Help

  • Thread starter Thread starter cheechtag
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

cheechtag

Guest
I have done 2 things in my life I really regret. Neither one hurt anyone but myself. Not as in pain of my body, but as in pain of my soul. I never go to mass anymore but I still try to live my life in respect to God, minus going to church. I know in my heart I will never confess to a priest about these matters. However, I ask silently in my prayers for forgiveness concerning this often. Is this good enough for God or is there something else I should do? Remember, I can’t confess aloud to anyone about this.
 
40.png
cheechtag:
I have done 2 things in my life I really regret. Neither one hurt anyone but myself. Not as in pain of my body, but as in pain of my soul. I never go to mass anymore but I still try to live my life in respect to God, minus going to church. I know in my heart I will never confess to a priest about these matters. However, I ask silently in my prayers for forgiveness concerning this often. Is this good enough for God or is there something else I should do? Remember, I can’t confess aloud to anyone about this.
Click to expand...
I think you should re-think your problem. You’ve already taken the solution off the table.

As a first step, take this question to your confessor – ask him about the problem. You may find it easier to confess if you talk about your fears first.

If you don’t go to mass, it might be easier for you if you are talking to a priest you don’t know.
 
40.png
cheechtag:
I have done 2 things in my life I really regret. Neither one hurt anyone but myself. Not as in pain of my body, but as in pain of my soul. I never go to mass anymore but I still try to live my life in respect to God, minus going to church. I know in my heart I will never confess to a priest about these matters. However, I ask silently in my prayers for forgiveness concerning this often. Is this good enough for God or is there something else I should do? Remember, I can’t confess aloud to anyone about this.
Click to expand...
I’m only in RCIA so I might be wrong about this, but it seems to me like you might be sinning against the Holy Spirit. 😦 I’ve read that to sin against the Holy Spirit is to refuse God’s forgiveness. It could be that you’re refusing God’s forgiveness by refusing to go to confession.

I hope someone else comments on this in case I am wrong.

At the same time, I think I can understand how you feel. I grew up an atheist and did many terrible things. I am now in RCIA and will have my first confession (was baptized when I was a kid) in a month. I feel very worried about telling my sins to my priest those things about me.because I have talked to him a lot and I don’t want him to know

I’m afraid that after I tell him he will think I’m dirty and evil.

At the same time, I also think that once I tell him (and I plan to tell him in detail), the guilt will leave. I know I’m not the same person anymore. I have been doing my best not to sin. I want to confess all these sins, put them behind me, and live my life for God.

Maybe you could drive somewhere far from where you live and to a distant Catholic Church, confess your sins, drive back home and be at peace?
 
Thank you, that was nice to hear. At least I don’t feel alone in doing what I once did a long time ago. (I would never even think about doing anything like that again). That was 30 years ago. I’m 50 now. I guess I just want the easy way out.
 
40.png
cheechtag:
Thank you, that was nice to hear. At least I don’t feel alone in doing what I once did a long time ago. (I would never even think about doing anything like that again). That was 30 years ago. I’m 50 now. I guess I just want the easy way out.
Click to expand...
30 years is a long time to suffer. 😦 I don’t think this is what Jesus wanted for us when He died on the cross so that people like you and me could repent and start living for Him.

I am really comforted when I think of how Jesus prayed for the very people who were crucifying Him. It’s really comforting to know that Jesus did not come only for the people who never did anything evil, but rather specifically for the people who were doing evil things.

All sins can be forgiven except non-repentance. Please, please go to confession. Go somewhere far away from where you live. Do it anonymously. You’ll never see the priest you confess to. He’ll never see you again and will never know who you are. And you will have absolution and peace.
 
Everyone here has been where you’ve been. We’ve all committed sins that we are deeply ashamed of.

When I teach adults in RCIA, the greatest fear they have is confession. I tell them, “In the confessional, talk about what bothers you.”

I have yet to lose anyone – and virtually all of them come out smiling, with a great weight lifted from their shoulders.

I recommend you read “Angela’s Ashes.” Frank McCort, while a young man had an affair with a girl who had tuberculosis and she died. He was in agony, since she died with a mortal sin (their affair) on her soul. He couldn’t go to confession.

He did go into church and sat in front of a statue of Saint Francis (his namesake.) One day, a priest, seeing that he seemed to be troubled, stopped and talked to him. Eventually the whole thing came out. The priest reassured him – the girl died in a Catholic hospital and the nuns would never let her die with a sin on her soul.

Read the book, and rent the movie (you can’t understand the movie unless you’ve read the book first.) See if you aren’t moved when the priest stands to go, and quietly says, “Ego te absolvo.” (“I absolve you.”)
 
I, too, did things years ago that I don’t reveal. It hurts my heart when I think about it. I came into the church about 3 years ago and had to confess it to my parish priest. I cried during that confession. I have cried in other confessions because I was so sorry at offending Jesus. It just broke my heart but in telling the priest, I was telling Jesus who was speaking through the priest. I was forgiven and I walked out of there lighter.

The devil does not want you to go to confession (or mass).

Think about that.
 
You can confess it. You can do it. It is worth anything, any price at all, any relived pain or shame or sorrow, to receive the healing gift of Absolution and to return to God’s friendship. There is no reason on Earth to withhold your burden from God, who in His Son longs to forgive you and to love you. Do not let the evil one tell you lies. Go tomorrow and get this done and be freed from your prison.
 
40.png
Cherub:
You can confess it. You can do it. It is worth anything, any price at all, any relived pain or shame or sorrow, to receive the healing gift of Absolution and to return to God’s friendship. There is no reason on Earth to withhold your burden from God, who in His Son longs to forgive you and to love you. Do not let the evil one tell you lies. Go tomorrow and get this done and be freed from your prison.
Click to expand...
IMHO, you’re right about that.

Cheechtag originally wrote:
I have done 2 things in my life I really regret. Neither one hurt anyone but myself. Not as in pain of my body, but as in pain of my soul. I never go to mass anymore but I still try to live my life in respect to God, minus going to church. I know in my heart I will never confess to a priest about these matters. However, I ask silently in my prayers for forgiveness concerning this often. Is this good enough for God or is there something else I should do? Remember, I can’t confess aloud to anyone about this.
Click to expand...
Talking to Jesus on a personal level is a Protestant thing to do. And allthough this may lift the burden of sin for Protestants, cheechtag, I get the feeling by your post this kind of direct confession wouldn’t satisfy you spiritually. If I’m right, try to find a priest who doesn’t know you and confess your troubles to him. It might relieve you from this burden you’ve been carrying around for 30 years. After you have done this, I sincerely hope you can breathe, smile and rejoice life once again 🙂
 
Priests are trained to try to make people comfortable in confession (the Sacrament of Reconciliation). You may be surprised that most confessionals still have a screen where you can confess anonymously. Also, you don’t always have to be 100% explicit in describing your sins. I’m sure a typical priest has heard everything someone could do and heard it described in various ways. You will be plesantly surprised how the weight is lifted from your shoulders after the priest reads the beautiful words of absolution:
***“God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit”.
***Prayer of Absolution
 
we are burying from our parish tomorrow the sister of one of my catechists. the sister was diagnosed with cancer several years ago (it is a type of tumor that runs in their family) but refused to have surgery that could have removed it entirely when it was small. By last year it had grown to the point that surgery was impossible, chemo shrank it slightly, but it grew even faster afterward.

the healing is there ready for you any time you decide to ask for it. Jesus gave us His priests to forgive our sins. If we, in our pride, think our sins are worse than anybody else’s, and hug our sins to ourselves, refusing to hand them over to Jesus, He cannot extend this healing to us.
 
40.png
cheechtag:
I have done 2 things in my life I really regret. Neither one hurt anyone but myself. Not as in pain of my body, but as in pain of my soul. I never go to mass anymore but I still try to live my life in respect to God, minus going to church. I know in my heart I will never confess to a priest about these matters. However, I ask silently in my prayers for forgiveness concerning this often. Is this good enough for God or is there something else I should do? Remember, I can’t confess aloud to anyone about this.
Click to expand...
If you feel uncomfortable, go to a parish out of town or something where you’ll never go again. The confessional is totally anonymous, the priest will never see you and you won’t see him. You’ll feel so good when you come out, you won’t be able to stop smiling. It is such an unbelievable feeling to walk out of the confessional. No matter what you’ve done, I’m sure the priest has heard it before or worse. Explain to him that you have not been to Mass in a while but you want to get some things off your conscience. He’ll be very supportive and positive. I remember when I went to confession awhile back after not going for years, the priest was so enthusiastic and positive. He was so happy I was making confession part of my life again. Priests live for helping people just like you.
 
Seriously anything you could have done the priest has already heard many many times over. There were things that I had done in my life that I didn’t think that I would ever be able to confess to a priest but I did, just go and make the words come out, trust me you will feel alot better! I will pray for you.
 
40.png
cheechtag:
I have done 2 things in my life I really regret. Neither one hurt anyone but myself. Not as in pain of my body, but as in pain of my soul. I never go to mass anymore but I still try to live my life in respect to God, minus going to church. I know in my heart I will never confess to a priest about these matters. However, I ask silently in my prayers for forgiveness concerning this often. Is this good enough for God or is there something else I should do? Remember, I can’t confess aloud to anyone about this.
Click to expand...
You can confess to a priest about these matters and you must. When the priest absolves you of your sins, it is really Christ Himself who is forgiving you. Do not be embarrassed about confessing difficult sins - believe me the priest has probably heard them all before. Nothing compares to that wonderful feeling of forgiveness when the priest does absolve you of your sins - you will feel like you are on cloud nine and that the weight of the world has been lifted! My advice is to start going to Mass again at least every Sunday and go to confession and relieve your burdens - you won’t regret it! I will pray for you.
 
40.png
cheechtag:
I have done 2 things in my life I really regret. Neither one hurt anyone but myself. Not as in pain of my body, but as in pain of my soul. I never go to mass anymore but I still try to live my life in respect to God, minus going to church. I know in my heart I will never confess to a priest about these matters. However, I ask silently in my prayers for forgiveness concerning this often. Is this good enough for God or is there something else I should do? Remember, I can’t confess aloud to anyone about this.
Click to expand...
Don’t be ashamed. Shame is the work of the devil. King David had a man killed so he could commit adultery with his wife, Bathsheba- he repented- his prayer of repentence is Psalm 51.

The soul is dead when in a state of mortal sin. That means it cannot gain anything for itself. The soul is also very vulnerable, when in a state of mortal sin, to more sins.

A priest cannot tell anyone what you have told him in confession. He also is not allowed to speak to you about it outside of confession.

I think you know the right thing to do. Telling our faults to someone else isn’t natural- it takes grace. Please pray for the strength and grace to make a good confession. I promise you- you will not be disappointed

Michael
 
Say a prayer, find a priest friend, and confess, regardless of consequences.
 
Cheechtag, I know how you feel. I came back into the Church two years ago after being away since I was 9. Two Easters ago, at 22, I was received back into the church through confirmation. The confession I made before the Easter Vigil was very superficial, consisting only of venial sins. It was over a year until I came to terms with the other sins in my life, mainly the the use of birth control. I made a confession once I stopped using birth control, and it was one of the most freeing experiences of my life. Unfortunately, I still had not come to terms with all my sins out of embarrassment and shame, and avoided confessing them. I recently went to a different parish for confession. I have a personal relationship with my priest, and was embarrassed to go to him. The priest I saw said that anonymity is fine. I am now free of mortal sin for the first time in my life and it is the most wonderful feeling! The power of forgiveness is the most amazing gift we as Catholics have been given by the Lord. You can pray and ask for forgiveness all you want, but you’ll likely never have the same freedom as through confession because you do not KNOW if you’ve really been forgiven. We will all be praying for you! :blessyou:
 
40.png
cheechtag:
I have done 2 things in my life I really regret. Neither one hurt anyone but myself.
Click to expand...
Actually, cheechtag, you’re wrong about this. Your sins hurt the whole Church. We are all bound together as the Body of Christ extended in space and time, so that which hurts you, hurts the rest of us; and that which hurts any of us, hurts you also. When you confess your sins in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, even though it is the most private and secret thing you can imagine, you are reconciled with the whole Church. In some mysterious way, it is a public act which brings you back to life and back into the life of the Church. The Church is not complete without you - please confess these secret sins and come back to us!

Betsy
 
40.png
cheechtag:
I have done 2 things in my life I really regret. Neither one hurt anyone but myself. Not as in pain of my body, but as in pain of my soul. I never go to mass anymore but I still try to live my life in respect to God, minus going to church. I know in my heart I will never confess to a priest about these matters. However, I ask silently in my prayers for forgiveness concerning this often. Is this good enough for God or is there something else I should do? Remember, I can’t confess aloud to anyone about this.
Click to expand...
I guess we all think we have the most terrible sins. I guess some of us are terrifies to confess our sins to a Priest. If we do confess to a Priests, even though we are terrified - we are showing God that we love Him more than we love ourselves.

In 1st John1:9 we are told if we confess our sins, they WILL be forgiven! I have done just what you are doing. I did it for maybe 7 years, then I went into the church alone and asked for the Holy Spirit to help me have the courage to confess.

I then made an appointment with the Pastor. He asked me to confess in his office - face to face. I did ! And when he gave me absolution, I walked out so relieved, so thankful. I felt so stupid for having dodged confession for so long.

Holy Mother Church, The Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ love you and want you to enjoy the fullness of the Church. Give up, you can’t fight God and win, confess.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top