HELP! Sexual Addictions

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SnakeMauler said:
Put yourself in solitary confinement in your room and just sit there. Have a friend watch you so you can’t move. Eventually you’ll go into a sex detox and not feel the urges anymore. Sounds awkward but its the only way to do it.
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Okay two things, first this seems a bit extreme and not practical. Second I don’t think it would really work.
 
mollydolly said:
Things are going much better thank you
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I am glad to hear things are going better for you 🙂

Please do not put yourself in solitary confinement or feel you need to experience any kind of punishment for feelings you have. Your attractions are your attractions and you are not doing something on purpose or something that warrants punishment!

If you have a strong faith in God maybe just take some time to self reflect. Lay down alone and just pray… try to focus and let your faith lead you.
People will give you a lot of advice but its always going to come from their beliefs …
just like I wont give you MY advice because my faith is not the same as yours -
your faith and relationship to God belong to YOU! Spirituality is shared but its also very personal…
So just try to focus on that and let God lead you- open yourself up and try to really feel the guidance from with in-
this may sound very strange … 🙂 But you truly have to find a way to make peace with yourself in a way that works for you - You don’t want to spend your whole life at war with yourself it will eventually start to tear you apart.

If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me - I’d be happy to listen and not try to push you in any direction.
its hard being in high school and figuring these things out - but when you learn how to work through it and reason on your own it becomes easier and easier as you get older.

all my best
you are in my thoughts
 
cathoichelp said:
I am glad to hear things are going better for you 🙂

Please do not put yourself in solitary confinement or feel you need to experience any kind of punishment for feelings you have. Your attractions are your attractions and you are not doing something on purpose or something that warrants punishment!

If you have a strong faith in God maybe just take some time to self reflect. Lay down alone and just pray… try to focus and let your faith lead you.
People will give you a lot of advice but its always going to come from their beliefs …
just like I wont give you MY advice because my faith is not the same as yours -
your faith and relationship to God belong to YOU! Spirituality is shared but its also very personal…
So just try to focus on that and let God lead you- open yourself up and try to really feel the guidance from with in-
this may sound very strange … 🙂 But you truly have to find a way to make peace with yourself in a way that works for you - You don’t want to spend your whole life at war with yourself it will eventually start to tear you apart.

If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me - I’d be happy to listen and not try to push you in any direction.
its hard being in high school and figuring these things out - but when you learn how to work through it and reason on your own it becomes easier and easier as you get older.

all my best
you are in my thoughts
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Nicely put. And very true. 👍
 
mollydolly said:
Actually I do see a psychiatrist and a psychologist… One for medication and one to talk to everyother week or so. It’s helpful, but without spiritual support I’ve not been making progress. It’s amazing how much progress I’ve made in the past few days.
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mollydolly,

You are wise in acknowledging your struggle and asking for help. The Lenten season is a time for reflection in our faith. Since you go to Sunday Mass, there should be information in the parish bulletin / newsletter announcing programs or ministry to provide spiritual help to people in your situation and age group. That is, if you have not considered a parish-based youth assistance program in this regard.

If you feel that therapy from your psychiatrist and psychologist is lacking, you can go to this link: Catholic Therapists, a site that should be able to give you an option or referral in your area.

You have received a lot of good advice in this thread that you opened. Just be careful of taking advice from those whose leanings are not consistent with teachings of the Church that you belong. Homosexuality, which is a condition that young people feeling some same sex attraction desires do not necessarily have, pre-occupation with pornography leading to masturbation, etc., are personal behavior that the secular world pushes on the young as though they are good and should be cultivated. They are not. If unchecked, they become crutches and can be serious distractions to a normal and balanced life.

You are new to this forum, basing on your number of posts and join date early this month. It may not be evident to you yet that this forum attracts non-Catholics and ex-Catholics, who are clearly promoting subjective values against Catholic beliefs in an open or not so open manner. It would be different if they were discussing issues that do not have any impact on your spiritual and moral life, then there would be no problem in taking their advice.

The heavy rains kept me from attending the morning Sunday Mass, but I intend to catch the evening mass later. My prayers will include that you receive the grace of discernment now and as you take your place in the adult world.

Peace and blessings.
,
 
InSearchofGrace said:
mollydolly,
Just be careful of taking advice from those whose leanings are not consistent with teachings of the Church that you belong.*** Homosexuality, which is a condition that young people feeling some same sex attraction desires do not necessarily have, pre-occupation with pornography leading to masturbation, etc., are personal behavior that the secular world pushes on the young as though they are good and should be cultivated.***

You are new to this forum, basing on your number of posts and join date early this month. It may not be evident to you yet that this forum attracts non-Catholics and ex-Catholics, who are clearly promoting subjective values against Catholic beliefs in an open or not so open manner. It would be different if they were discussing issues that do not have any impact on your spiritual and moral life, then there would be no problem in taking their advice.
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Excellent points.
Molly, InSearchofGrace is an excellent source of information regarding same-sex attaction and the illusion of that while one’s sexuality is being shaped. In addition to the advice she has given you, I encourage you to search her previous posts on which she refers to some of her reading in the field. Even those of us not adolescents do (mostly) remember vividly the intense sexual feelings/urges of that time period, the temptations (internal and external), that accompany that. When any of us suffer any influence or temptation, it is easy to assume/feel that we are not in control, and “must” succumb. Secondarily, the current popular culture spreads the myth that temptation and temporary attraction = “inborn” sexuality, which of course is not true. Sexuality takes awhile to work itself out, and for many (not all) people, that includes the adolescent years.

The most important thing is that you are a young woman of faith, who has resources to call upon. 🙂 I will also pray for you at my late evening Mass tonight.
God bless,
Elizabeth
 
Labarum said:
I am sorry you have me confused. What would be a medical cause for alarm?

Masturbation is not good once or 1000 times and should be avoided, not excused and not encouraged.

Hard said than done I know but that’s the struggle we all face.
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Masturbating to excess (to the exclusion of other, normal activities such as eating, socializing, etc.) might be considered medical cause for alarm, or at least concern.
 
Shredderbeam said:
Masturbating to excess (to the exclusion of other, normal activities such as eating, socializing, etc.) might be considered medical cause for alarm, or at least concern.
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From a sociological/medical standpoint excessive masturbation would be cause for alarm but masturbating whether it is one occasion or frequently is cause for alarm from a salvation/ spiritual standpoint. I reiterate what the Catholic Church teaches on this matter.

CCC 2396 “Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity are masturbation, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices”.

CCC 2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”
 
Labarum said:
From a sociological/medical standpoint excessive masturbation would be cause for alarm but masturbating whether it is one occasion or frequently is cause for alarm from a salvation/ spiritual standpoint. I reiterate what the Catholic Church teaches on this matter.

CCC 2396 “Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity are masturbation, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices”.

CCC 2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”
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You have no quarrel there.
 
I can help you. I am a recovered sexual addict. I’ve been through it and have beaten it. There are many emotions and battles that are going on in you that I am familiar with. It isn’t easy, but it can be done.

If you’d like some help, email me at gmensteve@yahoo.com and I can help you through this. I have made it my goal to help others going through what I did.
 
phoooiee said:
I am assuming you are a woman.

I have some personal experience with this.

Try praying that God will show you the ways in which you have not been loving yourself as you should, and that he will help you to accept the parts of yourself that are the most difficult to accept.
When I did this, I no longer felt the need to “love” someone like myself (another woman).
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This could very well be the answer to the mystery of homosexuality.
 
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