Here I am, Lord

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RavenousWolf

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I am in desperate need of your prayer.

Ever since I was a little kid I’ve wanted to make God happy with my actions… of course I’ve failed here and there, but He has always managed to show His unfailing love and mercy to me, and is always calling me back to Him.

Throughout my years in high school I worried about not knowing how God wished me to serve Him… I was certain He was calling me, but I didn’t know what He was calling me to! I considered the priesthood and wondered if God could be calling to give me life so completely to Him…

I began college in fall of 2006 and entered the degree plan for Biomedical Engineering. It was working out fine, and I breezed through freshmen classes, but when I worked at a hospital over the summer I realized that research and work in a conventional lab was definitely not what I was being called to… I resolved to continue with my major and simply find a job that was more suited to me than my degree after graduation.

Well last year I began to take more mainstream Biomedical Engineering courses… occasionally they were engaging and interesting, but most of the time I found myself wondering what I was doing there…

And then last fall, it was almost like an epiphany, I just knew! After spending a few days at my church getting to know some religious brothers and sisters, I knew that I was to serve the Lord as a priest in His Holy Catholic Church. I didn’t know when I would need to enter seminary or if I would stay in college to get my degree first, but it didn’t matter b/c I knew in the end what the Lord had in store for my life! It was a glorious feeling and for about a month I lived as though one day I would be a priest. It was amazing how just that belief led me to become a holier person!

Well, needless to say after a month or so I wasn’t so convinced. After talking to a few friends and family members, I realized I wasn’t quite ready to write off having a wife and kids and such (because families can be pretty amazing, right?!). So I began to discern about changing my major…

This semester I enrolled myself in a schedule composed of only core curriculum classes. I knew that if I was ever going to be serious about changing my major, I would need to do something drastic. Well, I’ve been taking sociology and psychology and anthropology and a few others, and have really enjoyed delving into the social sciences… but I never took the time to research what I could do with a degree in any of those other majors.

Recently I was doing some reading of spiritual books and came across the term religious sociologist. It sounded pretty interesting to me, and I figured I could look into that… so I went to the career counselor and took the first step to changing my major. I had so many questions and my head was about to explode, but I just didn’t know what to do. I felt so abandoned and alone and confused… should I switch from a major in which I am basically guaranteed a job and a secure living to one in which I would have to find a job myself? It’s a lot to think about and I don’t like thinking that far into the future!

Well, I’m in major need of prayers for clarity and wisdom and understanding and trust. I still haven’t decided if I’m changing my major and registration is exactly two weeks away! I’m scared to death to move either way, and I’m having the hardest time trusting that God will be with me no matter what.

I want so badly to live my life completely for God and be able to spread His love to all of His creation, but the path to such a career is not so clear cut as the path for a biomedical engineer! Will I even be able to find a job as a religious sociologist? Will I earn enough money to have a stable income for my Catholic-sized family? Will such a job take me far away from everyone and everything I know and love? So many questions and so many more I can’t even seem to voice!

I know that if I do change my major to sociology I will need to attend grad school… where I would hopefully be able to study the effect of culture on religion and vice versa as well as theology. Do any of you know in what occupations such a religious sociologist would be needed?!? I know I’d probably end up writing a lot of books, but more than anything I want to see my work have a clear outcome and benefit to our society… perhaps I could work on restructuring the Catholic education system? Any ideas or knowledge/encouragement that you could provide me would be greatly appreciated!

God bless you all during this Easter Octave, and please, please pray for me in my search for the will of God in my life!
 
My friend you are not alone! I myself entered college in fall of 2007 for biomedical engineering. I knew quite soon it was not for me, and as such i turned to finance. But spring semester of 2008 is a different story. I have felt my vocation stronger than ever. I have been praying, reading scripture, and studying the lifestyle of the priesthood for many hours everyday on top of my school work. I am very confused at the moment, because a major in theology or philosophy would be most practical. However, what if i discern that my vocation is different than the priesthood? Can i get a job in one of those majors? Because of this im lost, nervous, and frightened of what is to come. My only advice is to find a spiritual director or vocations director, as i am currently searching myself at the moment. Know this though! You are not alone, and i will keep you in my prayers so that God may render on to you the patience, understanding, and most of all Love to discern your calling! Peace be with you brother. Amen i say to you Amen!
 
Your struggles are normal. I know many, many college students (and older) who search for their true vocation.

Pray and get a good spiritual director to assist you in discerning. As to your question about academia. I would say that for the most past you will need a doctorate. Hopefully, an professor here will post with advice. Academia is not easy and some disciplines (e.g. business) pay more than others and jobs are very competitive. However, I would not let that stop you if you feel called to a vocations as a Sociologist. Any vocation that God has called you to can be “religious” in the sense that you dedicate what you do to God. Professors are important and what they contribute to in terms of society is great.

What ever you do to serve God should be done with a passion. Keep seeking God’s guidance for your career and life.

In the meantime you might consider increasing your spiritual devotion through belonging to a Third Order such as the Carmelites, Dominicans and so on (links are above in the Sticky‘s for Third Orders). In that way you have a tie to a religious order (and yes you can be married). This is a vocation as well. There are also other ways to deepen your spirituality through belonging to the Confraternity of the Most Holy Rosary or the Militia of the Immaculata.

A final word of encouragement is that former Protestant Pastor Scott Hahn is an academic (Theologian) and has a large ministry that he serves God through as a professor, speaker, and so on. He is married with a family. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Hahn
 
Well, read about this thread help me to know that I’m not alone. I’m starting to discern myself although I have a good career and enggaged. First step is that I’m going to resign from my work (because my work takes a lot of time of mine, I can work 10-14 hours per day or even including in the weekend if I should provide financial report on time) and try to go alone to a quite place that I can calm and silent. Because God calls never in rush. If we calm that we can listen God’s voice more. So let us pray to each other.
God bless
 
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