Helping Confused Mom

[FreedByTruth]

I am a hook, line, and sinker Catholic, but my mom is of the cafeteria nature. I have been trying to live by example for some time now, but my example is not always a good one because a small amount of animosity has arisen from our seperate beliefs. She does not accept transubstantiation, the authority of the Church, the teachings on birth control, and has fallen into the trap of relativism. She has recently made a few alarming comments, including, “no man in his right mind will marry without seeing you [naked].” She has also expressed that while she’s happy that I have chosen Catholicism (after a curiosity-induced research in other religions and a very in-depth study in this one), she does not feel that it is the right one for her. She goes to mass simply because she does not want to go through the trouble of switching churches, but just goes through the motions and views her spirituality “between her and God.”

Nobody in my family is really Catholic, but I’m focusing on my mom for the moment because I love her and I feel that she may very well be the easiest to convince. She holds a hostile view of my decision to not use birth control at any time in the future, and I am afraid what she will do when she finds out I am going to use my “exceptional potential” to be a missionary. I really want to respect my mom, and know that that will be an essential part of leading her to heaven, but how do you respond when respecting your mother may mean not defending your faith or when you feel she is drawing you away from God?

Please help.

 

[SMHW]

According to your profile you are a high school student. Please listen to a bit of advice from an “old lady”.

Spend at least as much, if not more, time praying for someone outside of the family to come into the lives of your family members as you do trying to help them yourselves. Your humble (as opposed to “in your face”) practice of Catholicism will probably have more effect on your mother and other relatives than will anything else you do aside from prayer. It will probably take a non-family member to be the one who really brings your mother back to the fullness of her faith.

You already know to be respectful of your mother. Try to avoid confronting her, even if she is wrong. If you think you must correct her understanding of Catholicism it is better to say something like, "The way it was explained to me is… " than to say, “No, it’s this way.” I’m guessing you already know this but it bears repeating. Major life decisions such becoming a missionary may need to wait until you are a self sufficient adult. Now you shouldn’t do anything that goes against your Faith but you also don’t need to participate in every single Catholic activity that presents itself.

Did I mention praying for someone from outside the family to come into your mother’s life?

 

[kage_ar]

If you could get a copy of George Weigel’s “The Truth of Catholicism” and read it… then, just say “mom, I read this good book. Here!” and give it to her…

Pray and pray and pray.

 

[arcee]

First of all, we need more young people like you to be an active voice in our Catholic Faith.
I believe that the best way to reconcile your Mom’s understanding of the Catholic Faith is not being confrontational but showing her by your example. Regular Sunday Mass and daily prayers can lead to formal conversation. The formal conversation can lead to an opportunity for you to discuss certain teachings of the Catholic Church. Being a good listener can also give you an opportunity to know of what particular teachings your Mom has objections.
I know at times it is overwhelming to know everything about the Catholic Faith. For a start you can browse this web site and go the “The Rock”. Very informative and explain alot about Catholicism. It is also good resource to get grounded on auhtoritative Catholic teachings. I would like also to suggest a book for you to read if you have the time, “Rediscovering Catholicism” by Matthew Kelly.
God bless. Live Jesus in our hearts.