HELP! Don't know what to do!

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Angela77

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So I’m having a bit of an internal crisis right now.

I am 18, and I am part of a youth group that is doing the 33-day-preparation for Consecration to Mary. Before this, I really didn’t know a great deal about Mary. Even though my family is Catholic, my parents aren’t über-über Catholic, so I never learned that stuff. So, it was just months ago that I seriously started learning about Mary. We didn’t read St. Louis de Monfort’s actual book about consecration; we read a children’s version. (I WISH we had read the real one because the kid’s one is watered down.)

I’m into the last couple weeks of this 33-day-preparation, and here’s the problem: I really don’t think I want to consecrate myself. A) I just barely started learning about Mary. B) I really don’t understand what this consecration is all about. The book didn’t make a ton of sense to me, maybe because it was the kid’s book. C) I am not a huge fan of the style of prayer required by the preparation (and if consecrated, you have to repeat yearly)…there are really long litanies, which I zone out during—I feel like I would be better off saying what comes from MY heart. D) Consecration is a VOW. I just found this out. If you fail to…I don’t even know what you’d have to fail at…I suppose failing would mean not giving all your merits to Mary. But that is very abstract to me, and I don’t really get it. Anyway, if you fail at this, it’s SIN because it was a vow.

My heart just isn’t in this. I’ve prayed about it, asking God to show me the importance of the consecration. But I just don’t see it. I don’t know if the devil is trying to lead me away, or if I’m seriously just not ready for this consecration.

Normally I’d just be like, “Okay, I won’t go through with it.” But I feel pressured! My peers will be doing it, the priest expects us to do it. He did say we didn’t have to if we didn’t want to, but that was several months ago. I feel so pressured! What if I’m the only one who doesn’t do it? What if the priest thinks I’ve, like, rejected my Catholic faith or something? Fortunately, I will never have to see these people again because I’m going to college next year, but still!

What should I do? Am I making a good decision here? Please help!

Thank you for reading all that.
 
I find it odd that the priest is making the entire youth group go through this. It is a private devotion and carries with it certain responsibilities. I think it needs to be a decision that each person makes for themselves. If you don’t feel ready to do this then you should not do it. Just tell the priest what you told us here, that you feel you are just learning about Mary and that perhaps you can make a consecration at a later date (or not at all - it is not required of Catholics).
 
A agree with Joannm above…This is a private devotion and you should not feel pressured to do it. I don’t know how the youth leader approached this in the beginning…but it should have been undertaken as a study of (not a preparation for) the consecration and then, only at the end, the proposal put forth that any who wished could take the vows or whatever…

Make an appointment to talk to this priest and tell him what you have told us. In fact, I would suggest printing out your OP and taking it with you so that, if you get nervous, you can just have him read it and start the conversation from there.

I suspect that you will be pleasantly surprised by your priest’s reaction.

Peace
James
 
I’d take a bullet for the BVM but I think what Joannm thinks. No one should be coerced into any devotion.
 
It does have the character of a vow, but any priest can dispense you of it, it isn’t like the Big Vow you would take as a nun or anything. If you don’t want to do the Consecration, don’t do it! It sounds like this is something that you don’t want or understand and you shouldn’t be under pressure to go forward with it. You may always come back to it at a later time if you change your mind. 🙂
 
Angela77 said:
I. C) I am not a huge fan of the style of prayer required by the preparation (and if consecrated, you have to repeat yearly)…there are really long litanies, which I zone out during—
Click to expand...
I remembered this line after I posted earlier. It sounds like you already know that you do not have to pray the litanies on a regular basis (daily, weekly, monthly etc.), but do you also know that you are not required to say them on a daily basis during your original, or yearly renewal of, Consecration? There is a lot of wiggle-room, and other methods of the Consecration (such as St. Maximilian Kolbe’s) require much less preparation. There is a lot of information, including some video instruction, from the Montfort fathers at montfortspirituality.org/ if you are interested. The Consecration is not meant to be burdensome.
 
Dosen’t sound as tho you know enough to make the act of consecration to Mary. This is important, because how can someone fulfill an act if they don’t know what it is? You need to study it like you said, and those parts you don’t understand then you should ask about so it is clear what it is. By the way, this knowledge is important and do not do anything which you don’t understand for grace comes thru understanding.

This is an on line version of explaining De Monfort’s way.

ewtn.com/library/montfort/truedevo.htm

The central point is that the person give all and everything they merit to Mary as far as that is possible. As you know, if a person is in the state of grace, the Father looks upon that person as his son/daughter. By this fact, everything that is good that that person does is pleasing to the Father and they will be rewarded with blessings. The Father does this willingly out of love. Depending on the person’s degree of faith, hope, and charity, their spiritual dispositions, they are given many blessings in this world as well as the next. In the act of consecration, that person gives all of these blessings away to their mother Mary to do with as she pleases. The person in grace, asks nothing in return. They rely completely on Mary for all their needs and desires without asking. They throw themselves completely on and trust absolutely in the love of Mary. This very act of consecrated love makes the person’s merits and prayers of more value being totally in the hands and heart of Mary made thru love.

This also means that the person needs a love of their neighbor: those in this world who are headed in the wrong direction, and those in the next world who are suffering in purgatory, or for other holy reasons.

Just some thoughts.​

“Mary, model of compassion, wounded by your offspring’s pain, when our hearts are torn by sorrow, teach us how to love again.” (hymn)
 
I would say talk to your priest about it and pray about it. The answer will come to you:)
 
Though making this consecration would be one of the the best things you could do for your soul and for your spiritual life you really do need to have your whole heart in it; otherwise, it would be offensive to God. Pray to Mary for her help with this and make your consecration with deep love and heartfelt devotion. God bless you.
 
Thank you for all the responses! They are helping greatly! I probably won’t do it, not NOW anyway; perhaps some day when I understand everything better.
 
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