help with discernment

[cathyt]

I need help understanding the process of discernement. What prayers are helpful? What should be considered? How much should my own desires play into the decision?

Here’s the situation: my husband and I are young and sometimes, it seems, stupid. We’ve made some fly-by-the seat-of-your-pants decisions in the past but want to do better. We may have a chance at a new job situation for him that could be really good and that we are really hoping for, but it would require a move, which would mean I would quit my job working with young people, pretty much severing a lot of relationships we’ve been building here.

I am generally consumed by thinking of this possibility and I long for this opportunity, though right now it really is nothing more than a chance. I have been wanting to plead with God for it, but also feel worried I may not be submitting to His will enough. How can I balance a request of God with a desire to truly submitt?

 

[Eileen_T]

Here’s the situation: my husband and I are young and sometimes, it seems, stupid. We’ve made some fly-by-the seat-of-your-pants decisions in the past but want to do better. We may have a chance at a new job situation for him that could be really good and that we are really hoping for, but it would require a move, which would mean I would quit my job working with young people, pretty much severing a lot of relationships we’ve been building here.

I was in the reverse of this situation. I was offered a job working at a Catholic pro-life centre. It paid more than my husband was earning at the time and meant a move to another city.

I really, really wanted that job and I knew I could force the issue if necessary as my husband was doing casual work at that time.

Having prayed for discernment I turned it over to God and asked that the Holy Spirit give me the answer through my husband. I know it is not fashionable to accept the authority of our husband these days but i believe it is necessary.

If you surrender your Will to God freely, He will give you even greater blessings.

You don’t know if there are young people where you would be going whose lives you can touch even more than those you are working with at present. Turn it all over to God and let Him make the decision.

 

[Didi]

God already knows the desires of your heart, they are not secret to Him! Tell Him how you feel, what you want, what your fears and anxieties are. They tell Him that you will be open to whatever path He leads You on: “Thy will be done.” Ask Him to close all avenues that would not be beneficial to you or your husband and to open those that would allow for greater service to Him.

As you begin to feel anxious, or feel like things aren’t going your way, just pray “Jesus, I trust in You.”

Sometimes He takes us places we never would have gone on our own. We’ve had similar situations in our lives. One where we relocated 2000 miles away and barely got settled when we learned my husband’s job would be phased out over the next year. I was very angry at God and couldn’t understand why this was happening. Then one morning as I was brushing my teeth feeling sorry for myself, I heard a voice very clearly say "But think of how different your life would be if things always went the way you had it planned."

Wow! This was a true revelation to me. I wouldn’t have gotten married so young (just celebrated 21 years!), I wouldn’t have lived in half the places we’ve moved to, wouldn’t have accepted certain job promotions that led me to other opportunities, etc.

Even though you are young, sometimes looking back you can already see God’s hand leading you in ways you might not have chosen. ** Trust in Him!**

 

[LukeQ]

Sometimes our focus in prayer is to ask God to open doors for us, particularly is we are looking for work, marriage, a home etc.

The flip side is also possible when we are presented in our life with what appears to be options. We can pray for God to close doors that are not of His Will.

However, He may not close doors as He may want us to exercise our God given ability to discern.

It can be scarey to ask God to close doors…

Luke

 

[cathyt]

Thanks to all of you for the (name removed by moderator)ut and for sharing your own personal stories. That means a lot to me, actually.

I understand and appreciate the idea of asking God to close the right doors. (and yes, that is very scary, but I do trust Him so I will begin this prayer)

I would be happy to follow my husband, but I also know that he will be asking me to help decide with him. I don’t really know how to follow him and also help him through this.

I would appreciate your prayers as well.

 

[Didi]

One thing that my Dad taught me when making a decision is to list all the pros and cons of any choice. Write them out, look at them carefully, pray about them.

You might do the pros and cons of taking the new job and moving.

Then do the same of staying where you are.

Think about the list, add or subtract from it over the next couple of days, and see where the Lord is leading you.

Also remember that the relationships you have begun don’t have to end with a move. They will change, but don’t have to end – e-mail, phone, visits (depending upon how far away you’re moving).

We have lived in 4 different states throughout our marriage, and many of the friendships we made in each area have continued. In fact I made a really good friend in one state who, after we moved, gave our name to someone else moving to Oregon and this family and ours are now very good friends. Never would have happened had we not made that initial connection.

 

[fraggle]

if you want reading material to help you out, books by Father Thomas H. Green are very helpful.

and reading the advice of St. Teresa of Avila in finding a good spiritual director in her autobiography is also helpful.

 

[springbreeze]

Dear friend

You simply ask God for what you would like to petition Him for and then you say ‘Only if it is Your Will Lord’. Then you accept in love and joy whatever happens as it is His Will. Pray to the Holy Spirit and ask Him to fulfil His gifts in both of you.

Remember you are always exactly where the Lord would have you be. Trust in Him, trust in His Providence, do not think ahead too far, remain closely in the day you are in and leave your path to the Lord following Him, this way you will have no fears, worries or anxieties. If opportunities are for you, they will come along and you will embrace them, rather than you escape them they will not escape you.

Remaining in my prayers for God’s Will to be done in your lives.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa