Help! How to get my daughter to choose adoption instead of abortion

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Jonkathy3

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My wayward daughter is pregnant. She was raised catholic but since she was 15 she seems to have fallen further and further away. She’s just turned 18. She told me she is with child and planning an abortion, she actually asked to borrow money from her grandmother to finance it. Obviously I believe abortion is slaughtering an innocent child created by God. I don’t know how I could handle knowing my child was responsible for murder of a baby.

She is and always had been adamant she doesn’t want to be a mother. And frankly she has a mental disorder that would make raising a child hard as she doesn’t even take care of herself properly. For our/her specific circumstances I really believe adoption would be the best outcome for this situation.

How can I possibly make her see this? Im about to lose my wits and lock the child in her room until she’s too far along :roll_eyes:
 
Depending on where you are, you may be able to establish guardianship over her. She wouldn’t be able to get an abortion then.

If she is mentally unfit to be a mother, and you can prove it to a judge, you may be able to sterilize her if you can get guardianship. It sounds archaic and brutal, but with a woman who isn’t mentally fit to be a mother and has been proven to be careless with sex and pregnancy, depending on where to live, a case could be made.
 
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She’s a human not an animal. We do not sterilize people because of their mental health.

OP, I advise prayer (storm Heaven), then let your daughter know that you are there for her no matter what, but tell her why you think she shouldn’t have an abortion. Tell her that you will support her through the pregnancy and adoption process. If she decides she wants to keep the baby, help her raise it. But most of all, forgive her if she does go through with it and be there for her if she has regrets.
 
First, take a breath…I’m sure you weren’t expecting to deal with this, now!

The life of the baby comes first…so, offering to help her get sterilized, or heavily pushing for an adoption may simply validate her choice, now. Speak of the unique experience of pregnancy, that this may be the only time she’ll get to experience it, and, yes, the challenge and enjoyable feelings that having a child might do! If/when she brings up her problems, then you can bring up the fact that many fine couples want children, but are unable to conceive, and they would give her child a wonderful life-that an abortion would make impossible.

I know this is extremely difficult for you, but be as positive as you possibly can to childbirth/pregnancy/motherhood with her.

Oh, would her grandmother even. help pay for an abortion? If she tries to use another reason for needing the money, be sure to set Grandma straight as to what she’d be financing.
 
I doubt the OP meant that as a serious suggestion. I think it was just an expression of exasperation. But, yes, it definitely would not be wise to do that!
 
Since she has fallen away from the Church, the attempt to reach her via secular arguments against abortion may be helpful. As might arguments based on long-term mental and physical health outcomes. Should be a fair amount of literature out there from secular pro-life proponents that will help the OP. It should be valid as long as it does not come into conflict with Catholic doctrine. Good luck.
 
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Maybe this argument might help convince her? Let her know that you will support her if she keeps the baby. Also talk to your priest
 
OP, while you do your research, please please also be very aware of the assistance your daughter will need if she does choose adoption. The psychological impact on relinquishing mothers is worse, and more long lasting, than on women who abort.

I am not seeking to persuade you of the merits of abortion. But please research adoption trauma as well. You need to know what to expect.
 
Questioner13 said:
The psychological impact on relinquishing mothers is worse, and more long lasting, than on women who abort.
Click to expand...
Please, in the pro life world we must stop demonizing adoption.

Do you have some peer reviewed studies that show it is more difficult for a mother to give life to her child than to give death to that child?
 
i agree that giving a child to adoption is a trauma that must need to carefully consider, but to compare to abortion trauma and said it is less tramatic is at your own risk…

Abortion is a mortal sin, not adoption.
 
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