Helping returning Catholic

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desales09

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Hi everyone,

I’m trying to determine whether I’ve gravely sinned. I’ll try not to make this too long, and would appreciate any (name removed by moderator)ut, even if it harshly points out my errors in this matter.

Recently I helped a man badly damaged by alcoholism back to the church. He wanted to return. He’s not in full possession of his faculties, and he’s probably not long for this world. He relies heavily on me to both invite him and get him to Mass.

One Sunday I came to pick him up for Mass and noticed that he had several beer cans out. A relapse. It wasn’t until we were at Church that I realized he was probably drunk even then - I could smell it strongly on his breath. I advised him not to receive Communion, even though I feared offending him and perhaps pushing him away. Receiving communion drunk just seemed so obviously wrong that I felt I should advise him not to, and he didn’t.

Several weeks passed with him in and out of the hospital, and I didn’t get the chance to bring him to confession. Just this last Sunday (August 3), I brought him to Mass again. I was praying and asking God for wisdom - should he receive or not? I wasn’t sure of whether I should concern myself with his worthiness, whether I was being self-righteous, whether I would be responsible if he did receive not in a state of grace, etc. I didn’t know how to handle it. When it was time to go up, I tentatively suggested that he might hold off till he could see a Priest. He responded in confusion, “I’m not sure why I wouldn’t receive now,” and went up and received.

So here’s my dilemma: On one hand, I don’t want to offend him and perhaps push him totally away from the Church by insisting that he not receive. On the other hand, drunkenness is a reason-impairing action which is a grave sin, and receiving communion not in a state of grace is a grave sacrilege. I felt very confused about the proper action on my part.

So I decided to schedule an appointment with a Priest for him (with his consent), but couldn’t get the appointment till this next week. So I didn’t invite him to this Sunday’s Mass (August 10) to avoid the whole ordeal I encountered the previous week. At least, I didn’t invite him in advance and take him to morning Mass, as I normally do. Then my brother told me, “Look, Lee, he’s not in full possession of his faculties. I don’t think it’d be right to withhold communion or Mass from him. He probably didn’t intend anything wrong when he got drunk. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.” So I decided to invite him to evening Mass, but he likes morning Mass and he wasn’t prepared or willing to go. I let it go at that, but I wonder if I should have explained that Mass is a grave obligation. Boy, I feel like a fool. I have no idea what I’m doing in this. Anyway, please feel free to advise me, even if it’s not in the most flattering way.
 
It is good that you care about this poor man, but it is not up to you to judge his soul or whether he should be receiving communion. If he was in the hospital, you could have asked a priest to see him then. Perhaps he did, and you just don’t know it.
 
I only want to say that God bless you for assisting this man in getting to Mass, and showing him that you care.

Your priest will be better equipped to answer this than we will, I think. At any rate, God knows this man’s heart, soul, mind, infirmities, better than anyone else, even him.

Keep asking him to Mass, and bringing him. You’ll be glad you did.
 
You are very kind to assist this man. But it is best to leave it to the Lord to judge his soul. You are a great help in getting him to Mass. It may well b a healing measure in itself for him to receive the Lord, who are we to judge. I am sure your kind actions will be seen by the Lord and you should not get too concerned about his reception of communion. Christ seems to welcome the most surprising people to his feast.
 
It is good that you care about this poor man, but it is not up to you to judge his soul or whether he should be receiving communion. If he was in the hospital, you could have asked a priest to see him then. Perhaps he did, and you just don’t know it.
Agree.
 
Thanks, all of you. You’re right. I’ve been taking too much onto myself by trying to determine the state of his soul. God will take care of it. I have enough to worry about with my own, and I do that too much as well.

And I will continue taking him to Mass, as much as he’s willing to go.
 
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