D
dljohnston65
Guest
Sorry to be so vague in my title but it sums up how I feel atm. First a bit of background is needed. I am 43 and married and am currently a seminarian (1st year) which was going to serve in the ELCA. Due to the decision of the ELCA to endorse and promote gay clergy I can no longer in good faith be a part of this church.
Another aspect of my decision was my increasing disagreement with Lutheran theology as a whole. Basically the more I studied it the more apparent it became that it is a faith system that reverts to relativism and ultimately universalism. I had been allowed to participate in Holy Week services and was able to give the Supper to the church. It was such a powerful moment that I was literally in tears and I have never felt so humbled and loved by God as in that moment. I am tearing up while writing this. I saw Our Lord in the hands of the people who were receiving the bread and in their eyes I saw the humanity that Christ died to save. I have never felt more sure of my calling as I had at that moment.
I have been heartsick and quite honestly devastated in the decision of the ELCA. I have been talking to a co worker who is a Catholic and we have been having some wonderful conversations. I have attended Mass and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. I have also read the Adult Catechism and am working through some of my very misunderstood beliefs about the Catholic Church. Originally coming from a Southern Baptist (and very fundamentalist) background where any liturgy was considered to be something to avoid I find myself in love with liturgy and my experience in the faith much deeper because of it.
I guess the heart of my issue is conversion and my call to serve as a priest. I am worried that I have spent the last 6 years of my life in school for nothing. While it is true my faith is much deeper and as I look back I can see the education I received caused me to search harder for God, I am at a point in which I feel honestly lost. I can foresee the problems with family at this choice. My wife is fine with converting but our families will literally disown us. This is causing me great pain at the thought. I know Scripture tells us that we will be rewarded for our loss but to be honest it is not really comforting at this point.
My other worry is being accepted into a Catholic Seminary after establishing myself in the Church. I still want to serve in the pulpit and I believe that God can and will use me to his end. However I am not the most eloquent or the best at being politically correct. I think one should never weaken the message of Gods love and the result of ignoring his will for us. And there is also the issue of entering a faith system of which it seems we know so little about. It really seems odd to say that but it is what it is. I feel almost like a person who has never been inside a church before. It is somewhat frightening and may be hard for those of you who are life long Catholics.
I’m sorry if I am rambling. It is 6:30 am and I have been unable to sleep with the thoughts of all of this in my head. I am grateful for them however because I think that wrestling with such a thing as faith should cause a few nights of missed sleep. Thanks for taking the time to read this and God Bless you all.
Another aspect of my decision was my increasing disagreement with Lutheran theology as a whole. Basically the more I studied it the more apparent it became that it is a faith system that reverts to relativism and ultimately universalism. I had been allowed to participate in Holy Week services and was able to give the Supper to the church. It was such a powerful moment that I was literally in tears and I have never felt so humbled and loved by God as in that moment. I am tearing up while writing this. I saw Our Lord in the hands of the people who were receiving the bread and in their eyes I saw the humanity that Christ died to save. I have never felt more sure of my calling as I had at that moment.
I have been heartsick and quite honestly devastated in the decision of the ELCA. I have been talking to a co worker who is a Catholic and we have been having some wonderful conversations. I have attended Mass and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. I have also read the Adult Catechism and am working through some of my very misunderstood beliefs about the Catholic Church. Originally coming from a Southern Baptist (and very fundamentalist) background where any liturgy was considered to be something to avoid I find myself in love with liturgy and my experience in the faith much deeper because of it.
I guess the heart of my issue is conversion and my call to serve as a priest. I am worried that I have spent the last 6 years of my life in school for nothing. While it is true my faith is much deeper and as I look back I can see the education I received caused me to search harder for God, I am at a point in which I feel honestly lost. I can foresee the problems with family at this choice. My wife is fine with converting but our families will literally disown us. This is causing me great pain at the thought. I know Scripture tells us that we will be rewarded for our loss but to be honest it is not really comforting at this point.
My other worry is being accepted into a Catholic Seminary after establishing myself in the Church. I still want to serve in the pulpit and I believe that God can and will use me to his end. However I am not the most eloquent or the best at being politically correct. I think one should never weaken the message of Gods love and the result of ignoring his will for us. And there is also the issue of entering a faith system of which it seems we know so little about. It really seems odd to say that but it is what it is. I feel almost like a person who has never been inside a church before. It is somewhat frightening and may be hard for those of you who are life long Catholics.
I’m sorry if I am rambling. It is 6:30 am and I have been unable to sleep with the thoughts of all of this in my head. I am grateful for them however because I think that wrestling with such a thing as faith should cause a few nights of missed sleep. Thanks for taking the time to read this and God Bless you all.