Help! what about your youth ministry?

[sabriner]

I’ve been serving in our parish youth ministry for about two years, yet I still find trouble in getting our youth ministry truly active. so what do you do at your parishes? i tried searching, but didn’t find much except very general descriptions.

allow me to explain my story. excuse the lengthiness.

in 2007, the youth choir leader and my friend invited me to join a parish play (by Marty Haugen called “Tales of Wonder”). Before that I was never involved in parish youth ministry, which at the time was called Teens Living in Christ (TLC) (which shortly changed before I joined to PYA–Parish Youth Apostolate. it was very catchy going around and saying pya pya pya randomly). My friend had just gone through the Cursillo, and was extremely inspired by the Holy Spirit to bring life to youth ministry. In addition to bringing in numbers through getting people to join the play, she created an entirely prayerful youth ministry, with Jesus as the Eucharist as its center. Every Monday we had what we call “Prayer Connections.” These started out with 30-20 kids at every meeting. In all honesty, I can’t remember what we used to do, but I do remember games and interesting ways to go through scripture. Eventually the content standardized, and we realized the importance of Mass, and the Rosary, so incorporated that with our faith sharing and visit to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. These prayer connections AND all my new friends is what kept me and others active in the ministry.

We also had MAPs (Mass and After Party) where we invite all our friends to come to Mass then have food and entertainment afterward in the “spiritual center” (social hall). There also would be activities in the diocese to attend like Eucharistic Congresses, etc.

However, after my friend left to the convent, things went “downhill.” (Though I do acknowledge that Christ at Calvary was also seen as a “failure”…a lot of good things happened in that “downhill” period but I feel that that is no excuse for a lack of youth ministry). People stopped going to the weekly meetings and eventually those stopped for nearly half a year. The only real active youth now are the altar servers and the core members of our youth group.

I feel extremely blessed to have my fellow core members, who are like family to me. But I feel that now is the time to evangelize and reach out to other youth. There are so many out there that need guidance and they aren’t getting any, unfortunately.

I keep thinking that one of the biggest obstacle to them coming to enrich their faith is their parents. I know that’s true for every case, but for when it is, what’s the best course of action? To talk to their parents? Or would that make it worse?

Last month our pastor held a meeting with us core members. This is because he is reorganizing the parish according to a stewardship program. We now have two adult leaders but one is a deacon and the other is a parent. Also, the more active of the two is of an entirely different “spirit” or “charism” than our youth ministry. He doesn’t seem to click too well. I know it’s too soon to tell, but how do i introduce him to our ministry? He comes from YFC, which is more of an “active” ministry, whereas ours is focused more on being “spiritual warriors” (this he said himself). How do i go about reconciling this?

The Confirmation Class was also just Confirmed last May, but it seems that even though we invite them to activities, they don’t come, despite their enthusiasm when they were attending class and at their last retreat. Any advice?

I’m sorry that I have so many questions. I actually think i might have more, but i’m having a brain fart…

Thanks for all your help.

 

[KathyA]

I’ll address your first question, which is what do I do in my parish to make youth ministry active. Here are some things that have worked well for me:

Ignatius Press “I’m Dreaming of a Catholic Christmas” Fundraiser. This filled a need and also gave us some dough.

Souper Bowl of Caring-held on the same weekend as the Super Bowl. This also includes a canned food drive at a local grocery store the weekend before. www.souperbowl.org (I think)

Lesson on Roe vs. Wade to coincide with the anniversary. (So the facts were fresh in mind.) This was followed by all members of the youth group wearing a pro-life t-shirt to school on the actual anniversary date. This made a HUGE impact at our high school. We wore the red “Life Guard” t’s here www.lztees.com

Using “packaged” curriculums like Theology of the Body for Teens and T3-Teen Bible Study by Mark Hart.

I live in a very small town, so our opportunities are perhaps a little more limited. Also, I’m just a parent/volunteer youth minister, so the dynamics are a bit different for me. You have asked the age-old question…how can we be everything to everybody? Anyone who has worked in youth ministry has felt your pain. It sounds like you have had many successes to build on. Don’t get discouraged by decreasing numbers. Just keep at it and keep asking God to guide you. I am convinced that he loves teens, especially. If you keep asking, He will guide you.

Kathy

 

[sabriner]

I’ll address your first question, which is what do I do in my parish to make youth ministry active. Here are some things that have worked well for me:

Ignatius Press “I’m Dreaming of a Catholic Christmas” Fundraiser. This filled a need and also gave us some dough.

Souper Bowl of Caring-held on the same weekend as the Super Bowl. This also includes a canned food drive at a local grocery store the weekend before. www.souperbowl.org (I think)

Lesson on Roe vs. Wade to coincide with the anniversary. (So the facts were fresh in mind.) This was followed by all members of the youth group wearing a pro-life t-shirt to school on the actual anniversary date. This made a HUGE impact at our high school. We wore the red “Life Guard” t’s here www.lztees.com

Using “packaged” curriculums like Theology of the Body for Teens and T3-Teen Bible Study by Mark Hart.

I live in a very small town, so our opportunities are perhaps a little more limited. Also, I’m just a parent/volunteer youth minister, so the dynamics are a bit different for me. You have asked the age-old question…how can we be everything to everybody? Anyone who has worked in youth ministry has felt your pain. It sounds like you have had many successes to build on. Don’t get discouraged by decreasing numbers. Just keep at it and keep asking God to guide you. I am convinced that he loves teens, especially. If you keep asking, He will guide you.

Kathy

thanks for the suggestions and encouragement. those look like great resources

i’ll be praying for your youth ministry.

 

[tkdnick]

Hi sabriner,
I’ve been in youth ministry for the past 3-4 years and have just recently been asked to take over the high school youth group on my own. I too have struggled with getting the youth to be more involved in their faith.

I think the first thing for youth ministry is to build relationships with the youth. If we don’t have a relationship with them then we can’t really expect to get anywhere. Someone once told me “If you want youth to listen to you then you need to be worth listening to.”

I’m also a big fan of meeting the youth where they are & then building them up from there. I can’t jump straight in to a discussion on ecumenism if the youth don’t have some understanding of Catholic beliefs & the beliefs of other religions.

I’ve also found that making the subject engaging & entertaining is important. In our current high-tech, high-speed society many students check out if it’s not immediately pertinent to them & if it’s not entertaining.

 

[tkdnick]

Using “packaged” curriculums like Theology of the Body for Teens and T3-Teen Bible Study by Mark Hart.

I have been disappointed with the Theology of the Body for Teens program. Not that the information isn’t very good, but it’s very “boring” with just the 3 of them sitting in chairs & talking to the camera. I’m concerned my youth will simply check out on it.

LOVED the the T3 program. Mark Hart is funny & entertaining & does a great job highlighting important & interesting parts of Scripture.

 

[Sr_Sally]

We will be having similar issues this summer and coming up school year. Our parochial vicar who was leading the youth group has been transferred. He was a power-house and it is so powerful for the kids to have a priest who is devoted to their issues. I am sure the priest coming in to replace him will be fine, but may not have the same expereince or interest in the youth. The parent group is very good and we do have a strong core of teens, but with the change in schedules that always happens in the summer, you just don’t know what may happen. I will pray for your group every time I pray for ours!

 

[KathyA]

I have been disappointed with the Theology of the Body for Teens program. Not that the information isn’t very good, but it’s very “boring” with just the 3 of them sitting in chairs & talking to the camera. I’m concerned my youth will simply check out on it.

LOVED the the T3 program. Mark Hart is funny & entertaining & does a great job highlighting important & interesting parts of Scripture.

I can only speak for what my group told me. They LOVED Theology of the Body for Teens! Yes, it’s just the three presenters talking, but the segments are pretty short (the longest is about 30 minutes), so they didn’t check out. What was a major annoyance to them was at the end of the segment, there are usually comments from individuals about how TOB has impacted their lives. The camera technique made us all dizzy! Honestly, it was distracting. But, thankfully, those parts are very short. We did use the workbook and did many of the activities that went along with the DVD segments. My kids all thought it was awesome.

We used T3 the year before. Mark Hart captured their attention with his style and humor right off the bat, but it was hard to keep them focused as we moved through the OT. Still, they commented favorably on it.

Kathy

 

[puzzleannie]

in specific response to OP what your parish seems to have skipped is the step where all those involved–pastor, pastoral council, stewardship team, catechetical leader, youth ministry people, parents, and some representative kids–meet and find a common vision for youth ministry under the umbrella of the rest of the parish mission, as it is being defined in the new focus on stewardship.

Resist the urge to claim ownership of YM under the charism you have had up until now, but don’t let go of what is good and what is working. You can’t just appoint youth leaders, they must have a heart for it, and some solid background. As a parent and grandparent, sad to say those qualifications alone don’t fit someone for YM.

Pastor needs to do more development of what he envisions for this stewardship focus (which is an excellent basis from which to operate a parish, btw) and share it with everyone else. If lay leaders are not all on the same page different parish ministries are going to be competing, not collaborating.

for now all the YM people including the oldies and newly appointed need to sit down and brainstorm and see if when they say “YM” they are talking about the same thing

HS CCD and Confirmation prep are NOT youth ministry.

Also check out what is the vision of the diocese on YM. Ours is available on the diocesan website, and the YM-YA leaders are on tap to come in and help a parish get started. they are having a YM training workshop all next week which is going to be dynamite.

Confirmation candidates disappear after the sacrament because they never came into it with the idea of becoming fully participating adult Catholics serving the Church and God’s poor through love of Christ, but in fulfilling a requirement laid down by their parents. The couple of faithful kids that return should be put to work at once in something meaningful, with some leadership and peer ministry role, so their gifts are recognized and valued.

my advice for TOB for Teens is to skip the videos which are boring (hard to believe they could make that topic deadly but they did) and the workbooks. Get a team of 2-4 leaders trained in the workshop run by those who designed the program (just reading TOB is not enough, there is a trick to presenting this to teens) who also know how to facilitate small groups. Present the content in chunks, each presentation no more than 15-20 minutes to the larger group, then discuss in small groups, leave time and room for Q&A and consider comfort of participants in forming the groups. get parental consent in writing.

TT3 is fantastic, and those videos are good, but you might even what to break up those short segments, and the coordinator and small group discussion leaders need to be trained on how to guide the discussion. those workbooks are worth the money but we don’t buy the whole kit (can’t afford them) and make our own bracelets, timelines and bookmarks–that is, the kids make their own, which is a better way of teaching in any case.

but both of these are about catechetics, and touch on YM, but are not YM per se. You still need to find your parish vision for what you are doing

We will be having similar issues this summer and coming up school year. Our parochial vicar who was leading the youth group has been transferred. He was a power-house and it is so powerful for the kids to have a priest who is devoted to their issues. I am sure the priest coming in to replace him will be fine, but may not have the same expereince or interest in the youth. The parent group is very good and we do have a strong core of teens, but with the change in schedules that always happens in the summer, you just don’t know what may happen. I will pray for your group every time I pray for ours!

Sr Sally’s comment points out the common failure of YM. It cannot hinge on one dynamic charismatic leader. It has to be part of a parish vision and mission, led by a team who can carry on, constantly forming new leadership. Also stopping all activity over the summer is deadly for most programs, YM most of all. Her parish is to be congratulated for recognizing that YM is above all pastoral, and by rights a priest needs to be leading or involved, but it has been ages since I was part of a parish that had this luxury. Ministry, speaking to the needs of youth, is the heart of YM, not catechetics, service projects and fun nights.

 

[tkdnick]

my advice for TOB for Teens is to skip the videos which are boring (hard to believe they could make that topic deadly but they did) and the workbooks. Get a team of 2-4 leaders trained in the workshop run by those who designed the program (just reading TOB is not enough, there is a trick to presenting this to teens) who also know how to facilitate small groups. Present the content in chunks, each presentation no more than 15-20 minutes to the larger group, then discuss in small groups, leave time and room for Q&A and consider comfort of participants in forming the groups. get parental consent in writing.

I like this idea. I have been going through the workbook & videos myself to get myself well educated with the topic before I begin.

Had not thought about the parental consent thing.

 

[sabriner]

in specific response to OP what your parish seems to have skipped is the step where all those involved–pastor, pastoral council, stewardship team, catechetical leader, youth ministry people, parents, and some representative kids–meet and find a common vision for youth ministry under the umbrella of the rest of the parish mission, as it is being defined in the new focus on stewardship.

Resist the urge to claim ownership of YM under the charism you have had up until now, but don’t let go of what is good and what is working. You can’t just appoint youth leaders, they must have a heart for it, and some solid background. As a parent and grandparent, sad to say those qualifications alone don’t fit someone for YM.

Pastor needs to do more development of what he envisions for this stewardship focus (which is an excellent basis from which to operate a parish, btw) and share it with everyone else. If lay leaders are not all on the same page different parish ministries are going to be competing, not collaborating.

for now all the YM people including the oldies and newly appointed need to sit down and brainstorm and see if when they say “YM” they are talking about the same thing

HS CCD and Confirmation prep are NOT youth ministry.

Also check out what is the vision of the diocese on YM. Ours is available on the diocesan website, and the YM-YA leaders are on tap to come in and help a parish get started. they are having a YM training workshop all next week which is going to be dynamite.

Confirmation candidates disappear after the sacrament because they never came into it with the idea of becoming fully participating adult Catholics serving the Church and God’s poor through love of Christ, but in fulfilling a requirement laid down by their parents. The couple of faithful kids that return should be put to work at once in something meaningful, with some leadership and peer ministry role, so their gifts are recognized and valued.

my advice for TOB for Teens is to skip the videos which are boring (hard to believe they could make that topic deadly but they did) and the workbooks. Get a team of 2-4 leaders trained in the workshop run by those who designed the program (just reading TOB is not enough, there is a trick to presenting this to teens) who also know how to facilitate small groups. Present the content in chunks, each presentation no more than 15-20 minutes to the larger group, then discuss in small groups, leave time and room for Q&A and consider comfort of participants in forming the groups. get parental consent in writing.

TT3 is fantastic, and those videos are good, but you might even what to break up those short segments, and the coordinator and small group discussion leaders need to be trained on how to guide the discussion. those workbooks are worth the money but we don’t buy the whole kit (can’t afford them) and make our own bracelets, timelines and bookmarks–that is, the kids make their own, which is a better way of teaching in any case.

but both of these are about catechetics, and touch on YM, but are not YM per se. You still need to find your parish vision for what you are doing

Sr Sally’s comment points out the common failure of YM. It cannot hinge on one dynamic charismatic leader. It has to be part of a parish vision and mission, led by a team who can carry on, constantly forming new leadership. Also stopping all activity over the summer is deadly for most programs, YM most of all. Her parish is to be congratulated for recognizing that YM is above all pastoral, and by rights a priest needs to be leading or involved, but it has been ages since I was part of a parish that had this luxury. Ministry, speaking to the needs of youth, is the heart of YM, not catechetics, service projects and fun nights.

thank you puzzleannie! i’ll keep all those in mind, and I agree.

I have a question on something specific though. When you say that “the leaders trained in the workshop run by those who designed the program” and that “there is a trick to presenting this to teens,” which program are you talking about? the YM or TOB? Also, if we have no one to train, what do you mean specifically by “trick”? I know you can’t just read that stuff off to them…but I’m wondering on terms of specifics…

Our pastor has implimented TOB for Confirmation this upcoming year.

 

[leonie]

My opinion that if you want to build a strong program, start with younger kids. Middle school kids should have a weekly program with a strong formation, service, and prayer component.

Our parish focuses on the high school. There’s a smattering of social activities for middle school. I think it’s short sighted.

I really think that if we focused on the middle school more, there would be more participation at the high school level. Plus, that formation in the 12-14 age range really sets the stage for their high school journey. By the time the middle school kids get to high school, a lot of them have other distractions and no attachment to the parish.

I like the Challenge and ConQuest youth program model in which the high school kids receive formation and are youth leaders for the middle school kids. The middle school kids really respond to the older teens. And, the teens get formation and catechesis so they can lead the young kids.

Sometimes, I feel really frustrated that I can’t do more youth ministry, but my little kids demand so much attention, esp. my new baby.

But, I wonder if you would consider giving the high school ministry to the new team and focus on the middle school? And, not just a fluffy social program, but one that teaches good theology, service, prayer, and has a fun component.

 

[sabriner]

My opinion that if you want to build a strong program, start with younger kids. Middle school kids should have a weekly program with a strong formation, service, and prayer component.

Our parish focuses on the high school. There’s a smattering of social activities for middle school. I think it’s short sighted.

I really think that if we focused on the middle school more, there would be more participation at the high school level. Plus, that formation in the 12-14 age range really sets the stage for their high school journey. By the time the middle school kids get to high school, a lot of them have other distractions and no attachment to the parish.

I like the Challenge and ConQuest youth program model in which the high school kids receive formation and are youth leaders for the middle school kids. The middle school kids really respond to the older teens. And, the teens get formation and catechesis so they can lead the young kids.

Sometimes, I feel really frustrated that I can’t do more youth ministry, but my little kids demand so much attention, esp. my new baby.

But, I wonder if you would consider giving the high school ministry to the new team and focus on the middle school? And, not just a fluffy social program, but one that teaches good theology, service, prayer, and has a fun component.

leonie, you make a good point. our youth ministry welcomes youth in middle AND high school, but i’m thinking there needs to be thought to focus on each one separately because of the social gap. i’m still wondering how to do that.

 

[Ed_Montgomery]

Hello Sabriner! My name is Ed!
Before I start, I am willing to tell you it is 5 am here, I have not gone to bed tonight. I did not read other posters posts because it’s hard to keep my eyes open. For that I am dearly sorry.

Sabriner; I’m 15. I am an ex drug dealer and I found God in Youth Ministry and now I am following God’s path for me to become a priest. You seem unable to reach out, there is SO much to help you, pages on pages, and I feel I can’t type it all here, so in the end if you want any extra info feel free to send me a message!

Now here I will cut to the point. Youth Ministry oh what fun.
Think of it all as a school. You have the athletic people, the music people, the smart people, the hang out people, and then the rest who just come and mixed in with every group. Please don’t get angry with me stereotyping, it just makes this go so much faster.

Things to draw the youth in:
Host a concert. Get a local Christian band to come play some tunes, or just get a local band to do Christian cover songs, or get a DJ to play some good music. If you have it in the open you have a better chance to watch the kids to make sure nothing unmoral goes down.

Host a football/basketball/soccer/ect game on a HUGE field. Split them up separate and have some fun. Pretty much the easiest one.

Host a Pizza Party. Have it be like a regular youth meeting but without all the sub topics and just have a party. Then in the end have one big talk, or whilst everyone is eating. It would be good to have priests or sisters there to talk to the kids while they are hanging out.

Choose your timing! Don’t host it all at one time. Do some in the start, some in the middle, then a big end of the year bash! Also, maybe at the end of every month, if you went to at least have the meetings you get an extra pizza party!

Now you may say, “Ed this is good stuff, but NONE of it relates to God whatsoever!” I fully understand this. The kids will pick up God on the way. They start going, it will start growing, God can work his way into anything.

Make your session longer! Our youth group starts at 7 30 pm and ends at 9. It is an unwritten rule that everyone comes at 7 just to chill though. We have couches, free drinks, music is playing in the background, then we also have a park just for our center so kids also hang out there.

Like I said from the start, there is oh so much more to say, but I hoped I helped in the least bit.
Your brother in Christ
Ed

 

[puzzleannie]

I like this idea. I have been going through the workbook & videos myself to get myself well educated with the topic before I begin.

Had not thought about the parental consent thing.

I highly recommend that before presenting the material to teens you take the training supplied by the publishers of the teen program themselves. Just reading the material is IMHO not enough to make us effective presenters, and just a casual reading is not enough to make us familiar enough with the ideas to convey them to a teen audience. There is much more than knowing the concepts, there is knowing what to say, how much to say, and knowing the audience, how to monitor and lead the discussions, how to answer questions, how to communicate with the parents.

I am speaking specifically as I did before of TOB for Teens by Ascension Press, since that is the post I reponded too.

I will also repeat
Youth Ministry is NOT youth group
it is not CCD for youth
it is not Confirmation Prep
it is not “presenting the programs” such as TOB, TT3 or any other canned program

It is ministering to the pastoral needs of youth and as such should be led by pastors, assisted as they are in other ministry by specially trained and prepared lay people.

before you can effectively plan and carry out YM in your parish you must identify under the leadership of your pastor what you all mean by YM, and who it is (age group, parishioners or non, CCD attendees or visitors) you will include in those you are trying to reach. If everybody on the team has a different idea of YM–(pastor wants confirmation prep, DRE wants a canned program her catechists can teach in CCD, kids want pizza parties, dances and a softball team, parents don’t care what you do as long as they are not doing drugs in the school parking lot and they are someplace other than the mall on Sunday afternoon) you are not going to have a program that works.

 

[leonie]

leonie, you make a good point. our youth ministry welcomes youth in middle AND high school, but i’m thinking there needs to be thought to focus on each one separately because of the social gap. i’m still wondering how to do that.

Oh definitely–they should be separate. In fact, I think it’s better to separate boys and girls in middle school, but often that’s hard to do.

 

[mystified]

Under a former bishop, our diocese was expected to see a full-spectrum youth ministry, from grammar school through college-age, obviously not the same program and activities for all, but tailored to the ages and needs.
This put Cubs Scouts, for example, under the wing of youth ministry. This also meant that the nun who was doing the job was an overseer to much of parish youth activities and offering advices and answers, while concentrating on those that needed the most attention.
This all changed when her order called her elsewhere and a young layman saw his job as running a high school social club with a catechism component for those not yet confirmed.
From a full-spectrum program reaching severl hundred, the “ministry” is now “serving” about 15 or 20, with everythig else evaporating away. The parish Boy Scout troop was allowed to be taken over by a couple of agnostics.

 

[leonie]

Under a former bishop, our diocese was expected to see a full-spectrum youth ministry, from grammar school through college-age, obviously not the same program and activities for all, but tailored to the ages and needs.
This put Cubs Scouts, for example, under the wing of youth ministry. This also meant that the nun who was doing the job was an overseer to much of parish youth activities and offering advices and answers, while concentrating on those that needed the most attention.
This all changed when her order called her elsewhere and a young layman saw his job as running a high school social club with a catechism component for those not yet confirmed.
From a full-spectrum program reaching severl hundred, the “ministry” is now “serving” about 15 or 20, with everythig else evaporating away. The parish Boy Scout troop was allowed to be taken over by a couple of agnostics.

That’s so sad.

 

[leonie]

To me, youth ministry is about formation. So, it would encompass intellectual, spiritual, social, and even physical formation.

Under this model, you would have catechesis, prayer/liturgical experiences–ideally even spiritual direction, social activities for fun, service opportunities, and physical games. Probably you can combine many of the areas–dodgeball is both physical and social.

I think a formal formation program should start in fifth grade. Of course, earlier is nicer, too.

And, whenever possible the whole family should be involved.

 

[tkdnick]

leonie, you make a good point. our youth ministry welcomes youth in middle AND high school, but i’m thinking there needs to be thought to focus on each one separately because of the social gap. i’m still wondering how to do that.

Oh definitely–they should be separate. In fact, I think it’s better to separate boys and girls in middle school, but often that’s hard to do.

We do something interesting with our Jr & Sr high groups. We meet together to start each meeting to sing, pray, & have a reading from Scripture. Then the 2 groups split up for the bulk of the meeting. Each meeting ends with snack, which is again for both Jr & Sr high.

 

[tkdnick]

To me, youth ministry is about formation. So, it would encompass intellectual, spiritual, social, and even physical formation.

Under this model, you would have catechesis, prayer/liturgical experiences–ideally even spiritual direction, social activities for fun, service opportunities, and physical games. Probably you can combine many of the areas–dodgeball is both physical and social.

Love your description. That is my view of youth ministry as well.

And, whenever possible the whole family should be involved.

It seems to be rather difficult to get families involved in youth ministry. At least at my parish.