Help me solve my issue with my protestant boyfriend

[rwoehmke]

There is also a difference of honor we give to these saints that is not the same as we give to God. We worship God, we honor the memory and venerate the lives of those who loved God. They are our heros, and since we believe that they live in Christ right now in heaven we ask that they pray for us. The prayers of those in heaven are benefical for us. The different forms of honor are:

latria: the honor due to God alone.

dulia: the honor due to human creatures worthy of respect.

hyperdulia: the honor due to Mary as God’s greatest creation and our Queen Mother.

To an outside observer these three levels of honoring or venerating God and the saints may look exactly alike. Unless one knows the thoughts and intention of the one praying it is absolutely impossible to know what is taking place. It is all in the intention and not the actions and words being used. The highest form of worship for God is the holy sacrifice of the Mass. Non-Catholics don’t have this and hence have difficulty discerning what exactly is going on. They are handicapped by having only a single level of worship or praise.

Does your boy friend have any difficulty when he bows to or praises his parents? No probably not because he knows in his own mind what his intention is. Yeah life would be easier with someone else more at one mind with you.

 

[palmas85]

Hi my name is Paola and I’m catholic, my boyfriends name is Orlando and he’s Protestant. lately we have been having fights about my catholic practices, in specific: why pray the ave maria?. in catholicism its been a long tradition to pray it but i do not know how to explain to my boyfriend why do catholics pray it and why is it necessary. i have tried to convince him that this is a practice that his religion dislikes and that catholics do that he will just have to shut it (stop criticizing) and respect it cause i (nor he) cant do anything about it.
he thinks that catholics commit sin for praying to someone who is not God.

Unfortunately, this type of situation often arises when one crosses religious lines to marry. I doubt that he will ever come around to accept Marian prayers and devotions because to him and other protestants they are sacrilegious at best and outright blasphemy at worst.

I say move on. Sounds hard but I think in the long run, if you are both committed to your respective faiths, it will be a lot better.

 

[PGZC]

and the plot thickens
heres the interesting catch to all of this issue:shrug:, if his mother would be out of the picture none of this would of happened, his dad is quite more understanding than her:shrug:. she is the one manipulating him so he can manipulate me so it can look as if its coming from him and not her

 

[jonpd]

and the plot thickens
heres the interesting catch to all of this issue:shrug:, if his mother would be out of the picture none of this would of happened, his dad is quite more understanding than her:shrug:. she is the one manipulating him so he can manipulate me so it can look as if its coming from him and not her

Sounds like this is a bigger issue than a difference over religious beliefs and apologetics will not solve this one.

 

[pro_multis]

Myabe you should consider breaking fellowship with this person. Sounds like a lot of issues.

 

[JohnAlexander]

he thinks that catholics commit sin for praying to someone who is not God.

Protestants have a different idea as to what prayer means than Catholics.

One form of prayer is worship, in that sense we only worship God (the Father, Son or Holy Spirit)

Prayer in the sense of asking for something is also very common. Catholics believe that Holy Mary and the Saints are in heaven with God. The idea is that they can help our cause.

A (poor) analogy would be if you are a guilty of some crime and are looking for a presidential pardon. Imagine what kind of clout you would have if you knew the President’s mother and could get her to put in a good word for you. It’s far more likely that the pardon will be coming your way than if you were just an ordinary person with no contacts.

Anyone with several children will understand. If two of my children were to ask me for something for my third child I would be far more inclined to do it. I don’t know why it never occurs to them to gang up on me that way.

This actually gets a lot more complicated than it first appears because if having friends in high places helps your cause then that would mean God is unfair.

I believe what is really going on is that in talking with saints, which is what Catholics mean when they say praying to saints, we benefit. In the case of my children for example if they were to ask me for something for their brother or sister it helps them be better people. It forms a bond between them, it fosters love between them. God wants us to love one another. Not for some arbitrary reason, it is because we are designed that way. When we act in the way we are designed, we benefit.

Also something PGZC should seriously consider is the wisdom of dating a non Catholic. If you aren’t planning on getting married then what is the point of dating this person? If you know you won’t marry him then you know you will eventually break up with him. If you know you will break up with him you might as well do it now rather than later.

If you think you might marry this person then seriously consider what will happen to your children. Will he be willing to raise them Catholic? Does he know that you can’t use birth control or kill any “unwanted” babies? Will he interfere with you going to Church on Sundays & holy days? He will have ways to sabotage you.

Is he a good person who is honestly seeking the truth? If so then pray for him. Pray to the Holy Spirit like you have never prayed before. It works. My wife was not Catholic when I was dating her. I prayed for her conversion and it worked. I would not have married her otherwise. You can also try talking to some saints, perhaps one of them will talk to your boyfriend and knock some sense into him.

If you take your faith seriously then marrying a non Catholic would be a really big mistake. If you are a lukewarm Catholic then religion won’t be a problem.

 

[Dorothy]

Surely your boyfriend asks others to pray for him at times? Well Catholics do that too, and we also ask those members of the Body of Christ who have gone before us to pray for us as well. We are family! And Mary also said “from henceforth all generations will call me blessed.”

I can only suggest that you seriously consider whether you should be marrying someone who does not respect your faith. That should be a major issue for you and your family to be.

 

[I_Fortuna]

Do you really want to continue in a romantic relationship which may lead to marriage with a person who insults your most deeply held and cherished beliefs, and your own Catholic identity?

I have to agree here. Unless one of you reliquishes control this may be a point of contention far into the future. If you are o.k. with this, fine. Even before I converted 3 years ago, my spouse never chided me or criticized my beliefs. He accepted me just as I am and religon was something we never argued about. If I were you, I would continue to pray so that the scales all from his eyes and he can at least see the church’s point of view without becoming argumentative with you.

I wish you the best, God Bless.

 

[Wired]

Easiest solution? Get a Catholic boyfriend. Date people whom you can marry without conflict. You wouldn’t want to marry and raise children with a hostile spouse. Date good Catholics so you can marry Mr. Right when he comes along instead of wasting time with someone who freaks about a Hail Mary.

 

[maurin]

Hi my name is Paola and I’m catholic, my boyfriends name is Orlando and he’s Protestant. lately we have been having fights about my catholic practices, in specific: why pray the ave maria?. in catholicism its been a long tradition to pray it but i do not know how to explain to my boyfriend why do catholics pray it and why is it necessary. i have tried to convince him that this is a practice that his religion dislikes and that catholics do that he will just have to shut it (stop criticizing) and respect it cause i (nor he) cant do anything about it.
he thinks that catholics commit sin for praying to someone who is not God.

Paola,

why does your boyfriend have a problem with praying the Scriptures? the only line in the prayer that does not come directly from Scripture is: “pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.” Has he not read Luke?

 

[Metamorphoo]

PGZC, there is more at stake here than who is right about whether or not we should ask saints to pray or interceed for us. … And to any devout young man or woman who finds him/herself arguing with a boyfriend or girlfriend about something as crucial as religion, I would say, “Whoa!” “Caution!” This relationship seems to have some serious flaws in its very foundation.

Although I am not Roman Catholic, I would heartily agree with the above statements. I think it is very important for a couple to share the same core beliefs … and even more so if those beliefs are extremely important to them.

The NT tells us, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” Although the biblical context is addressing relationships between a Christian and a non-Christian, I think the same principle is applicable between two Christians with widely divergent beliefs/religious practices. I just don’t think entering a romantic relationship with someone whose Christian faith differs greatly from your own is a wise idea.

You may not be thinking of marriage at this point, but any romantic relationship has the potential to go down that road. Major spiritual differeneces can certainly put a lot of strain on a relationship. It also can cause a lot of heartache down the line when a couple realizes that they can’t agree on where/how to worship as a couple … or in what faith to rear their children. How do you have a united family spiritually when you can’t agree on fundamental issues?

May God give you and your boyfriend His wisdom in what to do about your relationship.

 

[geovet]

My recent experience with my daughter and her protestant boyfriend was a family disaster. She ended up leaving the faith over him. Months later he thankfuly broke the relation. Thing are finally getting back to normal. She returned to church for the first time in 8 months.

Like others had said, do not be unequally yoked. It is not good for marriage and children. It may work sometimes but not worth the trouble in most case. My opinion. Find one that God can bless in marriage and children. Prayers for you.

 

[PGZC]

My recent experience with my daughter and her protestant boyfriend was a family disaster. She ended up leaving the faith over him. Months later he thankfuly broke the relation. Thing are finally getting back to normal. She returned to church for the first time in 8 months.

Like others had said, do not be unequally yoked. It is not good for marriage and children. It may work sometimes but not worth the trouble in most case. My opinion. Find one that God can bless in marriage and children. Prayers for you.

this is exactly what im trying to prevent i totally understand her.
thanks 4 the prayers:thumbsup:

 

[PGZC]

thank you all for your prayers, opinions, and help. i’m sad and bit relieved to announce that i ended my relationship, were just friends now.

 

[AnneElliot]

thank you all for your prayers, opinions, and help. i’m sad and bit relieved to announce that i ended my relationship, were just friends now.

That’s probably the best solution.

 

[PGZC]

That’s probably the best solution.

yes it is, i miss himlike it usually happens when people break up :sad_bye: but at least my parents and God :console:know that now i’m at peace and i have made a valiant and mature decision