HELP my daughter wants to move out

[beth42862]

Hello all,
My daughter informed me today that she wants to move out and into her boyfriends families house.She is 18. She knows her faith and attends mass and knows Gods commandments.She tried to convince me today that she knows right from wrong,and that this is only because she wants to be more independant.
ok understand,this argument of hers is not fooling me. I know she is making a very immature decision.
All I am asking is for any of you to help me with the words to say to her.I offered the mass today for this intention.
Please help me and thanks.
Beth

 

[searching04]

First question is why does she want to move out, really? If it is for independence, she can get a job, rent an apartment, and be independent. Is she still in school or graduated from HS? If she has graduated, at 18 all you can (legally) do is say, “I love you, but I won’t support you.” If she thinks she is old enough to go do that, then she needs to be on her own to do it.

If it is a matter of independence, there are a lot of things she can do while living at home and still lbe independent.

 

[beth42862]

exactly.She has a job and she has it good here.I really think its this whole boyfriend thing.And so i am going to have to say “I love you but I do not support this decision.”

 

[SMHW]

Yes. Just make sure that your “lack of support” includes the financial aspect as well as the idea aspect.

But if she does move out, be prepared for her to change her mind and want to come back home. At that point it is fair to tell her that there are conditions she has to meet if she comes home.

 

[nodito]

What do her boyfriend’s parents say about all this?

 

[ArkansasMom]

Beth, you and I have to talk! Check out my thread under “Parenting”, then “Teen Premarital Sex.” We are experiencing very similar situations with very similar children, I think! Maybe I can help, we are in the middle of all of this right now. I’m running out the door right now, but I will post again as soon as I can.

A friend gave me great advice last weekend. Read in Matthew @ Peter walking out of the boat toward Jesus and keeping his eyes on the Lord so he would not sink. Note that Jesus asked him to look at him, watch him, not to look at the storm around him . . . the storm DID NOT end until they were both in the boat. Keep your eyes on HIM, have faith, and buckle down for the ride. We have been on this journey for five months and are holding on by a thread . . . but we are holding on.

I’ll come back soon, but check out the posts, I’ve gotten some phenomenal advice from very faithful folks . . .