Herpes in marriage

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Mommaganzales

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Hello all!

Forgive me if I am not doing this correctly as I am new to this site but I am in desperate need of help.

Also this is tmi so beware in post 😌

I have been married to my husband for almost 7 years. We have always practiced NFP and have four beautiful children who we have welcomed with open arms and hearts into our lives. My husband and I were also both chaste prior to marriage and have only been either eachother sexually. We have been very blessed to have only been with eachother our whole entire lives.

After the birth of our last child (1 year old in September) I started getting some awful symptoms during my cycles and have done blood tests and other tests and my obgyn says that I have contacted herpes. The blood work shows it’s oral herpes which she says becuase I have been prone to cold sores my whole life (which I am, I would always get them 4-5 times a year as a teenager growing up) she says that some how it was passed down vaginally. From what she said it is very possible for this to happen.

Now my husband and I are only 29 and 30. We have many years ahead of us and total abstinence just seems so hard and unhealthy for a Couple in Love. But obviously we know condoms (which is what my doctor suggested) is immoral and we do not want to use. We want to ride this out morally correct and we are looking for any help on the issue? Is there medication or anything that can help with him contacting it? Any insight from anyone would be great!

Please no judgement. We are just looking for some help. We found this out about 2 weeks ago and trying to make sure it doesn’t put our marriage on the rocks.
Thank you so much! God bless!
 
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Sorry for your situation… ☹️ It is an awfull challenge…

When herpes is here, there is no medication that can get out definitely. But there is oral medication that can help with crisis or even prevent them. perhaps it can be given in prevention for the other spouse? I am not sure.

I correct: there is a blood test that your husband can do, to know if he is positive or negative to the herpes. if he is positive, condoms are no longer necessary between the crisis. See with a doctor.

And condoms will not protected the couple completely, if the lesions appears on others place, around the sex.

We cannot help here on the forum with medical advise.

I suggest to see that with a doctor who is a faithfull catholic in his medical pratice, or at the minimum is very respectfull of your convictions.

There is a lot of couple infected, and don’t seem to live in complete abstinence, outside of crisis.
It is really dangerous during childbirth for the baby and for newborn.

but if your goal is to avoid contamination completely…

Sorry to cannot help more.
 
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We can’t give medical advice; you should ask your doctor about medication for the outbreaks–it’s available, though it won’t get the virus out of your system.

Honestly, HSV is incredibly common, and your husband probably already has it. This doesn’t sound like something for which you’d need to practice total abstinence. Obviously, tell your doctor if you become pregnant, so that risks to your baby are minimized.
 
I think you speak to HSV 1, oral herpes. That the OP has.

@Mommaganzales,
Yes, it is incredibly common, and your husband can be tested. If he is already positive, it seems that you cannot transmited him something, outside the crisis, that he already had.

Of course, it can be different with HSV2, genital herpes, because far less people has it.

See with a doctor.
 
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This is one of those things that really is best addressed by a doctor. There are different forms of herpes and your doctor will be able to tell you the risk of tranmission for each. I think for at least some forms, transmission is only likely during an outbreak of the rash but even that I’m not sure of. You should really consult a doc with this one. Perhaps a Catholic doctor, if the one you have won’t hear of life without condoms.
 
Cold sores are herpes.

Yep, either strain can appear orally, genitally or on the eyes. Very easy to transmit from one place to another.

Herpes is not fatal, simply annoying. As long as precautions are taking during vaginal delivery, there, is no danger to your kids (be careful about sharing mugs, kissing, when you have a cold sore).

Why would you need to use condoms?

IIRC almost 70% of adults have one form of herpes virus or the other. Not sure why there is a stigma anymore!
 
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I remember commercials a while back that were for a medicine to help a person not give their partner herpes. Ask a doctor and they’ll be able to tell you if they can prescribe anything.
 
As others have stated, we cannot give medical advice. However, I have known a few herpes sufferers and they did not live in total abstinence, nor do they use condoms all the time. One of them was my best female friend for many years so that is how I know, although I was not privy to her whole medical history with her doctor.

Please speak to your doctor or, if your current doctor suggested condoms and nothing else, please get a second opinion. And a test for your husband.
 
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