Help me in my crisis of faith

[MooCowSteph]

I think my faith has been going downhill for a while, but it’s all come to the bottom of the hill now. I missed Mass on Sunday for the first time I can remember (without a reason). I need to confess it, obviously, but I am not really sorry. I know suffering is part of human existance, but I feel like God never listens to us. My husband and I have been praying for the same things for years, and not big things, not lavish things. All we want is to have my husband’s business do well so we can pay our monthly bills, and good mental health. But we never receive answers. Never receive help. A few weeks ago at church we were singing “God hears the cry of the poor” and I started crying because I felt like No he doesn’t! Not mine anyway! I’ve been dealing with depression on and off for two years, since my daughter was birn, and I just don’t understand why God won’t help me.

I believe everything I ever did. I believe the Catholic Church is the One True Church. I believe that Jesus is God’s son, sent to redeem mankind. But I guess I just don’t care anymore. How terrible is that! :crying: If it wasn’t for desperately wanting my children to grow up in the church, to know and love God, I think I’d be done alltogether. And DH isn’t much help. He didn’t even say anything when I skipped Mass. Just went alone.

Please give me some words of wisdom. Please tell me I’m not the only person to feel this way. Please tell me how you got through periods like this. If anyone has a book to recommend I’d be grateful. I thought about making an appointment with my priest, but I’d probably just cry the whole time and completely embarrass myself.

 

[mercygate]

Are you in proper treatment for your post-partum depression? Aren’t you pregnant now? You have a lot on your plate. Sounds like you could use a good doctor at least as much as you need a priest.

Prayer ascending.

 

[Mirdath]

No, you are not the first person this has happened to. You’re not even the millionth or billionth – believers of all faiths have charged headlong into doubt and despair for as long as belief has existed. We’re only human, we’re fragile little things; we bend, we break. There’s nothing wrong or immoral about that.

Make that appointment. Odds are excellent your priest has seen a good many more people through this despair – and I’d put money on his having been there himself. Don’t be afraid to cry, let it out; it’s his job not just to dispense the sacraments, but to be a shepherd and counselor. Confession isn’t just absolution, it’s free therapy – and come on, don’t tell me you’ve never cried in the confessional I have, and honestly, it felt good – like a great weight had been lifted from me. So don’t be afraid, call your priest, and talk to him.

 

[mercygate]

No, you are not the first person this has happened to. You’re not even the millionth or billionth – believers of all faiths have charged headlong into doubt and despair for as long as belief has existed. We’re only human, we’re fragile little things; we bend, we break. There’s nothing wrong or immoral about that.

Make that appointment. Odds are excellent your priest has seen a good many more people through this despair – and I’d put money on his having been there himself. Don’t be afraid to cry, let it out; it’s his job not just to dispense the sacraments, but to be a shepherd and counselor. Confession isn’t just absolution, it’s free therapy – and come on, don’t tell me you’ve never cried in the confessional I have, and honestly, it felt good – like a great weight had been lifted from me. So don’t be afraid, call your priest, and talk to him.

What a kind, insightful, and encouraging post.

 

[Godlovestrength]

I think my faith has been going downhill for a while, but it’s all come to the bottom of the hill now. I missed Mass on Sunday for the first time I can remember (without a reason). I need to confess it, obviously, but I am not really sorry. I know suffering is part of human existance, but I feel like God never listens to us. My husband and I have been praying for the same things for years, and not big things, not lavish things. All we want is to have my husband’s business do well so we can pay our monthly bills, and good mental health. But we never receive answers. Never receive help. A few weeks ago at church we were singing “God hears the cry of the poor” and I started crying because I felt like No he doesn’t! Not mine anyway! I’ve been dealing with depression on and off for two years, since my daughter was birn, and I just don’t understand why God won’t help me.

I believe everything I ever did. I believe the Catholic Church is the One True Church. I believe that Jesus is God’s son, sent to redeem mankind. But I guess I just don’t care anymore. How terrible is that! :crying: If it wasn’t for desperately wanting my children to grow up in the church, to know and love God, I think I’d be done alltogether. And DH isn’t much help. He didn’t even say anything when I skipped Mass. Just went alone.

Please give me some words of wisdom. Please tell me I’m not the only person to feel this way. Please tell me how you got through periods like this. If anyone has a book to recommend I’d be grateful. I thought about making an appointment with my priest, but I’d probably just cry the whole time and completely embarrass myself.

There is a reading “Seek ye first the kingdome of God” Maybe you are putting too much into praying for the buisiness where maybe God want’s you to give over the buisiness to God, don’t carry it by yourself??? Thank Him for the buisiness and ask Him how He want’s you to run it. Tell Him that you got lost in running it the way you felt not inviting Him in. Apologise to God for wanting to run it your way not His.
Maybe this might help?

Godbless

 

[kage_ar]

Very much agree, go see your Priest.

Reading? The lives of the Saints, or a recent story like **Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust (Paperback)
**by Immaculee Ilibagiza (Author). These help me to see what a blessing it is to LIVE where we do, and that even what we think of poor is so very rich in many parts of the world.

We do need to turn it all over to God, even our jobs and businesses and that is SOOOOOOO easier said than done! When you see those around you who do not appear to be living a faithful life, and they can afford boats and trips and huge cars, and some of us just never seem to get ahead.

Please, see your doc and your Priest and know I’m praying for you!!

Second, a book I’d reccomend is Matthew Kelly’s “The Rythm of Life”.

 

[BeeSweet]

You certainly would not be the first person to blubber in front of a priest! If you want to talk with him then go ahead and make the appointment! He needs to know one of his flock is suffering a crisis of faith. Don’t despair, you’re not the only person who’s suffering this way, Mother Theresa despaired of God’s presence and answering her prayers as well. Maybe it would be a help you to to read the book of her letters recently released (I recommend that not having read it myself though…)?

The depression could be because you’re depleted of nutrition. You just weened your first within the last year if I remember correctly, and with # 2 on the way, you’re bound to be drained! Try very hard to direct your thoughts in a positive motion. Make sure you’re eating the best nutritious food available to you, and take your vitamin and drink plenty of water every day! That may sound like a pat answer, but the best treatment for depression during pregnancy will be holistic in nature.

You’re so blessed Steph! So blessed! When you pray, give thanks to God for what He’s given you. He knows what you need, and you will receive your needs in abundance in His time. Give over your will to His. By being grateful for what you have and giving thanks for it all everyday, you can turn your feelings around.

 

[MooCowSteph]

Are you in proper treatment for your post-partum depression? Aren’t you pregnant now? You have a lot on your plate. Sounds like you could use a good doctor at least as much as you need a priest.

Prayer ascending.

I saw my primary care doctor a while back. She sent me to a therapist. it was a big waste of time. She didn’t want to put me on medication since I was nursing, and now that I am pregnant and I don’t feel comforable taking anything. But I really don’t feel depressed except when I think about all of this. I really think right now it’s my spiritual situation that’s got me so down, but maybe not. Maybe it’s the depression that’s got me feeling this way spiritually.

No, you are not the first person this has happened to. You’re not even the millionth or billionth – believers of all faiths have charged headlong into doubt and despair for as long as belief has existed. We’re only human, we’re fragile little things; we bend, we break. There’s nothing wrong or immoral about that.

Make that appointment. Odds are excellent your priest has seen a good many more people through this despair – and I’d put money on his having been there himself. Don’t be afraid to cry, let it out; it’s his job not just to dispense the sacraments, but to be a shepherd and counselor. Confession isn’t just absolution, it’s free therapy – and come on, don’t tell me you’ve never cried in the confessional I have, and honestly, it felt good – like a great weight had been lifted from me. So don’t be afraid, call your priest, and talk to him.

Yes, I’ve cried in confession many times

There is a reading “Seek ye first the kingdome of God” Maybe you are putting too much into praying for the buisiness where maybe God want’s you to give over the buisiness to God, don’t carry it by yourself??? Thank Him for the buisiness and ask Him how He want’s you to run it. Tell Him that you got lost in running it the way you felt not inviting Him in. Apologise to God for wanting to run it your way not His.
Maybe this might help?

Godbless

You certainly would not be the first person to blubber in front of a priest! If you want to talk with him then go ahead and make the appointment! He needs to know one of his flock is suffering a crisis of faith. Don’t despair, you’re not the only person who’s suffering this way, Mother Theresa despaired of God’s presence and answering her prayers as well. Maybe it would be a help you to to read the book of her letters recently released (I recommend that not having read it myself though…)?

The depression could be because you’re depleted of nutrition. You just weened your first within the last year if I remember correctly, and with # 2 on the way, you’re bound to be drained! Try very hard to direct your thoughts in a positive motion. Make sure you’re eating the best nutritious food available to you, and take your vitamin and drink plenty of water every day! That may sound like a pat answer, but the best treatment for depression during pregnancy will be holistic in nature.

You’re so blessed Steph! So blessed! When you pray, give thanks to God for what He’s given you. He knows what you need, and you will receive your needs in abundance in His time. Give over your will to His. By being grateful for what you have and giving thanks for it all everyday, you can turn your feelings around.

Those are both good posts. Thank you. Part of why I am in such despair is because we really *did *turn our lives over to God. He was in control. I happily quit my job when my daughter came along because I knew God would provide for us, even though my husband was starting out on a new unproven career path. Even as the months went on and there was little income, I didn’t lose faith. I knew I was doing what God wanted for my family, so I would just wait out the storm. Well, it’s still storming. Now I’m wondering if we relied on God too much and not enough on ourselves. I guess it was stupid of me to think that God would provide so that I wouldn’t have to work and leave my daughter. I just started a new job after being home for almost 2 years, and while it’s part time and not really skilled, it does pay well. It’s a blessing, and I repeatedly thank God for the job, frustrating and annoying as the job is.

I guess I know in my gut that I need to make an appointment with my priest. I need to humble myself. It’s all about embarrassment.

Oh, and I am trying to have excellent nutrition and treat my depression with vitamins and such. EPA in omega-3’s, in high quantities, seems to be helping a good bit. You’re right, BeeSweet - nutrition is the key to good mental health when pregnant and /or nursing. Thank you.

 

[Dempsey1919]

Read the story of Job. Despite the terrible situation of his life, he never lost hope or faith.

 

[mercygate]

I saw my primary care doctor a while back. She sent me to a therapist. it was a big waste of time. She didn’t want to put me on medication since I was nursing, and now that I am pregnant and I don’t feel comforable taking anything. But I really don’t feel depressed except when I think about all of this. I really think right now it’s my spiritual situation that’s got me so down, but maybe not. Maybe it’s the depression that’s got me feeling this way spiritually.

Yes, I’ve cried in confession many times

Those are both good posts. Thank you. Part of why I am in such despair is because we really *did *turn our lives over to God. He was in control. I happily quit my job when my daughter came along because I knew God would provide for us, even though my husband was starting out on a new unproven career path. Even as the months went on and there was little income, I didn’t lose faith. I knew I was doing what God wanted for my family, so I would just wait out the storm. Well, it’s still storming. Now I’m wondering if we relied on God too much and not enough on ourselves. I guess it was stupid of me to think that God would provide so that I wouldn’t have to work and leave my daughter. I just started a new job after being home for almost 2 years, and while it’s part time and not really skilled, it does pay well. It’s a blessing, and I repeatedly thank God for the job, frustrating and annoying as the job is.

I guess I know in my gut that I need to make an appointment with my priest. I need to humble myself. It’s all about embarrassment.

Oh, and I am trying to have excellent nutrition and treat my depression with vitamins and such. EPA in omega-3’s, in high quantities, seems to be helping a good bit. You’re right, BeeSweet - nutrition is the key to good mental health when pregnant and /or nursing. Thank you.

You’re a smart, clear-headed girl. Maybe in the upcoming months you will trust the Lord to find you a part time job that can relieve some of the financial stress without draining your family life. Stay flexible. Trusting God means doin’ whatcha gotta do. There is no one single absolute right way. :console: :tissues: Shucks! There’s no icon for chocolate!

 

[BeeSweet]

Oh, and I am trying to have excellent nutrition and treat my depression with vitamins and such. EPA in omega-3’s, in high quantities, seems to be helping a good bit. You’re right, BeeSweet - nutrition is the key to good mental health when pregnant and /or nursing. Thank you.

Steph, there’s a real fun website that was a big help to me during my pregnancy. It’s called BabyFit, you can enter your meals and exercise and run reports on how you’re doing fitness and nutrition-wise. It’s a massive community of mommies. There’s a section of teams for moms with similar interests to chat, and there’s one for Catholic moms there. The site is moderated by fitness and nutrition experts. I have a lot of fun there, I found my best cyber-friends there! You can also post pics of your family if you like. I’m beesweet over there too. I hope to see you there!

 

[Belle10]

No, you are not the first person this has happened to…
…don’t be afraid, call your priest, and talk to him.

A big DITTO to this ENTIRE post (had to cut it down for space).

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time right now. I suggest St. Faustina’s Diary - I know it’s very long, but at least read the part where Jesus revealed to St. Faustina His conversations with despairing and suffering souls (I’ll try to find the references and post them). In the meantime, I copied this from the Divine Mercy Book Club thread – mommyof4 posted it:

Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul.

Jesus: O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy.

-But the soul, deaf even to this appeal, wraps itself in darkness.

Jesus calls out again: My child, listen to the voice of your merciful Father.

• In the soul arises this reply: “For me there is no mercy,” and it falls into greater darkness, a despair which is a foretaste of hell and makes it unable to draw near to God.

Jesus calls to the soul a third time, but the soul remains deaf and blind, hardened and despairing. Then the mercy of God begins to exert itself, and, without any co-operation from the soul, God grants it final grace. If this too is spurned, God will leave the soul in this self-chosen disposition for eternity. This grace emerges from the merciful Heart of Jesus and gives the soul a special light by means of which the soul begins to understand God’s effort; but conversion depends on its own will. The soul knows that this, for her, is final grace and, should it show even a flicker of good will, the mercy of God will accomplish the rest.

My omnipotent mercy is active here. Happy the soul that takes advantage of this grace.

Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.

Soul (as if awaking, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there yet is mercy for me?

Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.

Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.

Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does - that after so many efforts of My love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness.

Soul: O Lord, save me yourself, for I perish. Be my Savior. O Lord, I am unable to say anything more; my pitiful heart is torn asunder; but You, O Lord… Jesus does not let the soul finish but, raising it from the ground, from the depths of its misery, he leads it into the recesses of His Heart where all its sins disappear instantly, consumed by the flames of love.

Jesus: Here, soul, are all the treasures of My Heart. Take everything you need from it.

Soul: O Lord, I am inundated with Your grace. I sense that a new life has entered into me and, above all, I feel Your love in my heart. That is enough for me. O Lord, I will glorify the omnipotence of Your mercy for all eternity. Encouraged by Your goodness, I will confide to You all the sorrows of my heart.

Jesus: Tell me all, My child, hide nothing from Me, because My loving Heart, the Heart of your Best Friend, is listening to you.

Soul: O Lord, now I see all my ingratitude and Your goodness. You were pursuing me with Your grace, while I was frustrating Your benevolence. I see that I deserve the depths of hell for spurning Your graces.

Jesus (interrupting): Do not be absorbed in your misery-you are still too weak to speak of it-but, rather, gaze on My Heart filled with goodness, and be imbued with My sentiments. Strive for meekness and humility; be merciful to others, as I am to you; and, when you feel your strength failing, if you come to the fountain of mercy to fortify your soul, you will not grow weary on your journey.

I’m in a tough spot right now myself. Know you’re not alone (Jesus says over and over and over and over in the Diary “I am with you always.” And Jesus said (above), “Tell me all, My child, hide nothing from Me, because My loving Heart, the Heart of your Best Friend, is listening to you.” :hug1:

 

[Belle10]

OK, the Conversation of the Merciful God with a Suffering Soul is in Notebook 5, para. 1487. If you can’t get access to this, let me know and I’ll type it up and post it here, but I probably won’t get a chance to until tomorrow. Private message me if you want. :hug1:

Sending up a prayer for you and your whole family

 

[grandfather]

I was once tempted to despair. Everything seemed dark. The world is full of evil and getting worse. The reason I did not despair is that I knew by faith that it is forbidden. We are commanded to hope. By the power of will I hoped. I put my hope in God’s love and mercy, trusting He would work all the world’s problems in the end. At the time Saint Maximillian KOlbe was canonized. The pope made a speech and said he was the parton of the century (1900s). If that is true then his life must have some relevance for me who lived through much of that century. Maximillian is also known as the apostle of hope. He lived and died in the darkest time possible. He saw and was subjected to the greatest cruelty and human depravity possible, being martyred in Aushwitz. He was blazing with hope according to many witnesses. He was confident in the midst of darkness that love conquers all. This in combination with the act of my will to hope in God was a big help. I was infused with supernatural hope and confidence. Oe other thing is helpful. Think of all your blessings. Are your children healthy most of the time? Do you know love? Gratitude is a great healer.
Blessings

 

[Preacher_Vern]

Pray and seek his wisdom, turn everything over to him. Don’t worry he will answer your prayer in his time and not yours. But befor you can do all of these, you have to have Christ in your heart, and if you don;t then he will not hear your prayers.
We will keep you in our prayers, May God Bless You and the Family.

 

[Godlovestrength]

and if you don;t then he will not hear your prayers.
.

Sorry but this is wrong please don’t say that God can’t or wont hear He has the best hearing of anyone. What you probablyment is that He wont listen to you, but this is wrong also God is a God of Love and of the greatest Mercy. Steff keep on going God hears all there is to be said He even knew what any person thought before time was.

Godbless.

 

[mercygate]

Pray and seek his wisdom, turn everything over to him. Don’t worry he will answer your prayer in his time and not yours. But befor you can do all of these, you have to have Christ in your heart, and if you don;t then he will not hear your prayers.
We will keep you in our prayers, May God Bless You and the Family.

Welcome to the Forums, Preacher. I see this is only your third post. MooCowSteph is a well-known poster here, and I promise that if anybody has “Christ in her heart” it is she.

Though your motives are certainly good, you come of as somewhat condescending. Moreover, God hears the honest prayers even of those who know Him not and of those whose motives are imperfect, as the New Testament amply attests.

 

[MooCowSteph]

Thank you all for your kind and helpful words. I got out of the house today to visit a good friend and it helped a bit to put everything in perspecctive. DH and I are also going to Mass seperately tomorrow because I really need to be able to pray and pay attention (which is hard to do with an almost 2 year old!)

 

[mercygate]

Thank you all for your kind and helpful words. I got out of the house today to visit a good friend and it helped a bit to put everything in perspecctive. DH and I are also going to Mass seperately tomorrow because I really need to be able to pray and pay attention (which is hard to do with an almost 2 year old!)

Glad to hear it. Yup. Mass with a toddler is no feast of contemplative devotion. It’s all about “management”. That is the proving ground of the saints. It’s not us old fogeys, taken up in our swoons of devotion who are the saints. It’s you young parents who come to Mass and spend the whole time wrangling the little 'uns! Your husband is a saint to do this for you, of course. As you know.

 

[TOP]

Thank you all for your kind and helpful words. I got out of the house today to visit a good friend and it helped a bit to put everything in perspecctive. DH and I are also going to Mass seperately tomorrow because I really need to be able to pray and pay attention (which is hard to do with an almost 2 year old!)

My twins are 6 now. We came back to the Church when they were 4 and some days I thought the devil himself was testing me. Hang in there. They will be like little angels before you know it. Tim