Help...Making Promises to God

[dumspirospero]

Is it appropriate to make a Promise to God that you may not be able to keep. Just let me say up front, I honestly do not have a drinking problem…I don’t drink often, and I usually don’t drink to the point of intoxication. I just like to have a couple of drinks with my friends. However…I don’t want to drink period. Not because it has caused me any problems in my life or that I have been adversely effected by it…I just want to stop. I know sometimes in the past when I would have to much, it would sometimes lead to other sins and I want to avoid that. I want to have a pure heart and a clean spirit…that is why don’t want to drink.

What is bothering me is I made a promise to myself and God that I wouldn’t drink any alcohol whatsoever, and I regretably let myself and God down. I am well over 25 and did not drink and drive or anything like that…I just did what I said I wouldn’t do. Should I place restrictions upon myself like that? Is it appropriate for me to do so? And what should I do, since I broke my word to myself and God. I did an Act of Contrition and heavy praying. THanks

 

[Gerry_Hunter]

The key phrase in a promise to God is : “So help me, God.”

Promises to God are promises made by us, to him, that invoke his aid, and acknowledge the need of it, in keeping them. Otherwise, they tend to smack of the bargaining that F. Scott Fitzgerald’s hero tried in “A Diamond As Bid As the Ritz.”

If your use of alcohol concerns you, it might be an idea to discuss the problem with your priest or spiritual director. That way, if a promise is appropriate, it can be made with a plan to ensure that you are seeking, and open to, the help you need in keeping it.

I haven’t used alcohol myself in years now, and can tell you that I am better off for that, although I had never conformed to the classical image of the alcoholic. It seems to me that there is probably nothing inherently wrong in the making of such a promise to God, as long as it is done to best ensure that it can be kept. And the “kept” part is a longer term thing, not an instant zap-type change.

May you receive much grace and blessing in this endeavour. God IS faithful, and he is pleased to work with us so that we, too, can become more and more faithful to him.

Blessings,

Gerry

 

[francisca]

What’s in God’s Promise, that’s what matter most.

We know and God knows that we fail. So it doesn’t matter very much your failure. On the contrary, this failure from your part should raise your FAITH in HOPE in God’s Promise and decrease your dependency to self-effort : as if you must be “good” first, then God will help you. This is wrong thinking. Jesus died for us even when we still are sinners.

And especially because we fail so many times, we must BELIEVE that God’s Promise does not fail (even when we do fail). So hold on to that Promise that He give you with oath : “That your sins I will remember no more”. Claim these promises God gives us in the Bible. This is OUR CASE with God : that Jesus has died for “my” sins. So in Jesus Name, we claim God’s promises in our personal life.

Learn the bible, and understand God’s faithfulness. Believe it deeply, ponder about it. Praise His Name night and day. Listening to praise and worship songs is one most simple way to understand “why” praising Him. These praise and worship songs often has bible verses in them, that sooner or later will sink in our heart and slowly contribute to our “meditation” (so to say) about “the mystery” of our Faith.

Ask God the Holy Spirit to guide you in your way to the will of God the Father, and always ask everything in the name of Jesus.

God is your Father, you can ask Him anything and you can trust Him fully.

David won his wars because he had a very strong coalition : with God. In our daily ‘wars’ we also need a strong partner : God. And evenmore now He has become Our Father in Jesus Christ. Now God is bound with an oath to give us “inheritance”. This inheritance includes “freedom” from slavery of sins.

Good luck and God bless you.

 

[SusanL]

Here’s another thought. Offer each day/week/month that you won’t drink as a penance for someone in purgatory. When other things fail, this one usually gets me. You feel the discomfort of not getting what you want, this helps us in getting rid of worldly attachments and may be a benefit to a loved one. What would you do for your mom/dad/grandma/grandpa/friend/another soul who might be suffering the purification of purgatory?

Like I said. I feel bad for that soul so it gets me moving. Sue

 

[otm]

I have the feeling there is more to this issue than you are stating.

To begin with, what does it mean to have a “problem” with alcohol? Is there a problem with the amount consumed? Do you have one, and then find you can’t walk away without that “second one”? Is this an issue that in 7 days running, you are having a dring (or more) 6 or 7 out of every 7?

Why would you be upset, if you didn’t dring at all, and then had one, or maybe two drinks? Or was it more?

I fail to see why, if you had one or two drinks, you would need to say an act of contrition? Do you feel that you violated some solemn oath? I would consider a solemn oath one, for example, that spouses take with each other (called the marriage vows); or an oath of celibacy that a priest would take at ordination. Promising God that you won’t take a drink, if you have no problem with alcohol, doesn’t reach that level of solemnity.

There seems to be something more behind the vow; which smells like a drinking problem. If so, you need to get professional help; a 12 step program, or an alcohol recovery program.

If there truly is no drinking problem, then it sounds more like an issue of scrupulosity, for which you need counseling.

I hope this does not seem harsh, but I don’t see another response to your question.
God bless.

 

[dumspirospero]

Thanks everyone…I will incorporate all of your ideas into my daily life.

SusanL:

Here’s another thought. Offer each day/week/month that you won’t drink as a penance for someone in purgatory. When other things fail, this one usually gets me. You feel the discomfort of not getting what you want, this helps us in getting rid of worldly attachments and may be a benefit to a loved one. What would you do for your mom/dad/grandma/grandpa/friend/another soul who might be suffering the purification of purgatory?

Like I said. I feel bad for that soul so it gets me moving. Sue

 

[BLB_Oregon]

We all have broken promises we made to God. They are called baptismal promises, and try as we might, we all fall short, again and again.

Perhaps you are depending too much upon your own strength. Ask God to grant you the grace of making this sacrifice. Ask Him the grace of knowing whether or not you have a drinking problem, and the grace of admitting as much if you do.