Help for direction and resolve

[RoyNeary2001]

continued prayers for you and family

Thank you for the encouragement in building up the Church block by block upon the foundation of truth.

 

[mary1173]

I decided to post here because even though my other posts have been in the liturgy and sacraments, this post is not really a question but more of a need to seek spiritual assistance because of confusion and frustration with the faith.
Retrospectively, this concern would not have been apparent during a period of darkness and pain without appreciating its purpose. It now just adds further suffering to recognize the source of that pain.
Confirmation was merely a fact of life in 1984 without any content of catechisis in the faith. Confirmation was a way of passage right outside the door of the Church into the world. Beforehand, I had hesitancy and doubt about undergoing something not understood. I was too much in the frame of mind that it was like attending school, acquiring knowledge, demonstrating an ability to pass tests before receiving a certification. I basically underwent Confirmation by pleasing my mother and grandmother. There was also an element of social conformity with peers who attended a public school together. Catechism for an hour, once a week was woefully insufficient. On the other hand, after reading, listening and studying the conditions of the Church in the United States during the mid 1970s to mid 1980s, I have to wonder even if Catholic schools in name were handing on a counterfeit catechisis, watered down. I know not whether to be thankful for not having absorbed that rather than have insufficient faith. Is there comfort in reflecting upon the fact of having received the gift of Baptism and Confirmation?
Meanwhile, I became spiritually and emotionally adrift for at least ten years to 15 years while experiencing life’s disappointments, frustrations and losses. I became suspicious of organized religion as just a clique or club of like minded individuals. I was not susceptible to the wiles of evangelicalism. There are too many divisions and fragmentation of Christianity to think that these discredit and obscure the message. I was still searching for love in the beauty of women. I became very philosophical after a philosophy course in college. I desired wisdom. The second half of college was spent between studying economics and sociology. This was a roundabout way of seeking the kingdom of God by following the law of the household.
Even though my faith was probably initially awakened by 1987 by philosophy, it was not until 1992-1994 when Pope John Paul II visited the United States for World Youth Day in Denver, and later, I accompanied my grandfather to Europe for his return reunion to commemorate the 50th anniversity of D-Day and World War II in Europe. This became a spiritual pilgrammage for me by having visited the old churches of England, France, Belgium and Germany. I saw in the architecture what was lacking in the faith at home.
This is reflective thinking because basically my faith has difficulty growing and being nurtured for the past 15 years. I feel marginalized on the edge looking inwards, feeling weak and spiritually malnourished. I feel anxious and afraid. Everything about the faith has been learned from the outside through television and internet. I read daily scripture regularly now according to the daily mass readings. I occaisionally attend Masses during the week, and sometimes sit in Eucharistic Adoration.
I feel stuck and alone, feeling ashamed and embarassed, confused. Nobody in my family practices the Catholic faith anymore. The family is scattered geographically. My uncle is the only religious in a non denominational congregation. His mother, my grandmother recently died from complications of Alzheimers over a period of 15 years. My 90 year old grandfather is stubbornly indifferent to the faith, although he had a Catholic Mass of Chrisitan burial for her. That was an awkward moment.
For a very long time, I been reading and studying about the Eucharist. I have a fascination with medieval literature about the Holy Grail. I feel drawn to receiving communion worthily, unlike when younger without any sense about it. I need to confess. But I have difficulty trusting. I have so much doubt because of bad examples of scandal in the Church, and a feeling of betrayl for not having my faith nourished and nurtured. I have an underlying desire to be loved and love, but feel as if my natural love and desire has been misdirected. I felt a deep ache inside when unable to receive the Eucharist at my grandmother’s funeral. I was afraid of being unworthy, and not wanting to be a show off to my family.
I cannot understand my uncle’s wayward faith among the weeds. I cannot see the wheat through the chaffe. My neighbor has been trying to evangelize my parents and I about her faith. She is a Baptist who keeps changing congregations. This is a confusing obstacle to me. I dont want argue with her. My faith is so weak and tepid, that I can only offer the authority of the Catholic Church with Pope Benedict and John Paul II. She comes from the perspective of scripture alone. I am not confident enough to face someone who has scripture down by memory. I am still digesting daily readings through the assistance of authoritatitve commentators.
Please pray for me. Thank you for having read to this end. I have probably written too much, and left too many gaps to be coherent.

Be patient, and have faith, all you want to know about the faith is at your fingertips.
God Bless you and Keep you.
mary:thumbsup:

 

[St_Gabriel]

Continuing to pray for you and your aunt Barb…

Hail Mary,
full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit Of Thy Womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen

 

[Tarek_Chidiac]

continued prayers

 

[Trishie]

Appeal to the Saints

Saints and Angels of God, you fill Heaven and Earth with praise, gratitude and intercession. You are resplendent expressions of God’s love. You harmoniously enrich each other and glorify God in the perfect accomplishment of God’s image in you. Please offer for us the fruits of your earthly fidelity and charity and your heavenly blessedness, united with Jesus’ sacrifice.

The dilemmas and burdens of temptation, sin, guilt and suffering are eternally lifted from you, yet in the vivid, passing moments of life you lived with these things as I do now. To you the love, truth and glory of God are living realities that to my best understanding remain elusive, shadowy hopes.

Please pray to God for me out of your secure place in Heaven, for I, your kin and ransomed by Jesus’ blood, may yet be saved and sanctified. I may yet become, not just ‘a religious person who frequents the Sacraments’, but a channel of love and witness to others. Pray that I faithfully desire God’s highest will for me and for others whom He wishes to benefit through me, and never let us drift from His presence.

Pray that physical desires or errant spiritual aspirations do not possess us. Heaven’s queen, our Mother, at Fatima declared that sins of flesh are the judgement of most lost souls. For sake of her maternal love, please intercede that I aptly utilize characteristics and gifts intended for others’ welfare and my own.

Just as physical pride can become an idol in preference to God, so also can intellectual and spiritual pride lead to self-adoration. Therefore, please intercede for my wisdom and faith, for honesty regarding my real state and true relation to God. Pray that my temptations, trials, sufferings and failures, along with my good efforts and blessings, become tools of God’s Spirit.

I ask wisdom and grace to live God’s will even if I remain a disappointment to others and myself. Even without anyone’s awareness, let God make me sacramentally whole and delightful to Him.

Dear sisters and brothers in Heaven, you are kindred to all whom God created me to benefit. Let us each receive your unique blessing, for you are rich in God and glorify in unique fashion, the love of our Creator. Please surround us with your love, protection and intercession, so that you may welcome us into our everlasting home in the presence of God, together with our Mother, and the Angels!

All saints of God please powerfully pray for us that God’s desires will be fulfilled in our lives as we joyfully anticipate the fullness of communion in heaven. God, we honour and thank You for the example and teaching of Your Saints. Thank You for their intercession, requested, and voluntary, out of Your love for us. July 1981

*“It is God’s will that in this world souls shall dispense to each other, by prayer, the treasures of Heaven, in order that when they reach their everlasting Home they may love one another with grateful hearts, and with an affection far in excess of that which reigns in the most perfect family on earth.” “I have often thought that perhaps I owe all the graces, with which I am laden, to some little soul whom I shall know only in Heaven.” *[Saint Therese of Lisieux]

 

[srlucado]

Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

 

[RoyNeary2001]

Appeal to the Saints

. Just as physical pride can become an idol in preference to God, so also can intellectual and spiritual pride lead to self-adoration. Therefore, please intercede for my wisdom and faith, for honesty regarding my real state and true relation to God. Pray that my temptations, trials, sufferings and failures, along with my good efforts and blessings, become tools of God’s Spirit.

Yes

 

[Tarek_Chidiac]

continued prayers

 

[ridiculeddisply]

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and Blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

 

[Tarek_Chidiac]

Hail Mary, Full of Grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and Blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now, and at the hour of our death.
Amen.