Help! How tolerant should a Catholic be?

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DaughterOfLight

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I have more protestant friends than Catholic. I’ve talk to most of them about the Church, Mary, the Pope, Tradition, Confession, calling priests “Father,” so nothing new. But I’ve been blamed of being intolerant. How tolerant should I be? I know through the Catholic Church that I am right. I’ve not said that outright, but one of my friends said he thought I was too pushy and bullheaded about it. I admit to being a emotional person by nature. And I’m not good at debate, even though I’m in them a lot. But should I act like is doesn’t matter what they believe? Should I condone it? I’m really good friends with them, and I don’t want to lose that friendship. But their souls could be in danger. Help!
:confused:🤷
 
Have you ever had a disagreement with someone, and the more they tried to convince you one way, the more you got your back up to resist them? It sounds like that’s what’s happening with your friends. The more you try to convince them, the more they resist.

Ultimately I don’t think we’re going to talk people into the church by twisting their arms, we’re going to invite them in and lure them in when they see the joy and beauty of it.

The only place I’d put a limit on things is that I think people need to be respectful. Our relationships with God are so personal and so important, that I wouldn’t allow anyone to disrespect my beliefs. But that goes the other way too.
 
Don’t try to change your friends. Allow them to want to change because they see how happy you are in your relationship with God. Be living proof. Aruging with them will not change their minds. But the next time they have a change of “preachers” or have a disagreement with someone in their church, maybe, just maybe you can invite them to go with you.

As a recent convert (Easter 2007) I have invited many people to go with me to RCIA classes. I have brought 5 into the church who converted with me, and they have brought 4 more to RCIA this time.

Taking someone to RCIA for their first visit to the Catholic faith is much better than taking them to Mass. They won’t understand any of it. They may feel lost and then never return.
 
Thank you for that last bit! I have had two friends ask about it. I’ll take the to RCIA next time, instead of Mass. (I’d never thought of that…)

Thank you, and God Bless! 🙂
 
Don’t do what i do and call them heretics. Granted, i’m the position of being a myspace group apogolist who fought a loosing battle against a bunch of protestants who now think I’m an arogent b---- (not far from the truth, but hey i’m not the one the outside looking in) whose last statement to them was “those who mock HIS church, deny HIS mother, refuse HIS body and HIS blood, will not enter HIS kingdom. God forgive me, I will not die a heretic” after they told me I was brainwashed and needed to grown up and get some adult world wisdom. But enough about my problems.

I actually love debating with my protestant friends because I can stay chariable to them. Always remember to remain chariable. The next time your in a debate, take the time to consitor their arugment, don’t just say the first thing that pops into your head and never say “because the Church says so” and if you need to, tell them you think that they should find support for their side, and you will find support for yours. And use the bible alot. I’d carry a pocket sized one with you, if you could. Mark passages that would be especially helpful (Such as when Jesus called Peter the rock). Sometimes being confronted with scripture is all it takes. And remember some modern translations are not the same as the oringal bible. For instance the modern translation of Gabriel’s greeting of Mary is “Hail thou that art highly favored…” The orginal greek and latin translations use “full of grace” rather then “highly favored” hence the first line of the Hail Mary.

I hope this helps.
 
Here are some guidelines from the Second Vatican Council:

"28. Respect and love ought to be extended also to those who think or act differently than we do in social, political and even religious matters. In fact, the more deeply we come to understand their ways of thinking through such courtesy and love, the more easily will we be able to enter into dialogue with them.

This love and good will, to be sure, must in no way render us indifferent to truth and goodness. Indeed love itself impels the disciples of Christ to speak the saving truth to all men. But it is necessary to distinguish between error, which always merits repudiation, and the person in error, who never loses the dignity of being a person even when he is flawed by false or inadequate religious notions.(10) God alone is the judge and searcher of hearts, for that reason He forbids us to make judgments about the internal guilt of anyone.(11)"

“The disciple is bound by a grave obligation toward Christ, his Master, ever more fully to understand the truth received from Him, faithfully to proclaim it, and vigorously to defend it, never-be it understood-having recourse to means that are incompatible with the spirit of the Gospel. At the same time, the charity of Christ urges him to love and have prudence and patience in his dealings with those who are in error or in ignorance with regard to the faith.”
 
There is a great book out “What is the point of being Christian?” by Radcliffe. One of the points of his book is that the Catholic Church has gotten away from iits mission of living the life of Christ, embracing all, being the best example possible, and performing acts of charity. Instead, we argue about faith, see others as lower on the scale due to their beliefs, quibble about Church affairs, and lose sight of the big picture. As a result, we no longer set the example.

It’s good advice for us all I think…
 
Your heart is in the right place. Being tolerant does not follow compromising or giving in to a washed down version of catholicism for the sake of ecumenism. That may sound harsh if it comes down to debate or a challenging of your faith by your protestant friends. The key is to remain at peace not just outwardly but interior peace also. Remember, all true Christians came from the Catholic faith and some day they will all return to the Catholic faith. I make the distinction of “true Christians” as those who believe and confess the divinity of Christ. Some times it’s not how much you tell them about catholicism that will sway a debate in your favor but, how much peace you enjoy that makes them think. His sign over us is peace. If you do not have His peace suffusing your being, all the knowledge of the “Catholic Encyclopedia” won’t help the situation. Tolerant - yes. Wishey washey - no. Be firm in what you believe especially the things near and dear to our catholic hearts: Theotokos; Eucharist; Sacraments; Rosary etc etc etc. Saint Michael the Archangel and your own Guardian Angel will aide you throughout your day.

Sancte Michael Arcangele, defende nos in proelio, contra nequitiam et insidias diaboli, esto praesidium…

Angele Dei, qui custos est mei, me tibi commisum pietate…

Learn these prayers (English or Latin) and say them often day and night.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.
 
If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians: 13:1-3

St. Francis told us: Preach the Gospel always. Use words if necessary.

The most important part of our faith is Jesus Christ. They first must understand this is the center of your faith. You have to walk the walk before they will want to hear you talk the talk.

Second, they have to be open to what you say. Wait for them to ask you questions. Give them a straight Catholic answer. Don’t engage in argument but only engage to inform.

Third, don’t be defensive. We have nothing to be defensive about. We have Truth on our side. If they make a false statement. Gently and with charity, clarify the information. Then pray for the intercession of the Holy Spirit to open their heart to what you said.

Someone on here said something I’ve really taken to heart. I’m not here to convert. I’m here to converse. It is the Holy Spirit who converts.
 
It is easy to get emotional when we feel someone is attacking our beliefs. I had a relative send me over the edge once because she kept saying that she hated the Catholic Church and I had to tell her that I was part of the Body of Christ that she kept saying that she hated! Not good.

When talking with Protestants, I second the suggestion to invite them to visit an RCIA class about a topic that they have wanted to talk about. I only suggest this if you have a good RCIA program that really teaches the office church teachings.

I have collected a number of good books since my time as a candidate, so I also offer to loan a book. I especially like the conversion stories of former Protestant ministers and scholars from the same denomination as the person I’m speaking with. Patrick Madrid has good collections of stories in the “Surprised by Truth” series of books. If you don’t have a good Catholic book store in your area check online. It is a great investment in your own spiritual growth as well as a possible lifeline to the faith for someone else.

I have a couple of books that explain the liturgy. One is called “Understanding the Mass.” I try to loan such a book to someone who might want to visit my parish so that they can understand the “biblical” and historical roots of our liturgy. So many Protestants will recognize the Scripture in the prayers and responses on their own if they are paying attention but many will be too focused on the visual differences to hear these things. Sometimes it helps to tell someone that most people don’t object to the real teachings of our church but rather the misinformation that they may have heard about them.

Above all I think that apologetics can be hard because it is hard to stay calm and detached when “discussing” things near and dear to us. I think that when starting out it is often better to say that we are not particularly good at putting a concept into words and that we will give them something to read that explains it better than we could. It allows a cooling down time and less pressure on both people. You can always answer questions after they have read something.

Another tip is that certain concepts require some background to be understandable, so you have to build lessons to get there. Our RCIA starts with basic beliefs of all Christians, history of the church, the authority of the church to teach on faith and morals and works toward things like life issues and Mary.
 
AS another poster said, St. Francis said,“Preach the gospel, use words if necessary.” It is useless to get into pointless debates with those outside the Church. It is better to live a good life in front of them and show holiness and mercy than it is to browbeat people. Jesus let unbelieving people depart from Him, He didn’t chase them down and try to convince them.
I agree that it is very hard to keep your mouth shut - I have a very emotional nature and it upsets me to see so much Protestant heresy rampant in the lives of my friends, but there is not a lot I can do. I HAVE won the respect of my Protestant friends who used to think the Catholic Church was the Babylon whore, and they now accept me as an actual Christian.
That’s basically all I can do, is to let my light shine and be open about my beliefs.
 
DaughterOfLight said:
I have more protestant friends than Catholic. I’ve talk to most of them about the Church, Mary, the Pope, Tradition, Confession, calling priests “Father,” so nothing new. But I’ve been blamed of being intolerant. How tolerant should I be? I know through the Catholic Church that I am right. I’ve not said that outright, but one of my friends said he thought I was too pushy and bullheaded about it. I admit to being a emotional person by nature. And I’m not good at debate, even though I’m in them a lot. But should I act like is doesn’t matter what they believe? Should I condone it? I’m really good friends with them, and I don’t want to lose that friendship. But their souls could be in danger. Help!
:confused:🤷
Click to expand...
Do you remember how Jesus told the diciples that those whoare for us cannot be against us. Love them it the element that is missing in the religious community world wide.

Godbless
Godlovestrength
 
Godlovestrength said:
Do you remember how Jesus told the diciples that those whoare for us cannot be against us. Love them it the element that is missing in the religious community world wide.

Godbless
Godlovestrength
Click to expand...
Those who mock HIS church, deny HIS mother, and refuse HIS body and HIS blood, cannot enter HIS kingdom. Protestants may not be against US intentally but they are against HIS church.
 
DaughterOfLight said:
I have more protestant friends than Catholic. I’ve talk to most of them about the Church, Mary, the Pope, Tradition, Confession, calling priests “Father,” so nothing new. But I’ve been blamed of being intolerant. How tolerant should I be? I know through the Catholic Church that I am right. I’ve not said that outright, but one of my friends said he thought I was too pushy and bullheaded about it. I admit to being a emotional person by nature. And I’m not good at debate, even though I’m in them a lot. But should I act like is doesn’t matter what they believe? Should I condone it? I’m really good friends with them, and I don’t want to lose that friendship. But their souls could be in danger. Help!
:confused:🤷
Click to expand...
I think that what might help is if you take some of the pressure off yourself personally to save the person. That is up to the Holy Spirit and the individual. You can give them the information but that is all that you can do.

Remember to be polite and respectful. I was turned off of Christianity for a long while by overly pushy Christians who wanted to beat me over the head with religion. Sometimes the best course of action is to back off for awhile.

If they ask questions don’t hesitate to answer. If they misinterpret the Church then respond politely but firmly.
 
Godlovestrength said:
Do you remember how Jesus told the diciples that those whoare for us cannot be against us. Love them it the element that is missing in the religious community world wide.

Godbless
Godlovestrength
Click to expand...
You have a much more negative view of the religious community then I do. I don’t think that love is missing in our Church.

What is more loving then to bring someone into the fullness of our faith? 🙂
 
RWMorris said:
AS another poster said, St. Francis said,“Preach the gospel, use words if necessary.” It is useless to get into pointless debates with those outside the Church. It is better to live a good life in front of them and show holiness and mercy than it is to browbeat people. Jesus let unbelieving people depart from Him, He didn’t chase them down and try to convince them.
I agree that it is very hard to keep your mouth shut - I have a very emotional nature and it upsets me to see so much Protestant heresy rampant in the lives of my friends, but there is not a lot I can do. I HAVE won the respect of my Protestant friends who used to think the Catholic Church was the Babylon whore, and they now accept me as an actual Christian.
That’s basically all I can do, is to let my light shine and be open about my beliefs.
Click to expand...
I think that this is good advice.🙂
 
deb1 said:
You have a much more negative view of the religious community then I do. I don’t think that love is missing in our Church.

What is more loving then to bring someone into the fullness of our faith? 🙂
Click to expand...
***I agree with you and have no right to think that love is missing in our congregations, I believe that I have not been seen the way I ment. ***

I only ment that the light a person has, allow it to be seen by others and if they come or not then just love them as they are. It is that love that they see that would turn their eyes/heart to the fullness of Jesus in His church community.
It is the acceptance of Jesus being paramont in their heart being the most important person in their life that counts.
God bless
Godlovestrength.
 
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