First off, spend a little time and say a good sincere Act of Contrition. That should relieve you of any concern you may have that you are somehow doomed if you just can’t make it to confession real soon.
Second, ask God for forgiveness and the grace and blessings to continue with your desire to return to the Church. Return to attend masses as often as you can, and make it a point to go to confession as soon as you can.
Even if you do not have a permanent priest, there are priests in other parishes, and even priests online. I don’t think they can absolve you like in a regular confession but in an emergency, they may.
In the meantime, continue to pray every day. God forgives you even if you think He does not. You are not the only one to have wandered away for many years. When I was away for 10 years or more the first thing the priest in confession said was “welcome home”, that made me feel terrific. That was over 20 years ago and I have never strayed away again.
I never want to feel so separated again. The Church is where I want to stay and I want to say to you ,Welcome home !!!
You are taking a huge step towards coming home, don’t feel ashamed or despair or fear, feel relieved, hopeful and joyful that you are finally coming home. It’s been a long time away don’t give up now !.
Christ’s Peace