Helping a friend with a wedding

[sarcophagus]

I have a friend whose been with her fiance for 5 1/2 years. They’ve lived together for about 1 1/2 years. She’s recently caught the catholic bug from me…yay!! So now she has a bit of a problem. She doesn’t know what’s appropriate. Because everyone looks at her as already being married (non-religious relatives, friends etc.) would it be appropriate for her to have a big fancy wedding or just a small intimate one. I say a small intimate one, but she in unsure. The way she was raised, weddings are HUGE celebrations but she doesn’t know if this will conflict with her already chosen lifestyle.

What would you propose? Small intimate or huge n’ fancy???

Thanks

 

[Tietjen]

sarcophagus:

I have a friend whose been with her fiance for 5 1/2 years. They’ve lived together for about 1 1/2 years. She’s recently caught the catholic bug from me…yay!! So now she has a bit of a problem. She doesn’t know what’s appropriate. Because everyone looks at her as already being married (non-religious relatives, friends etc.) would it be appropriate for her to have a big fancy wedding or just a small intimate one. I say a small intimate one, but she in unsure. The way she was raised, weddings are HUGE celebrations but she doesn’t know if this will conflict with her already chosen lifestyle.

What would you propose? Small intimate or huge n’ fancy???

Thanks

Ultimately, the decision is and should be the bride and grooms. The fact that she and her future husband have put the “cart before the horse” is not relevant because they are not married despite what relatives may or may not believe. If I were you, I would suggest that she and her future husband begin living as brother and sister until after their marriage. Further, I would suggest that they both go to confession (assuming that they are both Catholic). Then THEY should choose the type of wedding that they will have. Keep in mind that marriage is a sacrament from God and anyone who enters into this gift, is fully within their right to celebrate (either in a large gala or a smaller setting) it however they choose.
God bless.

 

[cathyt]

A similar issue was addressed in Ask an Apologist. forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=54167

I would think that if her family tradition is a big wedding, they could still celebrate in a big way with a big celebratory reception even if they don’t do it right with their wedding ceremony. Any marital union should be celebrated in my opinion.