Long and short of it- our YM is falling apart. Too many adult egos fighting, stonewalling each other, ect. Since my son is a member I have heard complaints from both the teens and their parents in confidentially what they don’t like, what the problems are ect. What they are saying is the truth. Myself and 7 other adults can not make this work for the kids and there is only about 5-6 coming regularly. We are teaming with the kids for a retreat for younger students and had a lock in recently and did not foster any type of teaming and in fact since there was basically no preparation and the teens were yelled at. The majority are not going to join the YM and in fact one of the strongest current members went to a different YM tonight (I was told this by his mother). I usually just stay in the background but this has been weighing heavy on my heart. When I come up with ideas I am stonewalled, can’t get the leader to return emails ect. So it stays the same because of the adults (and I include myself in this) and these kids suffer. The leader is one of our priests and I am friends with the other adults so I don’t know what to do. Should I be more forceful? I feel even if I voice the concerns I have or even by not mentioning names but situations others have voiced to me I am betraying trust or will hurt others’ feelings. Any advice?
You are dealing with a very difficult situation and you have my sympathy and prayers. It sounds like a highly dysfunctional group.
I don’t know if I can be of much help, but I will offer a couple of comments on your posts. First of all, one reason that your leader is not returning e-mails may be that he is overloaded with work as it is. Perhaps there needs to be someone to take in and organize information for him.
As for “voicing concerns” and “betraying trusts”, you might be able to get around this by putting together a “Plan of Action to address declining attendance” (or some other appropriate title). In this plan of action you could outline certain issues (declining attendance, unfruitful meetings etc), list possible causes for these (insufficent planning, inconvenient schedules etc.) and offer possible solutions.
Then, at the end of the report, suggest some possible goals such as raising attendance etc.
It is important to put this together in an upbeat, non-confrontational way. Try to avoid “ruffling feathers” by wording the report in such a way that, if someone did take offence, it would be on their own “interpretation” and not on what you have actually written.
Try to assure that people see that it is the kids and the goal of building faith that is important, not your ego or anyone elses.
If you do this though, be prepared to take on a lot. It will likely fall to you to implement, support, and “drive through” the improvements that you see as being needed. This will require a great deal of time on your part, as well as building relationships and breaking down barriers between people.
All it all it could prove to be a most rewarding experience in “faith building” - If you are up to the challenge.
Peace
James
