Help with Contraception view

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KevininFlorida

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My family and I moved from S. Carolina to Florida about 8 months ago. We had been very active in a protestant church for the last 6 years. When we arrived in Florida we visited many protestant churches and didn’t find the Lord leading us toward any of them. Then while flipping through TV channels one night we saw the familiar face of one of our best friends from our old church on the EWTN show “Journey Home”. We already knew he and his family had become Catholic but as we watched and heard what he had to say about the Church we decided to at least learn more about Catholicism. We bought alot of books on apologetics and found ourselves agreeing with the Catholic view on the Eucharist, the role of Mary, and the Church’s authority and disagreeing with our old views of Sola Scriptura and Sola Fide. My wife has one problem with the church’s view — contraception. I know this comes from the thought of our house being overrun by a dozen or more kids as much as from a theological disagreement (I can’t say I don’t shudder a bit myself imagining us hiding behind sofas drawing up a hopeless battle plans to control the horde we willingly procreated). Can anyone give us any advice on how my wife can come to terms with this particular teaching of the church? Also what is the church’s stance on natural family planning and how reliable is that really?
 
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KevininFlorida:
My family and I moved from S. Carolina to Florida about 8 months ago. We had been very active in a protestant church for the last 6 years. When we arrived in Florida we visited many protestant churches and didn’t find the Lord leading us toward any of them. Then while flipping through TV channels one night we saw the familiar face of one of our best friends from our old church on the EWTN show “Journey Home”. We already knew he and his family had become Catholic but as we watched and heard what he had to say about the Church we decided to at least learn more about Catholicism. We bought alot of books on apologetics and found ourselves agreeing with the Catholic view on the Eucharist, the role of Mary, and the Church’s authority and disagreeing with our old views of Sola Scriptura and Sola Fide. My wife has one problem with the church’s view — contraception. I know this comes from the thought of our house being overrun by a dozen or more kids as much as from a theological disagreement (I can’t say I don’t shudder a bit myself imagining us hiding behind sofas drawing up a hopeless battle plans to control the horde we willingly procreated). Can anyone give us any advice on how my wife can come to terms with this particular teaching of the church? Also what is the church’s stance on natural family planning and how reliable is that really?
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prayer and probably discussions with some orthodox catholic’s… no one said being a practicing catholic was an easy prospect… but, i promise you it’s worth it… oh, tell her that prior to 1930 all christian religions believed it was wrong… only the Catholic Church (to my knowledge) has kept the faith, and remained consistent, and not bowed to secular and convenient pressures…

i wish you peace on your journey to the catholic church…
 
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KevininFlorida:
… My wife has one problem with the church’s view — contraception. I know this comes from the thought of our house being overrun by a dozen or more kids as much as from a theological disagreement (I can’t say I don’t shudder a bit myself imagining us hiding behind sofas drawing up a hopeless battle plans to control the horde we willingly procreated). Can anyone give us any advice on how my wife can come to terms with this particular teaching of the church? Also what is the church’s stance on natural family planning and how reliable is that really?
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Natrual Family Planning can be licitly used for spacing, reducing the number of or even eliminating the possibility of having children for good reasons. That requires some discernment so that we aren’t enticed to do so for selfish reasons.

It can be extremely reliable in keeping one’s spouse from getting pregnant, rivaling virtually any of the artificial birth control methods, which are always objectively gravely sinful. In some studies, the participants trying to refrain from becoming pregnant had a 100% success ratio. A lot depends on how highly motivated the couple is, however. Some couples are more willing to “take a chance” than others.

As far as why contraception is immoral, I think an article by Rev Brian W Harrison (link) is the best I’ve seen with respect to the biblical evidence, though I haven’t checked out the Catholic Answers tract on that subject yet. Other articles that might be of interest are ones by Janet L. Smith (link) and Fr. Saunders (link).

One very good organization is The Couple to Couple League. The Billings Ovulation Method is also another highly recommended method of NFP, and the Pope Paul VI Institute is another good organization to check out.

See also:

Creighton Model Fertility Care and NaPro Technology (used by the Pope Paul VI Institute mentioned above) are also worth taking a look at.

Church History and Birth Control

Other resources
 
Kevin-

LoneRanger hit the nail on the head with his brief summary of all of the churches views on abc (artificial birth control) prior to 1930. As far as NFP goes, the Catholic Church embraces it as the only approved means of spacing your children out. How holistic can you be, or what kind of a father would you be if you were financially strapped or out of your mind from a dozen kids running around? The Church understands these things. God (more importantly) undersatnds these things. We have Natural Family Planning to aid us doing God’s will. Don’t quote me of effectivity, but when properly utilized, I want to say it is 98.9% - better than all of the artificial forms. The challenging part of NFP is to abstain from marital relations when your wife is fertile (if you are not ready for pregnancy). These trying times (trying for both my wife and me) bring us closer together - a shared suffering, if you will. As for the reality of the situation of abc - either it blocks God out of your marriage (condoms, sponges, etc), it causes the fertilized egg to be shed (aborted) after implantation(birth control pills, morning after pill), or it decimates the fertilized egg as it passes into the womb (IUD). These forms of birth control are immoral, and should be avoided at all costs.

Summarized, NFP is a natural, loving, Church approved means of child spacing. I recommend it for all. If you have specific questions, please let me know (you can email or PM me and I will answer all calls!)

Peace,

Gordon
 
Thanks for all your responses — they were all very helpful. The links from Jeff really contain alot of great info if anyone else is struggling with this.
 
Read Rome Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. It is a story about their conversion to Catholicism. Kimberly was also stuck on contraception.

Also listen (or read) Janet Smith’s talk “Contraception: Why Not?” available from One More Soul.com. She speaks of good examples of issues that contraception brings.

Contraception is so common today, it is easy to loose sight (forest for the trees). As LoneRanger pointed out, it was a universal teaching since the dawn of humanity until only 70 years ago. To think so much has changed with regards to morality within a lifetime!
 
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KevininFlorida:
Thanks for all your responses — they were all very helpful. The links from Jeff really contain alot of great info if anyone else is struggling with this.
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You’re certainly welcome. I was negligent, however, in not checking out Catholic Answers’ tracts on Morality & Ethics first. I should have known better. Two of those tracts are very apropos here:

Birth Control

Contraception and Sterilization (Fathers*)

Sorry about that.
 
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Rascal:
Read Rome Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. It is a story about their conversion to Catholicism. Kimberly was also stuck on contraception.

Also listen (or read) Janet Smith’s talk “Contraception: Why Not?” available from One More Soul.com. She speaks of good examples of issues that contraception brings.

Contraception is so common today, it is easy to loose sight (forest for the trees). As LoneRanger pointed out, it was a universal teaching since the dawn of humanity until only 70 years ago. To think so much has changed with regards to morality within a lifetime!
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I second the Rome Sweet Home advice. Great book!
 
As husband and wife, we become co-creators with God. If we use birth control, we are shutting the door on God by saying that we know what’s best for ourselves.
 
I second the recommendation on the book Life Giving Love by Kimberly Hahn. I don’t know her, but I think she shares the resposibility for helping my husband and I create a large family.

I understand the hesitancy and fear of children overrunning your life. We may call children blessings, but we’re afraid the Lord may fill up that cup of blessing to overflowing. He’s a good and generous God. If He changes your views, He can also change your hearts so that you will greet children as the blessings that they are.
 
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KevininFlorida:
My family and I moved from S. Carolina to Florida about 8 months ago. We had been very active in a protestant church for the last 6 years. When we arrived in Florida we visited many protestant churches and didn’t find the Lord leading us toward any of them. Then while flipping through TV channels one night we saw the familiar face of one of our best friends from our old church on the EWTN show “Journey Home”. We already knew he and his family had become Catholic but as we watched and heard what he had to say about the Church we decided to at least learn more about Catholicism. We bought alot of books on apologetics and found ourselves agreeing with the Catholic view on the Eucharist, the role of Mary, and the Church’s authority and disagreeing with our old views of Sola Scriptura and Sola Fide. My wife has one problem with the church’s view — contraception. I know this comes from the thought of our house being overrun by a dozen or more kids as much as from a theological disagreement (I can’t say I don’t shudder a bit myself imagining us hiding behind sofas drawing up a hopeless battle plans to control the horde we willingly procreated). Can anyone give us any advice on how my wife can come to terms with this particular teaching of the church? Also what is the church’s stance on natural family planning and how reliable is that really?
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THere are several good books and websites I can suggest… how much do you want to read?? If I can pick only three they are:

Life Giving Love by Kimberly Hahn (and the book Rome Sweet Home with her husband Scott)

Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West

The Bible and Birth Control by Charles Provan (protestant look at contraception)

I also recommend copious amounts of material from www.omsoul.com, they have lots of books and brochurces on contraception and NFP, including either the audio or videotape of Janet Smith’s talk “Contraception, Why Not?” also pick up the brochure they have on the connection between the contraception and abortion mentality.

For NFP information go to www.creightonmodel.com and www.ccli.org. I’m a Creighton NFP’er. Yes, NFP is effective for postponing pregnancy and can also be used to achieve pregnancy. THAT is true family planning.
 
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KevininFlorida:
My family and I moved from S. Carolina to Florida about 8 months ago. We had been very active in a protestant church for the last 6 years. When we arrived in Florida we visited many protestant churches and didn’t find the Lord leading us toward any of them. Then while flipping through TV channels one night we saw the familiar face of one of our best friends from our old church on the EWTN show “Journey Home”. We already knew he and his family had become Catholic but as we watched and heard what he had to say about the Church we decided to at least learn more about Catholicism. We bought alot of books on apologetics and found ourselves agreeing with the Catholic view on the Eucharist, the role of Mary, and the Church’s authority and disagreeing with our old views of Sola Scriptura and Sola Fide. My wife has one problem with the church’s view — contraception. I know this comes from the thought of our house being overrun by a dozen or more kids as much as from a theological disagreement (I can’t say I don’t shudder a bit myself imagining us hiding behind sofas drawing up a hopeless battle plans to control the horde we willingly procreated). Can anyone give us any advice on how my wife can come to terms with this particular teaching of the church? Also what is the church’s stance on natural family planning and how reliable is that really?
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Here is my view on contraception…

Catholic teaching states abortion is a grave sin since it is the destruction of human life. You are right there are many Catholics who are wrongly practicing contraception. Catholics who pick and choose the elements of the church which they feel they want are called “Cafeteria Catholics”. These are not “Practicing Catholics”. Catholic teaching states Contraception is wrong but Natural Family Planning (NFP) is OK since God is still in control of the decision making process.

I look at human sexuality as having 2 variables. There is “self gratification” & “openess to new life”. With contraception you want the “self gratification” without being “open to new life”. I think if God wanted us to have one of these variables without the other, God would have created another action. God’s Natural Law has both “self gratification” & “openess to new life” as ONE ACTION. Who are we to tell the Creator this was a mistake?

Those who feel contraception is morally OK must defend other sexual acts which takes the “gratification” but leaves the “openess to new life” behind like homosexuality (man & man), pedifilia (man & boy) & beastiality (man & animal) all of which are comdemned in the Bible. This is just the way I look at it.
 
Just to add…my thoughts are that the two parts are Unity of the spouses and Procreation. The gratification should probably not be referred to as “self” - gratification as this doesn’t speak of the fact that the 2 become one and that it is about the other, and not about the self. It’s about making one’s self a gift to the other, completely (including your fertility) as God gave his body completely to His Church. The above are the two goals of sexual union, but an offspring of this is cerainly the gratification from the unity with the other.

With pleasure as the main goal of sex, by use of contraception, you are eliminating the procreative aspect, and tarnishing the unitive aspect as you are telling a lie with your bodies (I give myself completely…except) and are in danger of using each other for your own pleasure.

On the flip side, it would be just as wrong to be having sex solely for the purpose of getting pregnant and denying the Unitive aspect with your spouse.
 
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