Help through the dark night of the soul

[Thomas_White]

The same voice I’ve always had, it just seems more prominent these past 2 years, my inner guide I guess I would call it, intuition maybe. (some people would call it a mental disorder, its not)

The heightened feeling is difficult to explain, nothing seems to change in my surroundings, its similar to the feeling of being in a sudden life or death situation, minus the adrenaline rush, its like suddenly I’m awake as if I had been walking in a stupor before, this is when the strange things begin happening like the inner voice/intuition, I become more “keen” and sometimes almost answer questions before they’re asked and stuff like that. It’s almost as if some part of me when this happens is moving faster than everything else and the rest of me can’t keep up.

Okay. I wanted to know that since you are here seeking help. It sounds like a panic attack. If so, it is a fairly common disorder (not mental illness), and it certainly does not mean you are spiritually doomed. Anxiety is a component of depression. What happens is that in depression psychic energy is blocked, and this energy is then experienced as anxiety. The solution is to get things flowing again. A panic attack is an acute and sudden onset of anxiety, and there are often accompanying feelings of disassociation and de-realization.

Depersonalization concerns self-awareness and the feeling that one is sort of watching oneself act and has no control over it. This often occurs during clinical depression. A simple visit to a doctor’s office would likely result in the beginning of an effective treatment by medication. If you ask questions, the doctor should be able to explain what is going on. Your thinking is rational and lucid, and you are neither irrational nor doomed. You are trying to understand this and are seeking help. This is rational behaviour.

Now, for your comfort level about this—it is a medical issue. The brain is a physical organ of the human body. Though the difficulty is considered a psychological one, don’t let that disturb you either. It is a way of classifying it since it involves the brain and thus the ‘mind’. But it involves the physiology of the brain, and it is a medial issue. It does not mean there is anything ‘wrong’ with you. If clinical depression and panic attacks are what is going on, it is not a spiritual issue and all. And, again, it most certainly does not mean you are doomed. This feeling of gloom and doom is commonly experienced during an anxiety attack along with its component of disassociation.

But yes, the feeling is there and it certainly seems real, in the way that “perception is reality”. It is real for you while you are experiencing it. And though you said you thought otherwise, the sense of becoming more ‘keen’ and that some part of you is moving faster than anything else, including yourself, and particularly that it feels like a life or death situation, is most likely an adrenaline rush with feelings of disassociation. If this is the case, you cannot think your way out of this any more than you could think your way out of a broken leg.

Passiveness and the feeling of helplessness and that nothing can be done about this is itself a symptom of disassociation. I really wish you would seek professional help. Just a visit to a medical doctor would, I think, benefit you greatly. Doctors see patients with similar problems nearly every day. You truly do not have to continue suffering in this way. In particular, you should stop believing that something is fundamentally ‘wrong’ for you. It is not the case, but this is probably impossible to do by trying to solve the problem by thinking, as though it were a math problem one could solve. Remember that one cannot think one’s way out of a broken leg.

Once you seek treatment and your life settles down for you, you will be able to begin your spiritual journey. I hope this helps.

 

[DavidFilmer]

The title of this post concerns me. Some readers who are undergoing a spiritual crisis may seek enlightenment from the book, Dark Night of the Soul, by St. John of the Cross (a Carmelite priest and Doctor of the Church).

Danger, Will Robinson! Dark Night is a very advanced study in Catholic mysticism. NOBODY should read Dark Night unless s/he is under the direction of a Spiritual Adviser who is well versed in Carmelite spirituality, and s/he has read (and understood!) at least Spiritual Exercises by St. Ignatius of Loyola (who is not a Doctor, but should be!), and Interior Castle and The Ascent of Mt Carmel by St. Theresa of Avila (also a Carmelite Doctor of the Church).

Anyone who reads Dark Night of the Soul without sufficient preparation and direction will probably do himself more harm than good. If Catholicism were a University, this would be advanced, graduate level spirituality.

 

[johnvee84]

The title of this post concerns me. Some readers who are undergoing a spiritual crisis may seek enlightenment from the book, Dark Night of the Soul, by St. John of the Cross (a Carmelite priest and Doctor of the Church).

Danger, Will Robinson! Dark Night is a very advanced study in Catholic mysticism. NOBODY should read Dark Night unless s/he is under the direction of a Spiritual Adviser who is well versed in Carmelite spirituality, and s/he has read (and understood!) at least Spiritual Exercises by St. Ignatius of Loyola (who is not a Doctor, but should be!), and Interior Castle and The Ascent of Mt Carmel by St. Theresa of Avila (also a Carmelite Doctor of the Church).

Anyone who reads Dark Night of the Soul without sufficient preparation and direction will probably do himself more harm than good. If Catholicism were a University, this would be advanced, graduate level spirituality.

Too late, I already read it.

I still believe it is a dark night I’m going through, after reading the lengthy link to the book posted in the reply just made me feel more confirmation.

I actually cried when I read the parts about feeling abandoned/ unworthy of God’s love as it really hit home, and contemplating suicide as I want to go “home” which I feel is going to not be heaven.

I feel the dark night won’t end, most likely because I won’t surrender to it.

 

[DavidFilmer]

Too late, I already read it.

Then one of two things are possible:

• You are going through a rather ordinary spiritual crisis, which you mistakenly think is what St. John of the Cross is describing in his book, Dark Night of the Soul, and you are unable to relate the book to your experience (because you are not really talking about the same thing that St. John describes)
• You are deeply conversant with Carmelite spirituality and have attained the inner fortress as described in St. Theresa of Avila’s Spiritual Castle.

I still believe it is a dark night I’m going through, after reading the lengthy link to the book posted in the reply just made me feel more confirmation.

Then forget everything you read in St. John of the Cross. You are NOT experiencing what he described. If you really understood what he described, you would feel LESS (not MORE) confirmation. St. John did not write Dark Night to confirm a Dark Night, but to overcome it. If you feel it confirms anything then you have done yourself more harm than good by reading this book, which is what I feared. This is NOT a book for the average Catholic layperson who is experiencing a spiritual crisis. What St. John describes in Dark Night is NOTHING like what the typical layperson might experience.

I actually cried when I read the parts about feeling abandoned/ unworthy of God’s love as it really hit home, and contemplating suicide as I want to go “home” which I feel is going to not be heaven.

Then you completely missed what the book was trying to say. St. John offers only hope - never despair. But you were/are NOT going through what he describes. You are having a crisis of faith. MOST Catholics have a crisis of faith at one time or another. Only a VERY FEW experience what St. John of the Cross describes in Dark Night, and only after a protracted monastic experience. This book does not apply to many more than one in ten thousand Catholics.

PLEASE stop equating what you are experiencing to this book. The fact that this book has not helped you (but has apparently reinforced your crisis) is evidence enough that you should have never read it in the first place. This book is POISON to you. You are not sufficiently formed in Carmelite spirituality (or Catholic mysticism in general) to even understand what this book is talking about (as evidenced by your reaction to it).

You are NOT experiencing ANYTHING like what St. John of the Cross described in Dark Night of the Soul. You are experiencing a simple and common crisis of Faith. Welcome to the crowd - I have experienced this as well (and I seem to live with this crisis, in one way or another). I doubt that any longtime Catholic participant on this Forum would deny that s/he has NEVER experienced any crisis of Faith.

But I have never encountered ANYONE on this Forum that I thought actually experienced the Dark Night as described by St. John of the Cross. My wife has been a Third-Order Carmelite (OCDS) for more than twenty years, and SHE has never encountered anyone who has experienced this.

 

[johnvee84]

Then one of two things are possible:

• You are going through a rather ordinary spiritual crisis, which you mistakenly think is what St. John of the Cross is describing in his book, Dark Night of the Soul, and you are unable to relate the book to your experience (because you are not really talking about the same thing that St. John describes)
• You are deeply conversant with Carmelite spirituality and have attained the inner fortress as described in St. Theresa of Avila’s Spiritual Castle.

Then forget everything you read in St. John of the Cross. You are NOT experiencing what he described. If you really understood what he described, you would feel LESS (not MORE) confirmation. St. John did not write Dark Night to confirm a Dark Night, but to overcome it. If you feel it confirms anything then you have done yourself more harm than good by reading this book, which is what I feared. This is NOT a book for the average Catholic layperson who is experiencing a spiritual crisis. What St. John describes in Dark Night is NOTHING like what the typical layperson might experience.

Then you completely missed what the book was trying to say. St. John offers only hope - never despair. But you were/are NOT going through what he describes. You are having a crisis of faith. MOST Catholics have a crisis of faith at one time or another. Only a VERY FEW experience what St. John of the Cross describes in Dark Night, and only after a protracted monastic experience. This book does not apply to many more than one in ten thousand Catholics.

PLEASE stop equating what you are experiencing to this book. The fact that this book has not helped you (but has apparently reinforced your crisis) is evidence enough that you should have never read it in the first place. This book is POISON to you. You are not sufficiently formed in Carmelite spirituality (or Catholic mysticism in general) to even understand what this book is talking about (as evidenced by your reaction to it).

You are NOT experiencing ANYTHING like what St. John of the Cross described in Dark Night of the Soul. You are experiencing a simple and common crisis of Faith. Welcome to the crowd - I have experienced this as well (and I seem to live with this crisis, in one way or another). I doubt that any longtime Catholic participant on this Forum would deny that s/he has NEVER experienced any crisis of Faith.

But I have never encountered ANYONE on this Forum that I thought actually experienced the Dark Night as described by St. John of the Cross. My wife has been a Third-Order Carmelite (OCDS) for more than twenty years, and SHE has never encountered anyone who has experienced this.

 

[WilT]

Then one of two things are possible:

• You are going through a rather ordinary spiritual crisis, which you mistakenly think is what St. John of the Cross is describing in his book, Dark Night of the Soul, and you are unable to relate the book to your experience (because you are not really talking about the same thing that St. John describes)
• You are deeply conversant with Carmelite spirituality and have attained the inner fortress as described in St. Theresa of Avila’s Spiritual Castle.

Then forget everything you read in St. John of the Cross. You are NOT experiencing what he described. If you really understood what he described, you would feel LESS (not MORE) confirmation. St. John did not write Dark Night to confirm a Dark Night, but to overcome it. If you feel it confirms anything then you have done yourself more harm than good by reading this book, which is what I feared. This is NOT a book for the average Catholic layperson who is experiencing a spiritual crisis. What St. John describes in Dark Night is NOTHING like what the typical layperson might experience.

Then you completely missed what the book was trying to say. St. John offers only hope - never despair. But you were/are NOT going through what he describes. You are having a crisis of faith. MOST Catholics have a crisis of faith at one time or another. Only a VERY FEW experience what St. John of the Cross describes in Dark Night, and only after a protracted monastic experience. This book does not apply to many more than one in ten thousand Catholics.

PLEASE stop equating what you are experiencing to this book. The fact that this book has not helped you (but has apparently reinforced your crisis) is evidence enough that you should have never read it in the first place. This book is POISON to you. You are not sufficiently formed in Carmelite spirituality (or Catholic mysticism in general) to even understand what this book is talking about (as evidenced by your reaction to it).

You are NOT experiencing ANYTHING like what St. John of the Cross described in Dark Night of the Soul. You are experiencing a simple and common crisis of Faith. Welcome to the crowd - I have experienced this as well (and I seem to live with this crisis, in one way or another). I doubt that any longtime Catholic participant on this Forum would deny that s/he has NEVER experienced any crisis of Faith.

But I have never encountered ANYONE on this Forum that I thought actually experienced the Dark Night as described by St. John of the Cross. My wife has been a Third-Order Carmelite (OCDS) for more than twenty years, and SHE has never encountered anyone who has experienced this.

I must agree with this posting.

 

[cynnergy]

JohnVee - Yes, you’re going through the Dark Night. Don’t listen to the other yahoos here who think they know what they’re talking about because they read about it in a book or on some Catholic webpage. You can’t ever know how hellish it is to be in a Dark Night until you’re in one, and you’ll see - everyone around you will invalidate it as a legitimate experience, or tell you that “you just have the blues”, etc. That’s part of the experience - the isolation. The only person that can help you is someone that has been through it, and you will need help.

There are a couple of good books out there that can help you, and look it up on Youtube. It’s more common than you think.

Good luck. Some days are easier than others.
Elspeth

 

[cynnergy]

P.S. Write me back, let me know how things are for you now. Blessings and light to you.