Help--tackle football parents

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lewlo

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My 8 year-old son wanted to sign up for tackle football this year. He played flag last year. Our policy is always to finish any sporting season that you start, then if you don’t want to play again it’s your choice. I told him before the season that if he wanted to play tackle football he wouldn’t be able to cry. And, as I suspected, there has been no coddling the kids.

But, I am seriously fearful for his safety. He is getting thrown around like a rag doll. He is crying on the field, not just from the pain, but from anger and humiliation. He has not asked to quit, but I can’t sleep because I keep thinking about him getting paralyzed. He weighs 58 lbs. I think the smallest on the team, or close. Many of the kids weigh well over 100 lbs. He said on the way home from a scrimmage tonight “I didn’t add anything to the team, the coach might as well put me as scorekeeper.” He can’t even tackle.

He took such a hit from the side tonight the dads on the other team were went nuts over the hit. The other night we had to ice his arm down. He is only 8. What have I done? Please, has anyone experienced this?

Lori
 
lewlo,

If your son is truly being beaten around due to being clearly out-weighed by the other players, your “no quitting” policy shouldn’t apply in this case.

An analogy here could be if your son wanted to jump off the diving board at a swimming pool with the understanding that if he did it, he would have to follow through with it, and then swim to safety. What if he was a poor swimmer or became disoriented? Would it be fair to say you would extend a hand if not even dive in to aid him?

He chose to dive into tackle football and the “current is a bit swifter than he/you imagined” and is at risk. And as a parent, you have a right (and a duty) to be able to use your better judgement and override your policy and/or your son’s steadfastness. (I give him credit for sticking it out!). The fact that you posted for advice puts you on the right track.

There is a time to have him perservere and stick to it. It is a great character builder for him. But if both you and him are scared/miserable with a significant increase in the risk of serious injury (because he is out-weighed), offer him the chance to graciously part with the team. Stress that he is not quitting due to lack of effort, he is leaving until he gains some weight and can safely play and be productive. Then, if another outlet (back to flag football or other sport that he can safely play at his weight) can be tapped, use that to build up his confidence…and give him a fighting chance to show you that he is not a quitter.

God Bless

SG257
 
I agree. I think there is a difference between quitting and realizing that you are in a situation that you are unequiped for. I don’t think it would be worth getting seriously hurt just to prove a point.

Arlene
 
Poor little guy! Does he have a passion for football? If not, (or even if so) perhaps it may be a good idea to turn this into a lesson of spirituality. An acquiring of the habit of questioning … “Is this what God wants me to do?” Of examining ourselves for our natural strentghs, weaknesses and talents, and how is God calling me to use them. In sports, I gently encourage my children to pursue sports that they would be good at according to thier natural build and personalities. My son is very big. He is pretty terrible at rock climbing, but he excels in football. My daughter is exceptionally coordinated, but is easily bored. She hated dance, but loves gymnastics (a little faster paced).

As for quitting. I do understand the concept of finishing what you start and I agree. But we have to be careful of being to rigid in applying principles. What may be appropriate in one situation, may not be in another. Trust your mother instincts.

God bless!
 
One more thing, if he really doesn’t want to quit, and you decide it would be best for him to finish out the season, then perhaps he may enjoy the movie “RUDY.” You can get it at Blockbuster, but it is worth buying. An exceptional and inspiring movie of a boy who was very small with big football dreams. It is a true story and a great movie from a Catholic perspective. I can’t watch it without crying from joy and awe of what God can do in the life of an individual willing to suffer for his goal. In the bonus scenes there is an awesome interview with the real Rudy. My son is seven and along with Return of the Titans, it’s one of his favorites.

God bless!
 
I have several sons who have competed in tackle football over the last 12 years. I would be a little concerned about the weight difference between him and the other boys. Kids get hurt playing football when there are large differences in player size. The leagues that my sons competed in at the grade school level had weight restrictions. Players over a certain weight were not allowed to carry the ball. In addition, there was a maximum weight for the players. Does your son’s league have such rules?

Alan
 
I second alan’s post above - the coach and league organizers are there to make sure that the kids are safe and that they have fun. We played Y league football until the end (son aged out) - and the league was very careful about the kids, especially the younger kids - when they hit age 12 or so, things became “tougher”.

Tackle football has been wonderful for our son, he now plays on the 9th grade team at school. Yep, there were lots of bruises - but, the life lessons have been great. (We also had the no quitting policy).
 
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lewlo:
My 8 year-old son wanted to sign up for tackle football this year. He played flag last year. Our policy is always to finish any sporting season that you start, then if you don’t want to play again it’s your choice. I told him before the season that if he wanted to play tackle football he wouldn’t be able to cry. And, as I suspected, there has been no coddling the kids.

But, I am seriously fearful for his safety. He is getting thrown around like a rag doll. He is crying on the field, not just from the pain, but from anger and humiliation. He has not asked to quit, but I can’t sleep because I keep thinking about him getting paralyzed. He weighs 58 lbs. I think the smallest on the team, or close. Many of the kids weigh well over 100 lbs. He said on the way home from a scrimmage tonight “I didn’t add anything to the team, the coach might as well put me as scorekeeper.” He can’t even tackle.

He took such a hit from the side tonight the dads on the other team were went nuts over the hit. The other night we had to ice his arm down. He is only 8. What have I done? Please, has anyone experienced this?

Lori
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Hi, Lori.

First off, let me say that I think the no quit rule is a very good rule to have. My boys played mostly baseball, but the rule applied - once you join the team, you stick it out until the end of the season. Basically the same as yours.

That having been said, I can empathise with your son. The one and only season I played full contact football when I was a kid, I was in the same predicament as your son. I was smaller and weaker than the other kids and got pounded. I was miserable until I got hurt and didn’t have to play anymore. That was the best injury I have ever had! My parents didn’t have a no quit rule, but because all my friends were playing, I couldn’t just quit.

In your son’s case, if he is in danger of physical harm above and beyond the normal amount associated with football, you might want to pull him from the team. You don’t have a rule about that, so no rule violations occur! When he gets older and bigger, if he wants to try again, let him.

I hope things work out for you and your son.

Peace

Tim
 
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lewlo:
My 8 year-old son wanted to sign up for tackle football this year. He played flag last year. Our policy is always to finish any sporting season that you start, then if you don’t want to play again it’s your choice. I told him before the season that if he wanted to play tackle football he wouldn’t be able to cry. And, as I suspected, there has been no coddling the kids.

But, I am seriously fearful for his safety. He is getting thrown around like a rag doll. He is crying on the field, not just from the pain, but from anger and humiliation. He has not asked to quit, but I can’t sleep because I keep thinking about him getting paralyzed. He weighs 58 lbs. I think the smallest on the team, or close. Many of the kids weigh well over 100 lbs. He said on the way home from a scrimmage tonight “I didn’t add anything to the team, the coach might as well put me as scorekeeper.” He can’t even tackle.

He took such a hit from the side tonight the dads on the other team were went nuts over the hit. The other night we had to ice his arm down. He is only 8. What have I done? Please, has anyone experienced this?

Lori
Click to expand...
Hello Lori. Firstly, I admire your little guys guts.

Secondly, I am surprised that there is such a weight disparity. If weight is an issue usually boys are allowed to move up or down in age group. Have you asked about this?

Are you sure the other boys weigh 100 lbs or does it seem this way to you because your son is being hit?

You say this is your first year? Have you seen kids football before?

My guess is that you are just seeing being a good and concerned mom. I have never seen a coach put a child in harms way.

I would speak to the coach if I were you. In particular about the weight issue.

I know it’s hard mom, but it is “tackle” football.
 
Thanks everyone for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I have read all posts before discussing this with my son today.

I don’t know of any weight restrictions in this league. On the sign up sheet you had to list weight and height–so many of us moms were discussing where our children were at. So, I know for a fact that many kids on our team weigh well over a hundred lbs. But most kids weigh in 60’s, 70’, 80’s. It is actually good I guess that many of the bigs kids are on our team (many parents asking why the president of the football league, our asst. coach, gets so many big kids :rolleyes: )

We pray to his guardian angel before practice now–in thanksgiving for getting him thus far on his journey, and to ask for protection. I have thought of having him wear his St. Christopher medal, but maybe that’s a bad idea.

My husband and I have both officially opened the possibility of quitting at separate times (me–along the lines of this maybe not being his God-given talent) My husband said he got the feeling maybe he did want to quit. But one of his comments to me was, “Mom, I’ve only played one game.”

I guess I just don’t know how long to let him stay out there and get the you-know-what knocked out of him if he’s too afraid to tackle anyone. I know it sounds like an over-reaction, but I have been truly fearful for his safety. It would be hard to forgive myself if he got really hurt. Maybe it doesn’t happen that often, I don’t know. One poster mentioned the coach. I know our coach would never intentionally put him in harm’s way, I think he’s trying to protect him–only letting him play safety. Still he won’t tackle and takes really hard hits. (Blocks, whatever, I’m football illiterate)

Thanks again, everyone!
Lori
 
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lewlo:
Thanks everyone for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I have read all posts before discussing this with my son today.

I don’t know of any weight restrictions in this league. On the sign up sheet you had to list weight and height–so many of us moms were discussing where our children were at. So, I know for a fact that many kids on our team weigh well over a hundred lbs. But most kids weigh in 60’s, 70’, 80’s. It is actually good I guess that many of the bigs kids are on our team (many parents asking why the president of the football league, our asst. coach, gets so many big kids :rolleyes: )

We pray to his guardian angel before practice now–in thanksgiving for getting him thus far on his journey, and to ask for protection. I have thought of having him wear his St. Christopher medal, but maybe that’s a bad idea.

My husband and I have both officially opened the possibility of quitting at separate times (me–along the lines of this maybe not being his God-given talent) My husband said he got the feeling maybe he did want to quit. But one of his comments to me was, “Mom, I’ve only played one game.”

I guess I just don’t know how long to let him stay out there and get the you-know-what knocked out of him if he’s too afraid to tackle anyone. I know it sounds like an over-reaction, but I have been truly fearful for his safety. It would be hard to forgive myself if he got really hurt. Maybe it doesn’t happen that often, I don’t know. One poster mentioned the coach. I know our coach would never intentionally put him in harm’s way, I think he’s trying to protect him–only letting him play safety. Still he won’t tackle and takes really hard hits. (Blocks, whatever, I’m football illiterate)

Thanks again, everyone!
Lori
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I played during my senior year in HS at safety. I was, BY FAR, the smallest senior at 125lbs. I never got hurt. Not to say there is no chance but us little guys are usually fast!

Again, talk to the coach about his weight compared to others. He may be able to move down into a younger age group.
 
Im a guy that started playing football at age 8 but I was not one of the smallest and it was a great thing for me…I want my son to play when he is of age.

But if he is in that much danger of getting hurt I would pull him out of there. This has nothing to do with being a quitter, it has everything to do with being prudent.

One of my favorite lines from a song: “you got to know when to hold em and know when to fold em…”

He needs to learn not to put himself in unnecessary danger.
 
when my son played football they were not allowed to play tackle until junior high, and there were supposed to be weight restrictions. I worked for an orthopedic surgeon who contracted with several school districts and professional teams and he told me not to let my son play at all before 7th grade. Even then he felt the kids were not ready but that if they did not play would not have the skills necessary when they got to high school.

that being said, where he and my nephews really got whacked was hockey
 
Wow, 7th grade? My son is entering 3rd grade. That really makes me think.

I found out this league does have weight restrictions. Any kid over 95 lbs cannot carry the ball (unless it’s a fumble and something else I can’t remember). Also, the big kids can’t tackle 10 yards out or more. So, I believe that affects 4, maybe 5 of our kids. We have a kid on our team that weighs 160 lbs. My son weighs 58.

My son had another bad practice last night. But, he attended a sleepover the night before and was extremely tired (oops). This morn. he says he still wants to try it. We prayed about it last night and will continue to do so. An asst. coach said last night to give him the weekend to decide. But, the head coach says, “He’s doing fine, he’ll be fine.” and he expects to see him at practice.
So … I guess we’ll see. Thanks again, everyone! Truly, this has helped me tremendously.
 
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lewlo:
Wow, 7th grade? My son is entering 3rd grade. That really makes me think.

I found out this league does have weight restrictions. Any kid over 95 lbs cannot carry the ball (unless it’s a fumble and something else I can’t remember). Also, the big kids can’t tackle 10 yards out or more. So, I believe that affects 4, maybe 5 of our kids. We have a kid on our team that weighs 160 lbs. My son weighs 58.

My son had another bad practice last night. But, he attended a sleepover the night before and was extremely tired (oops). This morn. he says he still wants to try it. We prayed about it last night and will continue to do so. An asst. coach said last night to give him the weekend to decide. But, the head coach says, “He’s doing fine, he’ll be fine.” and he expects to see him at practice.
So … I guess we’ll see. Thanks again, everyone! Truly, this has helped me tremendously.
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I’m sorry but something is wrong here. I don’t know who is running your league but they should be immediately fired!

Pop Warner is the nations most popular league. My son is 11 and a 7th grader and his team does not allow anyone over 115 lbs to play.

There is NO WAY, I repeat, NO WAY a 160lb 3rd grader would be allowed to play with a 58 lb kid.

You are either in a VERY BAD LEAGUE or you are mistaken. If it is the former, GET OUT!
 
I am not mistaken. The kid is a 4th grader. His mom told me last night, face to face, that her son weighs 160 lbs. This league is 3rd-4th grades. We even have a couple kids on our team entering 2nd grade.

I guess I need to talk to coach again.
 
And the coaches son, who is entering the 3rd grade like my son, weighs 59 lbs. One mom told me last night her son weighs 120. Another kid on the team (who was also on my son’s baseball team) has to weigh around 120 as well (quite possibly more)
 
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lewlo:
I am not mistaken. The kid is a 4th grader. His mom told me last night, face to face, that her son weighs 160 lbs. This league is 3rd-4th grades. We even have a couple kids on our team entering 2nd grade.

I guess I need to talk to coach again.
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Here, print this out and show it to your coach. This is the Pop Warner weight/age class.

You will see kids at the older end of the group have a lower maximum for weight.

Your teams MAXIMUM weight should be 90lbs (assuming 7-8-9 year olds)

If you league is Pop Warner your coach is in violation. If it is not he should be ashamed of himself!

popwarner.com/football/footballstructure.asp?lable=structure
 
My son is 9 years old and maybe 60#, this is his 3rd year playing tackle and he loves it. As a Mom I fear for his safety but not enough to pull him off the team. The have a lighter weight division this year but since his team was so good last year, he wanted to stay with them which meant the “open” division. Next year he’ll play CYO with all weights anyway, but there are restrictions on ball carrying.

I’ve had 2 other boys who are smaller kids and they knew when to give up on football. It’s sad that it comes to this for the little guys as particularly my middle son had a lot of talent but if he would have continued to play, he probably would have had knee replacements by the age of 40 (he already had 1 knee surgery) That’s just football, it for the larger children. I would leave it up to your son. It also takes some time to get used to this very physical sport as a parent.

Also, if he really loves this sport, I might suggest getting him involved in wrestling during the winter. My boys are wrestlers. I sit at football practice and listen to the parents when they can’t believe that my little guy can tackle like he does. It’s because of wrestling! He’s not afraid to hit and knows takedowns - he uses them in football. An added bonus is that in wrestling nobody ever says you can’t play because of your size. Wrestling is for all sizes of kids. And when they get to high school, if they aren’t 6 ft. tall in our area, you won’t be playing basketball!
 
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