Helping my sister

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My sister is in desperate need of help. My parents have completely disowned her. Out of the whole family, I’m the only one who will talk to her. She’s only 18 and the situation is so bad that she is nearly suicidal. I have to get her out of there. I’m trying and she’ll probably move in with me for a while. She’s been living off the cheetos in her room cause she isn’t allowed downstairs unless she is going to work, she’s unhealthy, depressed, stressed…everything. She doesn’t know how to do anything. She barely passed highschool because my mom never ever encouraged her to do well, didn’t get her the help she needed (she’s ADD) and so she doesn’t even have the grades to go to college. My only stipulation for me to help her was that she went back to grade 12 and try to get better grades. I want to encourage her because she has so much to offer. She wants to help animals.

I went through the same thing growing up but my sister doesn’t have the same perserveering attitude as I do. My mom didn’t teach her a thing about being independent so now I feel that is my job.

Please pray for her and myself, that she makes it through this tough time and that I can have the strength to teach her what I am just learning for myself.

If you have any suggestions, please…I need them!!

Thanks
 
Why don’t the two of you enroll in RCIA or at least get involved in a Catholic parish. It sounds like both of you need to surround yourself with Christ’s love and a supportive parish community. Blessings.
 
I think your sister is so fortunate to have you in her corner. How sad that your parents, based on your description have fallen so short of what it means to be a good parent. Is there any talking to them? Otherwise, since you’ve been in her position I suppose you can relate to how she’s feeling? If she can stay with you and go back to school that would be awesome. Her situation sounds so awful… no wonder she’s depressed. If you think she’s actually suicidal than maybe she’ll need additional professional help?

I will pray for you both.
CM
 
I will pray for your sister. I’m very sorry about your parents.
 
My mom was clueless about my dreams, bless her memory, but she always encouraged me to be the best me possible. So, it’s hard for me to relate to people who have children and then put no effort into seeing they can make as much of their lives as possible. God bless you for caring and being there for your sister. 👍 From your description, I too think the best thing for her is to be with you. Just take care of yourself while trying to help her. You need time and attention, too, ya know. You and your family have my prayers.
 
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sarcophagus:
My sister is in desperate need of help. My parents have completely disowned her. Out of the whole family, I’m the only one who will talk to her. She’s only 18 and the situation is so bad that she is nearly suicidal. I have to get her out of there. I’m trying and she’ll probably move in with me for a while. She’s been living off the cheetos in her room cause she isn’t allowed downstairs unless she is going to work, she’s unhealthy, depressed, stressed…everything. She doesn’t know how to do anything. She barely passed highschool because my mom never ever encouraged her to do well, didn’t get her the help she needed (she’s ADD) and so she doesn’t even have the grades to go to college. My only stipulation for me to help her was that she went back to grade 12 and try to get better grades. I want to encourage her because she has so much to offer. She wants to help animals.

I went through the same thing growing up but my sister doesn’t have the same perserveering attitude as I do. My mom didn’t teach her a thing about being independent so now I feel that is my job.

Please pray for her and myself, that she makes it through this tough time and that I can have the strength to teach her what I am just learning for myself.

If you have any suggestions, please…I need them!!

Thanks
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I realize that she is legally an adult but not feeding her sounds like abuse. Please get her out of that enviroment as soon as possible.

My brother dropped out of highschool at 16. After trying to make enough money on his own, he decided to go to a community College for his highschool. At the end of, I think a year, he recieved a highschool diploma.(not a GED) Maybe your sister is eligable for such a program.

Even if she doesn’t go to a university,some community colleges are not as difficult to get into and she could get training in a job that would help her make a living.
 
Thanks everyone for your responses and prayers.

Deb1, unfortunatley, my sisters grades are so low that she can’t even get into a community college. I want her to re-do grade 12 so she can really try.

So the situation lies here. My husband wants no part in this and so chances are she won’t be living with me. He says its a battle that I had to go through and now she must too. He also feels that we don’t have the space, time or money to help provide for my sister until she gets a job and her own place, which is true. It makes me feel terrible as well.

But, fortunatley, my older sister called and apologized to my 18-year old sister for being mean to her and told her she was welcome to stay with her. Though this does alieviate the problem right now, I’m a little more than cautious about this. My little sister is going to be stuck being the “babysitter” for both my older sister’s children (they each have one). Neither are married (one single through divorce, the other is a widow) and so they are in the “dating” mode right now. When this happened to me, I babysat while I had to do homework, after school and before and after work, so everyday it went like this: babysit in morning, school, babysit, work, babysit/homework. Basically, my day started at 6 and ended at 1 in the morning. It was the most terrible thing and I never got a cent of what I was promised. This will happen to my sister.

Anway, Thanks again for your prayers, I’ll keep you posted.
 
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sarcophagus:
Thanks everyone for your responses and prayers.

Deb1, unfortunatley, my sisters grades are so low that she can’t even get into a community college. I want her to re-do grade 12 so she can really try.

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ALthough my brother has a high IQ and is quite capable of making good grades, in highschool he was a very lazy kid and was failing nearly everything. A girlfriend convinced that he could quit school, paint cars and buy her presents.:mad: My brother is very stubborn and we could not convince him of his mistake. Of course this plan of his failed miserbly.And the girl broke up with him for a man that drove a nicer car.

He went through the community college’s highschool program first. I don’t know if that makes a difference. Then he joined the Army(82nd airborne), got training to be a nurse and is now going to school to be a physcian’s attendent¶. So, don’t rule school out for her.
 
I’m wondering if college is really best for your sister? Do you think she’s capable of getting much better grades by re-doing 12th grade & then persevering through several years of college…(while babystiting all the time?) I was thinking that maybe a trade school type thing would be more suitable? Would she like to be a cosmotologist? I have friends that do that - part time now because they have children & they make great money. (Where I live good luck finding a haircut for less that $35.00) Or maybe she could get 2 year training for something in the medical field??

The only way your sister is going to have any control over her own life is to earn enough money to support herself. A four year college degree requires alot of time, money, dedication etc. and if she started & didn’t finish - well she’s still stuck. I would check out something more within reach. What do you think?
 
I agree with Carol Marie, I think a tech school is where she might want to go. Cosmetology isn’t as easy as it looks and you really have to have a passion for hair, etc., but it’s a good idea if she thinks she might like it. Or Early Childhood ed, then she would be qualified as a lead teacher in a day care center, as soon as she graduates. (I have a friend that did that) Lots of options to choose from in places like that, and they have high school/GED programs available if she needs to get some classes or credits under her belt before she tackles a vocation. Just a couple thoughts.

She’s lucky she has a sister like you who cares. Good luck and we’ll be praying 🙂
 
If you guide her into a tech school then she can still recieve the Pell Grant and other financial help.

After previewing some of these posts I realized that my brother had attended a tech school not a community college. I got on their site and they do have an adult high school diploma course. This sounds more like what your sister needs. I realize that you are not near me, but I am putting the website for this school in this post so that you can get an idea what kind of courses that such schools offer.

faytechcc.edu/edprog/coned/baskills.htm
 
Is there anyone you can go to with her for spiritual help and direction? A priest or nun or lay person that can help you walk her through this? This is an opportunity to connect to the One who will truly never let her down and that can be the beginning of working this path out for her.
 
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