Help! I’m Bisexual But I Want To Be Straight?

[LuvGodandFortnite]

Hi I’m a 21 year old female. I don’t quite understand my sexuality. Am I bi or lesbian or something? I’m so ashamed. Unfortunately I suffered from porn addiction for years. I noticed through the years of watching porn I can only reach orgasm when I watch women. I try to focus on men but I can’t reach orgasm no matter how hard I try. I still feel sexually attracted to men but it’s a slight and dull attraction. However I’m romantically attracted to men. I’m not romantically attracted to women at all. I want to live a good life and have a good future. I want to have a husband and I hope we can be happy together. But I’m scared because of my sexuality. Is there any hope for me?? I feel so depressed and hurt.

Also I’ve never dated any guys or had sex. And I would never date women because I don’t like them romantically.

 

[Wesrock]

Do you think you could date men, love and marry a single man until death, and have a healthy relationshio with one?

 

[LuvGodandFortnite]

I hope so! I would love that. But I’m worried a man won’t accept me if I struggle in bed with him

 

[Kima]

For at least it´s good to know that pornography increases the expectations of sex, in such a way that sex isn´t what you just as good as you´ve expected. At least, that´s what I´ve heard.

Don´t stress about how you are going to be in bed with him. Take it as it is when it comes.

It seems to me that you are just confused about your sexuality, likely to be a result of watching porn. I think it´s likely that you may be straight but confused.
Don´t stress about this. If you are straight/bisexual and marry a guy then be satisfied with it, if not, choose single life.

 

[Anicette]

i think you give too much details in your post…

To reassure you, I will said that pornography is not the real word. it really distorsed our perception of life. Would you have the same inclinaisons in real life with real people? As you mentionned, you are attracted to men, but not in sexual videos. That’s the most important…

it is hard to advise on theses subjects, when we are not professionals. I suppose some would said we can find a variety of preferences in humans, that some prefered a romance with one sex, but sexuality with another…

Women sems to tend to be more sexually attracted to both genders than men.

Us, catholics, as you know, should seek an harmony in our life choice; We cannot separate marriage, from sexuality and from procreation. We should life all with the sale person, or remain single, chaste and childless.

I encourage you to find a way to stop watching pornogaphy, and seek therapy if you feel the need to understand you better, before you start having a relationship with a man. You would after seen if it your issues would remain an issue for a marriage or not.

If it remains, the person that you wishe to maary have a right to know it for being able to do his free choice.

 

[redbetta]

I think before you decide whether you would be able to commit to a man, you should get over your porn addiction. Like all drugs, it messes with your brain chemistry and it is likely you won’t find women as attractive after being sober for a while.

 

[KJ_AZ2NH301]

As a 27-year-old male, I understand the addiction to pornography; I have suffered myself. That is the source.

Scientifically/biologically what happens when you view pornography, and especially if it involves masturbation, your brain releases adrenaline, dopamine AND the chemical oxytocin. Oxytocin is the “bonding chemical” that makes your brain associate a bond with what makes you feel good. So biologically/chemically, your brain has wired itself to associate pleasure and attraction to what gave you that flood of adrenaline, dopamine, and oxytocin.

It’s likely that you’re suffering the effects of your addiction and are not necessarily lesbian, bisexual, or anything of that sort. So, I encourage and implore you to seek Confession as well as some help to alleviate you of your addiction to pornography. It will be hard to do, and won’t happen overnight, but let me assure you that you can overcome it and find restoration in Christ.

He makes all things new.

 

[Wife.of.Gabriel]

I suffered from porn addiction for years. … I can’t reach orgasm no matter how hard I try.

Before being successful in any future relationship, you’ll need to overcome your pornography addiction and addiction to self-pleasure/masturbation (orgasms outside of marriage). Awareness that both are sinful is the first step. Other steps include Frequent Confession, Avoidance of whatever leads you towards committing those sins (internet access for example), Daily Mass, Reception of the Eucharist while in the state of Grace, Frequent Bible Reading.

Seeking orgasm outside of marriage is a purely selfish act, so purposefully doing selfless acts instead would be another good way to fight the temptation & eventually overcome selfishness by on a regular basis by loving other people rather than remaining so self-focused. Like volunteering to serve food to the homeless or reading to lonely elderly at a nursing home or teaching English at a community center or give flowers to someone or write a letter to encourage someone. Everyday you could purposely do one or more things to help other people, to meet their basic needs or bring them a little joy. By focusing on others, you begin the healing process for your selfishness.

Once you overcome these sins that you’ve notice in yourself, you’ll be that much closer to be ready for a relationship when the right person for marriage comes along.

 

[acanonlawyer]

Is there any hope for me??

There certainly is. Pornography can mess with your mind. I suggest focusing on overcoming this and not concern yourself with the various pitfalls/issues/problems that can come with dating and marriage and the issue of your “orientation.”

Perhaps you can find a good confessor who can help you.

Dan