Help in Dallas

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Dave_in_Dallas

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Short story: I recently returned to Catholic Church a couple of months ago, wife came with me (she had RCIA 7 yrs ago, came in at that Easter, and then left to go back to protestant church). I knew she was hesitant, but it’s came out that she may be regretting going to catholic Church:
  1. She didn’t like the inference from the deacon at our convalidation that we weren’t really married before, and that God was really a part of our marriage for past 7 years
  2. 7 yrs ago creepy priest told transvestite joke at christmas mass, that plus abuse scandals that continue to come out === —> priests shouldn’t be celibate
  3. she most (not all) people acting like they dread going to be at mass, and don’t really mean “peace be with you”… just going through motions
  4. (some things she just seems to bring up the old protestant anti-catholic rhetoric – so I can usually deflect those).
  5. there’s also the old “all those rules” and how we keep people out of our communion “club”
  6. she brought up there is little chance of fellowship – so I opened my mouth and said well I haven’t really looked into it yet, but I will, and if there isn’t a study then we’ll start one – and if no one wants to at our parish then we;ll go find one somewhere near us that does, because surely we can;'t be the only ones who want adult bible study fellowship!
  7. Many Catholics view the priests (bishops, popes) as holy and almost divine… I told her they are called to be an example, and live a holier life, and actually be servants for Christ to us in the church and community, but they are not sinless, still go to confession…etc
I’m sure others face this out there… I’m keeping calm (at least trying to 🙂 ), learning as much apologetics as possible; speaking the truth of when I don’t know, understand, or have trouble believing certain doctrines ; and praying…

What have other folks done? have you been able to find or create adult bible/fellowship groups?
 
Dave, I don’t know where you are in Dallas but there is a great Bible study run by Fr. John Libone at St. Thomas Aquinas Church close to 75 and Mockingbird. It’s on Tuesday nights. Could you try to go there? This is a wonderful Church with good, kind, warm people and I think both you and your wife would be very blessed to be part of that. Here is a link to the Church web site: stthomasaquinas.org/

If you want more information about the Bible study, call the Church office: 214-821-3360. They can tell you the when and where specifically.
 
Let me introduce you to my website:

alabamacatholicresources.com

There’s a bunch of .mp3’s there for Catholics to learn and strengthen their faith.

One of the most popular is a three part video on “Origin of the Bible” which you can view here:

alabamacatholicresources.com/Bible.html

There are also many conversion stories at the following:

alabamacatholicresources.com/conversion_stories.html

Also, I’m sure you’ll love Fr. Larry Richards’ talks, among others, at the following:

alabamacatholicresources.com/church_in_the_world.html

God bless! 🙂
 
Dave_in_Dallas said:
Short story: I recently returned to Catholic Church a couple of months ago, wife came with me (she had RCIA 7 yrs ago, came in at that Easter, and then left to go back to protestant church). I knew she was hesitant, but it’s came out that she may be regretting going to catholic Church:
  1. She didn’t like the inference from the deacon at our convalidation that we weren’t really married before, and that God was really a part of our marriage for past 7 years
  2. 7 yrs ago creepy priest told transvestite joke at christmas mass, that plus abuse scandals that continue to come out === —> priests shouldn’t be celibate
  3. she most (not all) people acting like they dread going to be at mass, and don’t really mean “peace be with you”… just going through motions
  4. (some things she just seems to bring up the old protestant anti-catholic rhetoric – so I can usually deflect those).
  5. there’s also the old “all those rules” and how we keep people out of our communion “club”
  6. she brought up there is little chance of fellowship – so I opened my mouth and said well I haven’t really looked into it yet, but I will, and if there isn’t a study then we’ll start one – and if no one wants to at our parish then we;ll go find one somewhere near us that does, because surely we can;'t be the only ones who want adult bible study fellowship!
  7. Many Catholics view the priests (bishops, popes) as holy and almost divine… I told her they are called to be an example, and live a holier life, and actually be servants for Christ to us in the church and community, but they are not sinless, still go to confession…etc
I’m sure others face this out there… I’m keeping calm (at least trying to 🙂 ), learning as much apologetics as possible; speaking the truth of when I don’t know, understand, or have trouble believing certain doctrines ; and praying…

What have other folks done? have you been able to find or create adult bible/fellowship groups?
Click to expand...
It is clear she does not understand catholic teaching, I would take these issues to the University of Dallas and ask for a more through teaching. The school is within walking distance of the old Texas Stadium site. (Carl road maybe?) RCIA is not design to be apologetics, apologetics may not be the correct approach here. It is clear from these comments there is a lack of faith regardless of religion, whether church members are hypocrites is not her problem, nor are there any churches free of that, so which hypocrites show up where is irrelevant. It is clear she does not trust god, and that is the core issue.
 
It is clear she does not trust god, and that is the core issue.
Click to expand...
It is clear that she doesn’t fully understand the Catholic Church… But’s it’s a pretty big leap in judgment to assume she doesn’t trust God, IMO…

I think it’s always best to assume the best of people rather than the worst…(I Corinithians 13:6,7)
 
Scoobyshme said:
Let me introduce you to my website:

alabamacatholicresources.com
Click to expand...
That is YOUR sight?!?!? I love that sight! Good job, Scooby!
Scoobyshme said:
Also, I’m sure you’ll love Fr. Larry Richards’ talks, among others, at the following:

alabamacatholicresources.com/church_in_the_world.html

God bless! 🙂
Click to expand...
As a huge fan of Fr. Larry Richards myself, I found this web site that has about 25 of his talks. He is well worth the time spent listening to him.
 
I’ll have to check the websites over lunch or over the weekend… thanks for pointing to them.

Reading Fr. Larry’s “Be a Man” convinced me to come back into full communion with Catholic Church… so I do love him (in a manly way… lol!)
 
Dave_in_Dallas said:
Short story: I recently returned to Catholic Church a couple of months ago, wife came with me (she had RCIA 7 yrs ago, came in at that Easter, and then left to go back to protestant church). I knew she was hesitant, but it’s came out that she may be regretting going to catholic Church:
  1. She didn’t like the inference from the deacon at our convalidation that we weren’t really married before, and that God was really a part of our marriage for past 7 years
  2. 7 yrs ago creepy priest told transvestite joke at christmas mass, that plus abuse scandals that continue to come out === —> priests shouldn’t be celibate
  3. she most (not all) people acting like they dread going to be at mass, and don’t really mean “peace be with you”… just going through motions
  4. (some things she just seems to bring up the old protestant anti-catholic rhetoric – so I can usually deflect those).
  5. there’s also the old “all those rules” and how we keep people out of our communion “club”
  6. she brought up there is little chance of fellowship – so I opened my mouth and said well I haven’t really looked into it yet, but I will, and if there isn’t a study then we’ll start one – and if no one wants to at our parish then we;ll go find one somewhere near us that does, because surely we can;'t be the only ones who want adult bible study fellowship!
  7. Many Catholics view the priests (bishops, popes) as holy and almost divine… I told her they are called to be an example, and live a holier life, and actually be servants for Christ to us in the church and community, but they are not sinless, still go to confession…etc
I’m sure others face this out there… I’m keeping calm (at least trying to 🙂 ), learning as much apologetics as possible; speaking the truth of when I don’t know, understand, or have trouble believing certain doctrines ; and praying…

What have other folks done? have you been able to find or create adult bible/fellowship groups?
Click to expand...
You might try Saint Marks in Plano Texas. The pastor there is an ex-protestant himself. Perhaps he could lend insight in to this matter.

The pastor’s name is Cliff. This isn’t my parish, it is my Father’s old parish, and my father thinks Cliff is just fantastic.
 
NotWorthy said:
That is YOUR sight?!?!? I love that sight! Good job, Scooby!

As a huge fan of Fr. Larry Richards myself, I found this web site that has about 25 of his talks. He is well worth the time spent listening to him.
Click to expand...
Notworthy, thanks! I keep adding little bits and pieces as I find them. Maybe I can add a page for Fr. Larry. I’ll go check the website out and see what’s up with it. God bless! 🙂
 
Dave,

I have a similar situation with different nuances so I won’t spare you the details.

Here’s what has/is working for me.
  1. Stop any anger that you might have do to the situation and accept your wife for where she is in her faith journey. You don’t have to like it, but love her anyway.
  2. Setup a meeting with a priest you feel comfortable talking to and get things out on the table…nicely let him hear what you are personally going through and listen to his guidance.
  3. Now that you’ve accepted your wife in her spiritual journey, ask that she respect yours…so, take charge of your journey and love God and Church (foremost) with all of your heart and soul.
PLUS
  1. PRAY…Feel comfortable saying a prayer silently to yourself before meals or take time and prepare a public prayer before your Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other special feasts. You’ll be surprised at how good you feel to know that you prepared and delivered them. Take time to head to mass a little early and spend time in Gods house and before the Eucharist…even it means driving separately to Mass…if you’re wife will even attend with you…again, don’t force anything.
  2. LEARN…Continue learning and growing in your faith…books, bible, websites, charity groups, etc…enjoy the ride.
  3. UNITY…Get involved. Because of my situation and because of my own faith journey, I’m now on the parish council, a Lector, help teach Religious Education, etc. If you’re wife won’t accept your love for the love for the Church and help to grow in her Catholic faith, others will. Reach out to others for unity.
  4. SACRIFICE and SACRAMENTS…Give to charity…money and time…your charities…the ones you believe in. Make your world about giving more than receiving. Also, take part in the Sacraments.
Theres more, but hope this helps your situation…It did mine.
 
Dave_in_Dallas said:
Short story: I recently returned to Catholic Church a couple of months ago, wife came with me (she had RCIA 7 yrs ago, came in at that Easter, and then left to go back to protestant church). I knew she was hesitant, but it’s came out that she may be regretting going to catholic Church:
  1. She didn’t like the inference from the deacon at our convalidation that we weren’t really married before, and that God was really a part of our marriage for past 7 years
  2. 7 yrs ago creepy priest told transvestite joke at christmas mass, that plus abuse scandals that continue to come out === —> priests shouldn’t be celibate
  3. she most (not all) people acting like they dread going to be at mass, and don’t really mean “peace be with you”… just going through motions
  4. (some things she just seems to bring up the old protestant anti-catholic rhetoric – so I can usually deflect those).
  5. there’s also the old “all those rules” and how we keep people out of our communion “club”
  6. she brought up there is little chance of fellowship – so I opened my mouth and said well I haven’t really looked into it yet, but I will, and if there isn’t a study then we’ll start one – and if no one wants to at our parish then we;ll go find one somewhere near us that does, because surely we can;'t be the only ones who want adult bible study fellowship!
  7. Many Catholics view the priests (bishops, popes) as holy and almost divine… I told her they are called to be an example, and live a holier life, and actually be servants for Christ to us in the church and community, but they are not sinless, still go to confession…etc
I’m sure others face this out there… I’m keeping calm (at least trying to 🙂 ), learning as much apologetics as possible; speaking the truth of when I don’t know, understand, or have trouble believing certain doctrines ; and praying…

What have other folks done? have you been able to find or create adult bible/fellowship groups?
Click to expand...
My sister-in-law also went through a very poor RCIA and has ended up leaving the Church. It is a very sad state of affairs. And I certainly have encountered also the questionable jokes told at Mass and it is scandalous and your wife was scandalized.

I had to move away from my bad parish. I am now in a faithful parish and it is wonderful to hear true Catholic teaching and to not worry about what innovation is coming next. You might search out any other parishes that are not too far away. Look for a faithful parish, one with adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, and with other amenities where you can find the fellowship needed.

What I had to do in my former parish was have a bible study in my home. I used Catholic Sacred Scripture Study which is quite good. The pastor did not like it because it used the Catechism and so on and he did not like that (!). We had a successful bible study in my home though. At my new parish I also help out with this. We are also implementing “That Man is YOu” and “Women of Grace”. People are social beings and fellowship is important.

The Carmelite monestary might be a place for a good and faithful mass; I have heard of it. But look around. Find a holy parish with a holy priest. That is a good first step. And good luck. Pray a lot. Keep your rosary close.
 
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