with the parish first - we are quite lucky in that there are 4 Catholic churches in my town - don’t know if that makes us particularly pious or just in need of saving

I was really worried that it would all be wrong and I would be a bit ‘past saving’ so thank you for your words of comfort - this is why I didn’t just go to the priest last time and ask - embarassment I think and didn’t want to hear anything that bad.

I have found a few books in the library - on the catechism and basic beliefs - so am having a bit of a revision but will definitely try to find the films you have suggested. Another along those lines, and one of my personal favourites, is Song of Bernadette - which I watched for the first time about a week before going to Lourdes - very moving.

Thanks again for all your advice.

 

[Sunflower15]

…
I do really want to take the kids and have them be a part of it - my daydreams always were my son being an alter boy and my daughter having her first communion (sigh - such pride !) - but she’s 10 so I guess I might have missed that. I mean obviously it would still be her ‘first’ but maybe not with all the ceremony that usually goes with it. …

Actually, her ceremony will be even better! [but don’t tell anyone!] When kids go through RCIA, *, they have all the Sacraments at once in a gorgeous ceremony on the Tridium. It even includes Confirmation, [and Baptism if she hasn’t had it yet]. It is a truly beautiful ceremony! In my parish, all the lights are out as we all enter the church with a lighted candle. Very symbolic!

During the Mass, the priest calls the children up to the front of the Altar [along with 1 or 2 godparents who hold the lighted candle together with their godchild] and anoints each one with oil while calling out their new chosen name.

My 3 sons chose Michael, Gabriel and Raphael.
*

Another along those lines, and one of my personal favourites, is Song of Bernadette - which I watched for the first time about a week before going to Lourdes - very moving.

Have you been to Lourdes? That’s great! I have always wanted to go myself.

 

[Texas_Roofer]

I became a convert at the Easter Vigil, when I was about 18 years old,… communion again.

If you can talk your husband into it you could both go through RCIA again. Otherwise a confession and a convalidation of the marriage are all you need

 

[PJM]

=mrs miggins;5033758]I became a convert at the Easter Vigil when I was about 18 years old, having been bought up in a ‘vaguely’ Christian household.

Because of no real Catholic fellowship or guidance (I don’t make friends easily) when I moved home I found it hard to find another church I felt comfortable at - my original Priest was wonderful and I think I was spoilt !

Anyway I moved and when I married my Husband it was a civil marriage abroad - this was more due to family arguments (between his and mine) than not wanting a church wedding.

My husband is not a catholic - in fact until I almost died giving birth to our second child he was agnostic. When I recovered from my son, we were given medical advice not to have any more children as I probably wouldn’t survive and so he had a vasectomy.

When I wanted to go back to the church when we moved to our present house (you know, fresh start and all that) I just felt so apart from it. I felt guilty that my marriage wasn’t ‘real’, that my children weren’t ‘recognised’ (even though they were both baptised as Catholics). I tried other churches where I knew this wouldn’t be a problem - I went to a Baptist church which started off ok but then I realised it was all church picnics and hand clapping. So I tried my local C of E - but they didn’t seem to believe in anything really - or in fact changed their minds depending on the politically correct wind! And I missed the real eucharist - for me ‘remembrance’ just wasn’t the same.

I feel I am being called back ‘home’ - I have prayed that God would show me where I am supposed to be and walking to pick my son up from school the other day I felt he was saying to me ‘I showed you before - you were the one who left’. But this time I want to do it properly. What of the above will be a problem and keep me from true ‘membership’ of the Church.

I was never particularly good at confession but am happy to do that of course - not being a ‘cradle catholic’ some of these things were still alien to me and I guess I never gave them enough time for them to become natural to me.

Thanks for reading all this - I wanted to say all the things I think are keeping me from the church and would really appreciate some advice as to how I overcome them to be in full communion again.

God is calling you home dear friend.

Luke 15:7 "Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. "

Do not wait, get on the phnow with your parish priest, make an appointment to speak to him, and do everything he tells you to do!

Every sin an and will be forgiven If, If we repent, Confess and Convert:thumbsup:

Love and prayers,

 

[St_Francis]

Have you been to Lourdes? That’s great! I have always wanted to go myself.

Since your daughter has already been baptized, I don’t think that this would be how she has her first Holy Communion. However, there have always been several children who were “late” receiving their first at the churches I have gone too, and they are just included in with the second-graders receiving their First Holy Communion

One thing to remember is that attending a First Holy Communion Mass is a special indulgence–so don’t forget to ask God for it when you go!

It sounds like your marriage problem will be easy to fix as others have said, since there is no divorce/remarriage aspect.

I returned to the Church and it was great I made an appointment for confession since I thought mine be rather long, and also because I wanted to be able to ask questions.

Also, in addition to CCD classes, I teach mine at home. I use the Baltimore Catechism, but others use the Faith and Life series and like it. There are other books, but these two seem to be the ones most people are happiest with as they really go into the Faith. I have learned a lot by doing this and by researching questions my children and others bring up.

Welcome Back!!!

 

[ojohn]

I say u go talk to preist and tell them what is on your mind and do cofession I find it is not that bad I am convert with some pretty bad sins in my past but the church teaches the only sins not forgiveable is the one you do not ask for . May GOD Bless you

 

[Seatuck]

catholicscomehome.org/

Welcome Back and Godspeed on your journey!

 

[mrs_miggins]

Thanks for all your advice - am speaking to DH this w/end (have had to wait till quiet time, no job or children to interupt as he has trouble concentrating on more than one thing at a time and I want his complete attention on this one!) and will put the idea of ‘convalidation’ (although I may call it ‘a blessing’ as he is non-catholic and won’t be put off by this) to him. Can’t wait now, actually, and have been reading other’s stories of baptism and confirmation at the Vigil with a little envy and sadness that I wasted it when I was my chance. Hey ho, such is life eh? - I know I’m a stronger person now - strong enough to ignore the nay-sayers about what I’m doing and just follow my heart and soul into the embrace of the Church.