M
Matthias123
Guest
I was wondering if you guys could help me on an issue. For the last few years I had fallen away from my faith. Just about a month ago I started reading this forum. It was a big shocker.
I went though catechism between grade 5 - 8 and I think they failed to explain how strict Catholicism really is. I would speculate that they did not want to scare us. (But that is another story) (I am 17 years old)
I found my self reading for hours on end, soaking up information like a sponge. Have you ever felt that you were totally overwhelmed with information but find it so refreshingly addictive to learn? That is what it felt like. Before long I decided it was about time to repent and rejoin the flock.
During my absence from the faith I found myself participating in masturbation and many other sexually impure activities. I didn’t see anything wrong with these because they were accepted by society and therefore I considered them as normal. Then one day I decided to look up the Catholic interpretation of it, well I can’t say it was really a shocker (I had a feeling it was frowned upon, that is why I looked it up) and I discovered it was a mortal sin. My first reaction was denial. I thought they were in error. I believed that the Church had made an error, and I continued to masturbate. This was not the first time I did this, I spent such a long time outside of the faith I started to believe that the people in Rome didn’t know what they were talking about. I think at that time I failed to understand that the Church is truth, and it cannot be wrong. (I was probably taught this in catechism but I have since forgotten)
I decided repent and rejoin the church. But at the time I repented I don’t think I fully understood the concept of heresy or schism. I think I thought heresy was like believing something crazy like Bill Clinton is the reincarnation of Mary or something along those lines. When I thought of heresy I thought of witches and crazy people burning at the stake. I also didn’t really understand schism until today. I knew that there was a schism between the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church but that was about it. But don’t get me wrong there is no excuse for either of these. How can you not know that rejecting the Church is wrong? I just would like you to understand my thinking at the time to help you with your response.
Anyways I went to confession, and confessed all of my sins that I could think of at that time. (I wrote a big list on a piece of paper) The heresy and schism stuff were not there because I was not aware of this at the time. At the end of my list I added “and for all the sins I have forgotten”.
(This is another thing I found weird. I was never taught in catechism that I had to confess past mortal sins or sins that I later found out were mortal. I was taught to say my sins and to add on “and all the sins I have forgotten” and everything was forgiven as long as I didn’t hold back a mortal sin on purpose.)
The priest assured me that I was forgiven and assured me that if I remember any more sins later, I am forgiven. I have made about 3 confessions since then. Usually every week, sometimes once every two weeks.
For some reason about 3 weeks later I thought that I may have committed heresy popped into my mind. It may have been triggered by something I read on this forum. Perhaps I read a definition of heresy and that is where I got the thought. But I decided to research it and I decided that since I thought masturbation was not a sin and I questioned the authority of the pope I must be guilty of the sin of heresy.
“the willful and persistent rejection of any article of faith by a baptized member of the church.”
But I know I had already been forgiven for this sin because I didn’t intentionally omit it from a confession. So I thought I would confess it at my next confession, I figured I owed it to god.
I think I recently fell from grace from some other issues, so I decided to wake up early and go to morning confession. I got there are I was told by somebody that the Father was on a retreat and he would not be there until 9:30AM. I had to be at school at 9AM so that didn’t work. I was rather disappointed because I really wanted to be forgiven so I could take the host on Sunday. Now I am going to my Grandmothers house on Saturday after my Grad pictures. She has a medical condition with her foot, and she has a hard time carrying groceries home. So me and my family are going to help her go shopping. I will not be able to attend Saturday confession before mass on Sunday.
So when I came home today (or I might have read this yesterday I don’t remember) I read that heresy and schism result in automatic excommunication. This rather disturbed me.
I went though catechism between grade 5 - 8 and I think they failed to explain how strict Catholicism really is. I would speculate that they did not want to scare us. (But that is another story) (I am 17 years old)
I found my self reading for hours on end, soaking up information like a sponge. Have you ever felt that you were totally overwhelmed with information but find it so refreshingly addictive to learn? That is what it felt like. Before long I decided it was about time to repent and rejoin the flock.
During my absence from the faith I found myself participating in masturbation and many other sexually impure activities. I didn’t see anything wrong with these because they were accepted by society and therefore I considered them as normal. Then one day I decided to look up the Catholic interpretation of it, well I can’t say it was really a shocker (I had a feeling it was frowned upon, that is why I looked it up) and I discovered it was a mortal sin. My first reaction was denial. I thought they were in error. I believed that the Church had made an error, and I continued to masturbate. This was not the first time I did this, I spent such a long time outside of the faith I started to believe that the people in Rome didn’t know what they were talking about. I think at that time I failed to understand that the Church is truth, and it cannot be wrong. (I was probably taught this in catechism but I have since forgotten)
I decided repent and rejoin the church. But at the time I repented I don’t think I fully understood the concept of heresy or schism. I think I thought heresy was like believing something crazy like Bill Clinton is the reincarnation of Mary or something along those lines. When I thought of heresy I thought of witches and crazy people burning at the stake. I also didn’t really understand schism until today. I knew that there was a schism between the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church but that was about it. But don’t get me wrong there is no excuse for either of these. How can you not know that rejecting the Church is wrong? I just would like you to understand my thinking at the time to help you with your response.
Anyways I went to confession, and confessed all of my sins that I could think of at that time. (I wrote a big list on a piece of paper) The heresy and schism stuff were not there because I was not aware of this at the time. At the end of my list I added “and for all the sins I have forgotten”.
(This is another thing I found weird. I was never taught in catechism that I had to confess past mortal sins or sins that I later found out were mortal. I was taught to say my sins and to add on “and all the sins I have forgotten” and everything was forgiven as long as I didn’t hold back a mortal sin on purpose.)
The priest assured me that I was forgiven and assured me that if I remember any more sins later, I am forgiven. I have made about 3 confessions since then. Usually every week, sometimes once every two weeks.
For some reason about 3 weeks later I thought that I may have committed heresy popped into my mind. It may have been triggered by something I read on this forum. Perhaps I read a definition of heresy and that is where I got the thought. But I decided to research it and I decided that since I thought masturbation was not a sin and I questioned the authority of the pope I must be guilty of the sin of heresy.
“the willful and persistent rejection of any article of faith by a baptized member of the church.”
But I know I had already been forgiven for this sin because I didn’t intentionally omit it from a confession. So I thought I would confess it at my next confession, I figured I owed it to god.
I think I recently fell from grace from some other issues, so I decided to wake up early and go to morning confession. I got there are I was told by somebody that the Father was on a retreat and he would not be there until 9:30AM. I had to be at school at 9AM so that didn’t work. I was rather disappointed because I really wanted to be forgiven so I could take the host on Sunday. Now I am going to my Grandmothers house on Saturday after my Grad pictures. She has a medical condition with her foot, and she has a hard time carrying groceries home. So me and my family are going to help her go shopping. I will not be able to attend Saturday confession before mass on Sunday.
So when I came home today (or I might have read this yesterday I don’t remember) I read that heresy and schism result in automatic excommunication. This rather disturbed me.
AMEN! You are an inspiration and to see a 17yr. old so committed to participating in the faith with a true heart is so very exciting to all of us here on this thread!! Just remember that when you confess with a contrite heart you are forgiven! We all sin and have made many mistakes before realizing what we were doing was mortal sin…by confessing…you are forgiven and healed!! I will be praying for you and thanks for giving me such a gift in seeing a younger person coming back to God with fervor!! I have a feeling you will inspire many others to follow in your path! God Bless you!!
