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I’ve been in your situation and am glad your are moving forward. I stayed thinking that it was a fluke and was nearly killed. Knowing what you are going thru I’ll be praying special prayers for you.
 
Last night he and I indirectly talked through mood messages on our yahoo. We are both going for peace at this point. He says he still loves me but we both agree we can’t stay married. He is unwilling to look at his actions and therefore it is impossible to have any kind of intervention. Maybe with time and distance there will be a friendship but right now there is a lot of emotion. It is rough but God will get us through it.
 
Sending an e-Hug your way. Just know that being safe still hurts, I’ve been there. But it’s mor important than staying and getting worse treatment.
 
Luke_K said:
This doesn’t feel like the thread for me to post in, and I will not offer any advice to the OP. I am only a young man, but some of the comments here are confusing to me.

All the women here say that once he gets physical- it’s done. Get out. Now I can’t tell Joan not to do this because like I said, I’m just a young man, but I feel like I need to share my experience.

When I was very young my dad would get physical with me, my siblings, and my mother, and we would cry about it afterwards. I held a grudge against my dad for many years because of this. But my mother stuck with him, and my dad has become a much better man and has control over his emotions now. Had my mother taken the advice you people are giving, I would not have the great man I have for a father today, and the world would have another broken family. My mom and dad recently celebrated their 25th anniversary.

I understand that Joan has to be concerned for her safety, and I’ll say again that I can’t tell her that what she is doing is wrong.

But the advice here seems to be that marriages aren’t supposed to survive through things like this. My parents’ marriage did, and we’re better off because my mom stuck through it. Do you people think that it was a bad thing for my mom to forgive and stay committed to my father even after he physically abused my family?

Some of this advice just seems un-Christian. I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone. I’m just trying to offer some experience for perspective. I’m not telling the OP what to do. :o
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It’s a great thing that it worked out for your family.

I think the issue and the reason why so many of us are saying “get out”, is that in the majority of cases like this things don’t get better, they only get worse. In some cases they escalate to serious physical injury and even death for the woman.

The OP’s husband later blamed his physical violence on something she said, seems not to be acknowledging the grave evil of his actions, and is not interested in getting help. These are bad signs.

I don’t think it would be Christian for her to risk her safety and even life to remain with this man.

Even if there are some men who are able to change, most don’t. That is just the unfortunate truth when dealing men who are violent. It is better for her if she gets an annulment and looks for a good man to have a family with.
 
Good news everyone- and thank you for your prayers. A miracle has occurred. We both rescinded the restraining orders and talked to each other as well as to my parents. I discussed with him the definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and he was open to the fact that he may have delusions and he may have been very wrong. We are starting counseling on Friday. While he is not yet moving back in we have put our rings back on and will be attending mass together. This is a good start. He also will be making a public apology to me to his students (he teaches a hobby to adult students for a job) for things he said about me which is a major step in humility. I feel that these steps could have only been taken through God’s intervention and the power of The Holy Spirit.
 
joandarc2008 said:
Good news everyone- and thank you for your prayers. A miracle has occurred. We both rescinded the restraining orders and talked to each other as well as to my parents. I discussed with him the definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and he was open to the fact that he may have delusions and he may have been very wrong. We are starting counseling on Friday. While he is not yet moving back in we have put our rings back on and will be attending mass together. This is a good start. He also will be making a public apology to me to his students (he teaches a hobby to adult students for a job) for things he said about me which is a major step in humility. I feel that these steps could have only been taken through God’s intervention and the power of The Holy Spirit.
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That is great news! I am so glad to hear things will be going better between the 2 of you! God makes miracles happen every day! God bless!
 
Update- things are actually going pretty well. My dh broke down the other and told me some things from his childhood that he has not told anyone and asked me if he could come to mass with me this Sunday which was good since it was the healing mass. He felt a lot better. God works in mysterious ways. Thanks all for your prayers - I would not have had the strength to do this on my own.
 
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