Helping parents in sunday shopping

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Luken

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I have a question - is helping parents in sunday shopping a sin (by helping in sin)? I had that situation twice, when we were going back home from sunday mass and unexpectedly my mom decided to go shopping and asked me for help. I told her that it is wrong and declared that I will do shopping before sunday if she can’t, but I felt that I should help her now if she is going to do it in any case (otherwise I would just watch at her effort). Next week she did the same, and I had more hard time to decide whether should I help her or not. I repeated her what I said before and my declaration of help. I think if she will ignore me next time, I shouldn’t helping for sure, but I wonder about previous situations.

This is not “confession”, I don’t think I did serious sins, because I was confused and tried my best, but I couldn’t find on internet any thoughs about that kind of situation, and I think it would be good if someone would present some kind of analysis of what children should do when there is a conflict of 3rd and 4th commandment in that kind of situation (when parents have their weaknesses sometimes). So we won’t be wiser only after wrong decision and question at confession 🙂 .

Regards!
 
In the event of a conflict between two authorities a Catholic must obey the higher authority. Since the Church was directly founded by Christ it’s laws supersede contrary civil laws and parental commands.
 
As far as I know, it is not a sin to go to the grocery store on Sunday. In fact, just two weeks ago I saw our priest at Vons on a Sunday evening. He was going to dinner at someone’s house and was picking up wine and flowers to bring to the hosts.
 
In the event of a conflict between two authorities a Catholic must obey the higher authority. Since the Church was directly founded by Christ it’s laws supersede contrary civil laws and parental commands.
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Yes I know that, but also think about this - I’m trying to bring my mom closer to God, and I know that to do that, I need also bring her closer to myself, therefore my reasoning was - if I will go help her, I will show her charity, and at the same time I will use this to better tell her how we can organize things better, so she wouldn’t have to do anything on sundays. In other words - I was reasoning that this way of thinking and acting in this specific situation is not against 3rd commandment, but is fullfiling it, by doing something to influence my mom in a good way by giving an example. I felt like I was celebrating this day this way. So the question is - can motives justify that kind of act (helping in sunday shopping)? Or under no circumstances we should go shop, because for example of people that need to work in shops then?
 
From the Catechism; 2187*Sanctifying Sundays and holy days requires a common effort. Every Christian should avoid making unnecessary demands on others that would hinder them from observing the Lord’s Day. Traditional activities (sport, restaurants, etc.), and social necessities (public services, etc.), require some people to work on Sundays, but everyone should still take care to set aside sufficient time for leisure. With temperance and charity the faithful will see to it that they avoid the excesses and violence sometimes associated with popular leisure activities. In spite of economic constraints, public authorities should ensure citizens a time intended for rest and divine worship. Employers have a similar obligation toward their employees.

It is not sinful. Now it would be best if everything were closed on Sunday but unfortunately that is not the case. Sometimes necessity dictates that we stop by a grocery store on Sunday but I do think it is best not too. I hear a lot of people refer to Sunday as the Sabbath but they are different. The most important part of Sunday is giving glory to God and attending Mass.
 
Luken said:
Yes I know that, but also think about this - I’m trying to bring my mom closer to God, and I know that to do that, I need also bring her closer to myself, therefore my reasoning was - if I will go help her, I will show her charity, and at the same time I will use this to better tell her how we can organize things better, so she wouldn’t have to do anything on sundays. In other words - I was reasoning that this way of thinking and acting in this specific situation is not against 3rd commandment, but is fullfiling it, by doing something to influence my mom in a good way by giving an example. I felt like I was celebrating this day this way. So the question is - can motives justify that kind of act (helping in sunday shopping)? Or under no circumstances we should go shop, because for example of people that need to work in shops then?
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While we must have a good intention we also must not participate in immoral acts. So no, a good intention does not justify an immoral act
 
I don’t think it is immoral to shop at a grocery store that is open on Sunday. It is immoral for the boss of the grocery store to demand his employees work if they want to be off for religious obligations. However, a customer doesn’t know if the employees are Christians or if they asked off or not. I suppose, if I knew for a fact that a certain store refused to give workers time for their religous obligations, then I would avoid shopping there are all, whatever day of the week it was.
 
Luken said:
Yes I know that, but also think about this - I’m trying to bring my mom closer to God, and I know that to do that, I need also bring her closer to myself, therefore my reasoning was - if I will go help her, I will show her charity, and at the same time I will use this to better tell her how we can organize things better, so she wouldn’t have to do anything on sundays.
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By not having to do anything on Sundays do you include things like cooking Sunday dinner, washing the dishes, cleaning up spilles, or taking care of animals that depend on you to feed, water, and walk them (ie. pets, livestock)? :)🙂
 
tabycat said:
By not having to do anything on Sundays do you include things like cooking Sunday dinner, washing the dishes, cleaning up spilles, or taking care of animals that depend on you to feed, water, and walk them (ie. pets, livestock)? :)🙂
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Shopping can normally be done on another day.
 
So to sum up the factors:
–it is preferable, to avoid shopping on Sunday
–it is not an obligation under the pain of sin to avoid shopping on Sunday
–your mother is asking you for help
–you have an obligation to honor your mother
–you are trying to help your mother get closer to God.

Given these factors, I would say that it is not wrong of you to help your mother when she asks you on the spur of the moment to go shopping. Now if she is asking you to spend hours of your Sunday afternoon shopping, then it is a pretty big imposition to propose at the spur of the moment. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to say that you had already planned on something else for Sunday afternoon, and offer to help her on Monday instead. But keep in mind that a dogmatic - “no I won’t help you” response, is more likely to be received as haughty or holier-than-thou, and less likely to draw her closer to God than a “how can I help” attitude, especially when you aren’t REQUIRED.

My real suggestion though, is that if your mother has a habit of asking for your help shopping on Sunday, why don’t you talk about it with her ahead of time. You could approach her up on Saturday morning (or Friday evening), and say “Mom, I was wondering if you might have some shopping to do this weekend. I’d like to try to avoid shopping on Sunday - do you need anything that I can help you with on Saturday?”

Keep in mind also, that the prohibition from these other things on Sunday is not meant to be in a vacuum, but done so that you can focus your Sundays on spiritual things. I would encourage you to have some specific ideas of what you DO want to do on Sunday instead. If you have an alternative, it might help your mom to be more receptive to the idea that you would like Sunday to be “set apart” than if you’re just going to go home and do the same things you always do at home. Do you already have a tradition of Sunday dinner? If not, maybe now would be a good time to start one.
 
There is nothing sinful about shopping on a Sunday, especially since many people find it relaxing and do it for fun.
 
Bill_Martin said:
There is nothing sinful about shopping on a Sunday, especially since many people find it relaxing and do it for fun.
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Huh? Why would the sin of something be less because some people find it relaxing and do it for fun? Think about it. There is nothing sinful about prostitution, especially since many people find it relaxing and do it for fun. There is nothing sinful about cock fighting, especially since many people find it relaxing and do if for fun. There is nothing sinful about shoplifting since many people find it relaxing and do it for fun. I mean, the second part of your sentence doesn’t logically follow the first. PS- I don’t think that shopping on Sunday is sinful, but I’m just sayin.
 
Allegra said:
Huh? Why would the sin of something be less because some people find it relaxing and do it for fun? Think about it. There is nothing sinful about prostitution, especially since many people find it relaxing and do it for fun. There is nothing sinful about cock fighting, especially since many people find it relaxing and do if for fun. There is nothing sinful about shoplifting since many people find it relaxing and do it for fun. I mean, the second part of your sentence doesn’t logically follow the first. PS- I don’t think that shopping on Sunday is sinful, but I’m just sayin.
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All of those things are intrisically evil regardless of whether you enjoy them or not, whereas shopping is not. When talking about whether something not sinful is wrong to do on a Sunday, the debate is centered on whether the activity violates the idea of a day of rest, so the reason for doing it (ie, recreation vs unnecessary work) matters. Doing something that some may consider work or unpleasant because you enjoy it is perfectly acceptable to do on a Sunday.
 
Bill_Martin said:
All of those things are intrisically evil regardless of whether you enjoy them or not, whereas shopping is not. When talking about whether something not sinful is wrong to do on a Sunday, the debate is centered on whether the activity violates the idea of a day of rest, so the reason for doing it (ie, recreation vs unnecessary work) matters. Doing something that some may consider work or unpleasant because you enjoy it is perfectly acceptable to do on a Sunday.
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I think you may be misunderstanding the reason shopping is considered by some to be a sin on Sunday. It’s not because it is work for the shopper. It’s because they think that your going shopping is what requires the store to be open, requiring the store owner to make the workers work, and thus being directly involved in the sin of the managers and the workers.
 
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