Help with spiritual desolation

[MrsK0224]

Since COVID, my parish has been closed for Mass. I have been extremely disappointed in my local parish priest, the local diocese, and the usccb in general. At the beginning of COVID (and now) I felt like this virus was an evil infiltrating our world — I can’t think of a better word for something that has resulted in churches being closed for the better part of a YEAR at this point where I live. From my perspective, it has seemed like church leadership from the start has rolled over and basically said “ok, welp, nothing we can do” with very little acknowledgement that this is a terribly trying time for the faithful. It feels like my local priests are sending the message that it’s not that big of a deal to not receive the Eucharist and that we’ll just be ok with live-streamed Mass readings. If church leadership agrees that religion is no more than a hobby, it shakes my faith in everything.

Am I believer because it is TRUE, or am I a believer because I WANT it to be true? How can I put these doubts at ease? I am not at peace and I’m heartbroken over it all.

 

[al2o3]

I am sorry that you are feeling so despondent. No doubt you will be in my prayers this evening.

I have seen a similar post on this forum some time ago and yes, the loss of attendance at mass can be heartbreaking for many. I am reminded of Christ’s words - …give to Caesar what is Caesars and give to God what is Gods… As Catholics we are not called to break state laws and instruments - except in the most serious of moral decisions. Actions around COVID are to protect life of the most vulnerable and I expect the Bishops are doing their best in the circumstances. I would much rather our Bishops saved their fight for more serious of faith and moral battles with the secularism of the State.

Nevertheless, online services can never replace the truth and beauty of the Mass but we can rest assured this is Gods church - and we can take comfort that the gates of hell will never prevail. Lets offer our personal prayers for all those dealing with the effects of this contagious virus - which will eventually pass.

God Bless

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I know it’s miserable to be away from Mass for a long time. I am sure that the priests don’t like it either.

I pray for those who are suffering spiritually as a result of the virus, including yourself.

Think of this as a challenge from God. Are you really on his team? Can you carry this cross and join your sufferings to his? Pray every day and make spiritual communion, and then when Mass is available again, go as much as you can.

 

[bob4]

“Therefore, I bear with everything for the sake of those who are chosen, so that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, together with eternal glory. This saying is trustworthy: If we have died with him, we shall also live with him; if we persevere we shall also reign with him.” 2 Tm 2:10-12

Here is another verse which I find helpful in troublesome times:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Prv 3:5-6

 

[otjm]

You have cast the issue from your point of view:

It feels like my local priests are sending the message that it’s not that big of a deal to not receive the Eucharist and that we’ll just be ok with live-streamed Mass readings.

I am not sure what is driving your feelings; it would not apper that the reality of how contagious the virus is has any impact on your awareness.

It should come as no shock to anyone that the majority - and in some circumstances the great majority - of those attending Mass on a weekend are over 50; and many are into their 70’s and 80’s. These are the people who are most at risk of serious complications if they catch the virus, and the most likely to die from it.

Perhaps you have not heard of the complications some people get: my son-in-law’s cousin contracted it and she was bedridden for several weeks, and for at least 5 more weeks had recurrences of the fever and debilitation aches - and she was, prior to contracting it, “healthy as a horse” - out doing multiple hikes, active lifestyle. She still has not reached full recovery and the last I heard her doctor assured her she was likely to have permanent lung damage. All at the age of 40.

Many people get a light case or are asymptomatic; and it appears almost random as to how that is distributed - with the exception of the elderly. Try telling that to the families of the 194,530 who have died, and I suspect you will not get much sympathy.

I am in an area where we are able to have weekend Mass for up to 200 people (and we can actually have double that if they are willing to be on another room with the Mass live-streamed, and receive Communion as everyone else does). Not all of my state is in the same level; some are more restricted, and other states are in far worse conditions…

You can put the doubts at ease by looking at the reality of the disease and the results of it. It requires thinking of others, and the risk you may have to them as well as their risk to you, and stop projecting your feelings on the priests and bishops who are trying to do the best they can to protect their flocks.Another serious go-round of people contracting the virus and we could be looking at 300,000 deaths or more.

We can choose to concentrate on ourselves and how miserable we feel, or we can change our focus.

 

[MrsK0224]

I never said I wanted them to reopen Mass in spite of the virus. I never denied the reality of the virus.

I simply stated there has been zero spoken acknowledgement by my local priests regarding the spiritual devastation that is happening right now. For me included. So, I guess I am just feeling alone because I’m not hearing anyone talking about this.

And if I am alone, then I’m wondering whether I belong at all.

 

[otjm]

And if I am alone, then I’m wondering whether I belong at all.

I guess that gets down to whether or not this is the Church which Christ founded.

I would also point out that there are many areas of the world where someone might not have Mass on a regular basis; it was noted that in Brazil there are many Catholics in the outlying areas who are lucky to see a priest once a year. For many in the US, we re blessed with having a parish within maybe 15 to 25 minutes distance.

My pastor has spoken openly a number of times about what a trial it is to not have his parish together for Mass; I have my doubts he is singular in that feeling; and our Archbishop has expressed, perhaps in prose a bit more eloquently, the sacrifices we are called to make.

I am sorry if I am a bit harsh; we are all struggling. But projecting a lack of care onto our clergy does not sit well with me; we need to be outward looking and supporting one another, not suggesting that those in whose care we are (pastors and bishops) care not.

If church leadership agrees that religion is no more than a hobby, it shakes my faith in everything.

Sorry, but that tripped my trigger. We hear only when we listen, and if we are stewing in our own juices, we will not hear of the pain of others.

 

[MrsK0224]

I guess that gets down to whether or not this is the Church which Christ founded.

Jesus said that unless you eat my body and drink my blood, you have no life in you. If this is true then there are a whole lot of people dying spiritually, through no fault of their own but because they aren’t allowed communion. Or is what Jesus said not true? Do I have less life in me now or not?

If what you said is true and all I really need to do is buck up and see it from someone else’s perspective, then I’m not really dying spiritually from lack of the sacraments — I’m just being a baby. But that in turn implies that Jesus didn’t mean what he said. It can’t be both ways, can it?

I’m either dying spiritually to save other people’s physical bodies (perhaps arguably a noble cause), or I’m not dying spiritually and Christianity is a sham. I don’t see other options. Again I’m not proposing a change right now in protocol, I’m merely making an observation which follows a line of thinking that has brought me to where I am now in my faith journey.

I am understanding that my crisis of faith is very upsetting to you. I can assure you it is far more upsetting to me than it is to you.

What I was hoping to find was some resources/materials that might be helpful for someone on the brink of giving up my faith in Christianity entirely. Now I have myself convinced that I have been a believer solely because I WANT Christianity to be true, but I’m not so sure if it really IS true.

Being angry with me for having such fractured faith is not exactly the healing balm I was hoping to find. I don’t feel God’s presence. I’m trying to read the Bible but I don’t feel God. He is silent. And this silence makes me wonder if he really was ever there at all.

 

[al2o3]

I simply stated there has been zero spoken acknowledgement by my local priests

Thankfully, our parish priest has spoken and is sensitive to the spiritual effects of the lock down.

And if I am alone, then I’m wondering whether I belong at all.

I am sure many on this forum also feel the loss of attendance at Mass - you are definitely not alone.

Many prayers for God to bless you with His companionship during this difficult time for you.

 

[bob4]

I don’t feel God’s presence. I’m trying to read the Bible but I don’t feel God. He is silent. And this silence makes me wonder if he really was ever there at all.

Saints have experienced times of spiritual dryness or darkness. Don’t you think it possible that in extraordinary times God provides us with extraordinary graces? Do you think that perhaps at least some of those graces come from all of the times we received the Body of Christ in the Eucharist? That these graces sustain us through protracted difficulties such as we are experiencing at present?
See the words of St. Paul in Ephesians; “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.”
What a powerful statement!
Think about people who were prisoners of war or political prisoners who were unable to receive Christ in the Eucharist for months or years; yet they survived physically and spiritually.
Focus on Christ who said, “Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened to you.”
Remember, Christ has said this; take him at his word for he will not abandon us. Listen to what Isaiah says in 41:10; “Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”
We all need to pray for peace, hope, trust and faith and to pray for one another.

 

[MrsK0224]

Thank you for this.

 

[otjm]

I don’t feel God’s presence. I’m trying to read the Bible but I don’t feel God. He is silent. And this silence makes me wonder if he really was ever there at all.

Mother Theresa spent a significant part of her life, and particularly that last part of it in the same situation.
Christianity is not a sham; but Christ never promised a cakewalk, either. I understand this virus crisis is hard on you; I can’t imagine it being any other way on the cast majority of those who have been separated fromt he Eucharist. It is hard. I get it.

When I was a little kid and I groused about things, my grandmother - born in the 1800’s - would tell me "Offer it up (for the poor souls). This is a perfect opportunity. Don’t let it pass you by.

 

[umamibella]

Since COVID, my parish has been closed for Mass. I have been extremely disappointed in my local parish priest, the local diocese, and the usccb in general. At the beginning of COVID (and now) I felt like this virus was an evil infiltrating our world — I can’t think of a better word for something that has resulted in churches being closed for the better part of a YEAR at this point where I live. From my perspective, it has seemed like church leadership from the start has rolled over and basically said “ok, welp, nothing we can do” with very little acknowledgement that this is a terribly trying time for the faithful. It feels like my local priests are sending the message that it’s not that big of a deal to not receive the Eucharist and that we’ll just be ok with live-streamed Mass readings. If church leadership agrees that religion is no more than a hobby, it shakes my faith in everything.

Am I believer because it is TRUE, or am I a believer because I WANT it to be true? How can I put these doubts at ease? I am not at peace and I’m heartbroken over it all.

If you are in Victoria the Bishops and Archbishops are in consultation with the Victorian government to get us back to Mass now some parts of the lockdown are easing. We all got a lovely letter from our Bishop on Wednesday detailing the steps being taken to get us back to Mass.

I pray these discussions prove fruitful.

 

[Dlee]

I simply stated there has been zero spoken acknowledgement by my local priests regarding the spiritual devastation that is happening right now. For me included. So, I guess I am just feeling alone because I’m not hearing anyone talking about this.

Has there been any communication from your Bishop? In my diocese, we get information from the Bishop first regarding Covid issues, then my parish priest follows up. I don’t know if you have a weekly bulletin, but ours has continued to publish and post on the parish web site. I’ve been able to return to Mass with restricts and it’s is amazing to be back, though limited. It is worth the wait. There really isn’t much a parish priest can do right now if they are closed for Covid (live stream, etc.) I’ve started a couple of Bible Studies through Ascension (Church Fathers) Jeff Cavins, Scott Hahn, etc. I find that if I keep challenging my mind with the things of God and our faith, it helps fill the void.

 

[al2o3]

Has there been any communication from your Bishop?

The Bishop has been quite communicative - both through during his own celebration of mass online - but also through the parish priest. We are back to mass now but the numbers are limited by registration - however, the parish celebrates additional masses on sundays to accomodate peoples attendance.

 

[mary77]

your relationship with God has not been interrupted only attending the church.