HELP ME! OCD Hoarder

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Does anyone know the best way to work with a person who compulsively collects useless junk?
I am trying to help a close relative of mine to empty 3 barns of the most useless junk imaginable. The home and barns are sold and now the junk must go.
I rented a 22’ X 8’ dumpster for tomorrow because the barn owner didn’t think it was worth getting! WRONG! The trick is to get that person to let go of the junk. Is there a good way to do this without getting spitting mad at each other?
The junk must go! Help Please!
 
If it is outright “garbage” throw it out. If they want to disagree try appealing to their common sense - directly ask “What are you going to do with this? Of what use is it?” If there are items that are salvageable or in any way useful try talking them into donating to a local charity, goodwill, or salvation army. Let them know they can unburden themselves and you from this stuff while helping someone less fortunate. If all else fails and they wont listen . . . . stuff that person in a closet, throw everything out, and let them out when the work is done. 😃 Tee hee - just kidding. Good Luck!
 
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crobynb:
If it is outright “garbage” throw it out. If they want to disagree try appealing to their common sense - directly ask “What are you going to do with this? Of what use is it?” If there are items that are salvageable or in any way useful try talking them into donating to a local charity, goodwill, or salvation army. Let them know they can unburden themselves and you from this stuff while helping someone less fortunate. If all else fails and they wont listen . . . . stuff that person in a closet, throw everything out, and let them out when the work is done. 😃 Tee hee - just kidding. Good Luck!
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Thank you. This is all good advice. The problem is that I must negotiate one item at a time with this person. There are 3 whole BIG barns full of junk! The dumpster rental is for $150 for 5 days. At that rate the rental cost of dumpster will far exceed my budget. Option 2 - stuff OCD Hoarder in closet and lock door sounds much easier but this isn’t legal. 😦
 
This person you speak of has an illness. OCD is an illness.

Do they realize this? Are they being treated for this?

If they are, appeal to their better judgement in regards to that.

“Look friend, we both know that this is going to be VERY hard for you. You know you do not have space for all this stuff. Please let me take care of this for you. It will only be difficult and possibly extremely stressfull for you.”

If this person doesn’t realize their illness or if they are not being treated for this- I’m not sure what you can do. You might try the above scenerio, but I’m wondering that if they deny they have a problem, what they might think of you making such seemingly patronizing comments.

good luck to you regardless.
 
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Shiann:
This person you speak of has an illness. OCD is an illness.

Do they realize this? Are they being treated for this?

If they are, appeal to their better judgement in regards to that.

“Look friend, we both know that this is going to be VERY hard for you. You know you do not have space for all this stuff. Please let me take care of this for you. It will only be difficult and possibly extremely stressfull for you.”

If this person doesn’t realize their illness or if they are not being treated for this- I’m not sure what you can do. You might try the above scenerio, but I’m wondering that if they deny they have a problem, what they might think of you making such seemingly patronizing comments.

good luck to you regardless.
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Unfortunately the person is not being treated. The spouse to this person has managed to push all of the junk out of the house and into the barns for the past 30+ years. This is how they live peacefully together. At this point there is no time for medical treatment. The barns must be emptied now. Before the dumpster is delivered tomorrow someone must sit down and say exactly what you have suggested.
“Look friend, we both know that this is going to be VERY hard for you. You know you do not have space for all this stuff. Please let me take care of this for you. It will only be difficult and possibly extremely stressfull for you.”
There will be 6 other adults there to help out.
 
Set a rule: if the stuff hasn’t been touched or used in say…1 year, it goes. Agree on this and stick to it, with maybe a bit of leeway for sentimental stuff. Anything good, try to list on craigslist.com for sale, everything else pitch. Just be brutal.

Alternatively, just light the barns on fire and shoot, there goes everything (ok, I’m kidding with that one)

Eamon
 
For an OCD/Hording disorder there is great anxiety involved in getting rid of things. It is best if they partisapate in the clean-up (actually that is a part of the theraputic process, witch this person NEEDS ASAP). If this is truely an OCD getting rif of all this stuff will be an extremely traumatic event for her. Think about how you felt last time someone threw out some things that were extremely important to you, this is how she honestly feels towards everything there. If you can put a hold on the dumpster untill she can get some real treatment is would be best as OCD/Hording is very treatable.
 
Good advice from Shemele.
My brother had to help my mom clean out her house. She had five couches in the living room, for starters.
She had six foot high stacks of magazines, going back 30 years, she was going to go through and clip for good articles someday.
They had some rip roaring arguments over it, and she didn’t speak to my SIL for months after.

Maybe if there’s not time for treatment, you might let natural consequences do the work. It’s the problem of the person who sold the property, he needs to empty the barns, let the buyer tell him that.
Another idea is to have a relative take the person for an outing until the work is done, and deal with the anger in treatment.
 
Vicki59,
Actually, five couches and stacks of magazines sound pretty good…possibly worthy of donating to someone? I am talking old splitting broom and shovel handles, piles and piles of rotting scrap wooden planks, rusty metal things, pipes, rotting falling apart window sashes complete with broken glass, old used kitchen counters, 100 year old bricks and worse.

Step one: Be there tomorrow when the dumpster is deposited. Make sure the delivery man isn’t frightened away by a certain somebody.
 
Is the stuff usable, if it is open up a “fee yardsale” put all the usable stuff in one barn, throwing out all the junk on the way. Someone else with this same pack Rat tendency will come along and stock up. You could help convince the person my making a $1 pile and tell them you will go out the movies or ice cream or something with the dinero

Any time we need to get rid of something we put it out at teh curb because it is common knowledge that in my neighborhood a lot of people go “dumpster diving” and rescue everything. We often put really good stuff out there, making sure it is taken before the trash collecters come. We put my daughter’s old mattress out there because we didnt’ have a way to haul it for charity. Thank God a lady came who told us that her church was doing a Mattress drive for a homeless shelter. I thanked God that day. We also have mexicans who apparently collect the stuff to sell. It works out really well.

If you advertize a “Free Flea Market” in the paper, believe me, people will come.

God Bless you, my husband’s parents went through this with my Mother in Law’s mom. It was misery, then they had to do it again ten yrs later, after she died.
 
I was going to suggest that someone take the individual for a small trip, something special. Explain what you need to do and why and that you want to help the person. Ask if there is anywhere in this area that you have always wanted to go, where would it be, and so and so will take you there and have a nice relaxing time, If the person is extrememly far gone, you might want to call a doctor and ask for advice. If this individual starts acting very unusual take precautions. It could cause them to have an episode of mental breakdown. The law on this is varies by state, but if the person seems to become a danger to either him or herself or anyone else, they can be committed to a mental health facility. I know it sounds horrible but be prepared that this could be a possibility when the person is faced with getting rid of their “stuff” You want to keep the person and everyone else safe. Often times people with OCD develop this disorder as a way to control their mental illness or emotional disorder, taking it away or disturbing it is like a person on a liferaft after a ship wreck in shark infested waters being forced to give up their liferaft and swim to shore 30 miles away. You are literally taking away this person’s crutch in life. I know you dont’ have alot of time but it might be helpful for you to check out a NAMI website. I will try to find a link for you.
 
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I tend to hoard, but my husband is like Adrian Monk and he’s a compulsive un-clutterer. It’s a balance.
 
Another poster suggested that obsessive compulsive hoarding is easy to cure. Respectfully, I have to disagree.

The sufferer has no idea that there is a problem and will fight tooth and nail to protect the things that only he can properly care for. Every shread of ‘worthless junk’ is an actual part of the sufferer.

A neighbor’s house was so bad, the health department, fire department and public works (garbage) worked several days to remediate the problem. The police dragged him to a police car to sit handcuffed and sobbing while the city crews filled a waiting stream of garbage trucks, with the home’s contents. The outside of the home looked fine, but the inside was packed to the rafters. He has re-filled the home and the city will again have to repeat the process. There appears to be no end in sight. To him, everybody else is the problem.

I don’t know what you can do. It will be a very upsetting time and there may be ill feelings for years to come. I would recommend some help from the health department. Good luck and you’ll be in my prayers.
 
I stand by what I said, it is very treatable, there are medications that help the symptoms and cognitive therapy that can help the people lead a more normal life. The key (as in any mental health issue) is that the person needs to want the therapy.
 
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