Helping or hindering a friend?

[Ianjo99]

Recently I talked to a Catholic friend of mine. Apparently when she is in college, she goes to two churches every week, a Catholic and a non-Catholic one. Her family is a strict Catholic family and so is she.

She says that she goes in order to have the bible explained (which the Catholic churches are classically lacking in). I can’t help but have an uneasy feeling about this. Maybe its some sort of defensive thing on my part, but the fact that she knows comparitively little about the Catholic faith worries me. She’s not stupid or anything, but I can see her being easily persuaded by common arguments. I am extremely happy that she wants to learn more about the Bible and everything, but still.

My question is, should she be going? She says she does not take their communion, but yet this still worries me.

If she shouldn’t, how can I bring this up without coming across as an angry Catholic?

I don’t know, maybe I’m overreacting, I would just hate to see one of my closest friends and possible girlfriend lose her Catholic faith in favor of some protestant faith.

Any suggestions?

Oh and please only Catholic responses, Thank you!

 

[ElizabethJoy]

I can understand your concern. But, you’re right in not wanting to come across as angry or defensive.

How about giving her a Catholic-based Bible study book and a history of the Church?

I’m still reading Karl Keating’s Catholicism and Fundamentalism and I have gotten a LOT from that book! It might alert her to anti-Catholic “buzz-phrases” she is likely to hear in some Christianity-based churches and provide a “decoder” and refutation for her. It’s available through the CA online store.

 

[David_Brown]

Being a fairly new convert myself (under 3 years), I have found the same lack of teaching in my parish and have often been bothered by it. I have found other Catholics, especially converts, who feel the same loss. Could she find other Catholics and have a Bible study using Catholic materials? There are very good Catholic materials out there and she can’t be the only Catholic wanting more teaching. She might form or find a Catholic group on her campus. I think she would see that this would be a better way. Try getting her to look for what is best–perhaps as a ministry to other young Catholics.

David

 

[AlanFromWichita]

She is right that many Catholics don’t know much about the Bible.

I like the idea of a Catholic Bible study.

That said, I have listened to preachers of a number of faiths and it has helped me way more than it has hurt me, I believe.

First and foremost, when I was on complete haitus from the Church, it was a non-denominational speaker Fred Price who showed me there is something useful in the Bible other than a bunch of rules to beat each other up with.

Seriously, ten minutes a week is not enough to learn anything. That’s another reason why hour-long Protestant services are so compelling.

Unless she gets into a Catholic Bible study, I’d say let her keep doing what she’s doing. Go to the Protestants to get her nose rubbed some in the Bible, then you meet with her weekly or maybe even chat online or something to discuss what she heard, thus giving you an active role in building her Catholicism and giving you the chance to see if she’s going wrong. It may sound a bit like you’re playing spiritual director for her, but you can downplay that by saying you’d like her as a “prayer partner” to discuss these things.

If I’m giving you poor strategy, I’m confident the Spirit will show you the way because you are seeking it. Whatever happens, have faith the God will give you the right words when you need them.

[edit]Oh, and one thing you probably already do is avoid insulting the other Church. If you do, that makes you no different than the most vicious fundies and she sees two kids each saying the other is phony and should get lost. If they say critical things about Catholicism, tell her that is something many Protestants think, but then give her the whole truth. That way you will be the dignified one rather than the attack dog one. If she goes for the attack dog instead, then we need to believe the Spirit has it covered.

Alan

 

[Liberian]

Ianjo99:

Recently I talked to a Catholic friend of mine. Apparently when she is in college, she goes to two churches every week, a Catholic and a non-Catholic one. Her family is a strict Catholic family and so is she.

lanjo,

Depending on her tastes, you could …

… get her a gift subscription of This Rock magazine (no, I am not being paid to advertise)
… get her a gift subscription of Inside the Vatican magazine–this is an excellent magazine, very colorful and full of the glories of the Church, and as far as I can tell completely straight up on its theology
… point her to these forums if she has any question about Bible interpretation
… get her a good Catholic study Bible

I think you are right to be concerned, given the different interpretations you have of the same Bible verse in Catholic and Protestant Bible studies.

• Liberian

 

[Ianjo99]

Thanks again for all the responses!

I am not sure exactly what I’ll do as of yet. So far, this hasn’t affected her stances on anything, though I’m not sure of her knowledge of Catholic dogma. I am probably not giving her enough credit.

Aside from any feelings I have for her, It still just infuriates me that she’s exposing herself to things that could (not that they necessarily would) cause her to abandon what I consider to be the true Faith and her Catholic family.

I don’t know. We aren’t regionally close enough for me to talk to her in person every day, so starting a prayer group with her isn’t really feasible. I might bring up the topic of alternate resources, but I fear that she would think I am trying to, as someone said, be her spiritual director. I am one of her closest friends and have known her for years, I don’t want her to feel that I think I am more spiritually enlightened than her.

The only leverage I have is that I once considered becoming a priest, so I use to actively study all aspects of apologetics and Catholic Dogma. It has probably caused me kind of “avoid” noncatholic denominations because of what I used to (and still do, in a sense) read. Because she knew this, she does I think respect what I say about Catholocism more than she does others’ opinions. Not to say that I think I know more, I really don’t as much as I should, but that I can give very base answers to common objections. I could try using this in a sense, but I would prefer she learn these things on her own in order to fully appreciate Catholic culture.

Once again, thanks for all past and future responses, I do read and consider all of what you said/say!

 

[Lazerlike42]

I didn’t read all the replies, but I’d suggest meeting with her or chatting online if that’s not possible or explaining it to her if you can. You can spend a little while during the week preparing it and then talk with her or something.