Hey i have question about misunderstanding and hurting

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sebo3e

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Yeah i have an very complicated question which bothers me and that is this

What is the diffrence when you hurt a person by saying something mean to them

and diffrence

When you explain things to someone but they see that as hurt but you was just being charitable but they dont see it as that

How can in such situation things be sin?

Is to misunderstanding of person being hurt by someone else a sin?

because as we know sin can be casued by even withoud kwonladge by not being aware we are doing
which whould be venial

example you backbite about age or when we have small fights like quarell learned this by articles

so by real question is where here is a cause of sin?
and is misunderstanding of being hurt sinfull either way

Also lets remember before commenting to be charitable and to teach me as well to understand things better
 
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I’ll reply later as I don’t have the time right now.

But at first glance -
sebo3e said:
What is the diffrence when you hurt a person by saying something mean to them

and diffrence
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As you are speaking to the person whom you’ve offended, then yes it is a sin against charity, - spoke unkindly to another, and depending on what was said, whether said in anger etc. or if you just said e.g. “you shouldn’t eat so much, no wonder you’re fat!” That would be rash judgement as well as speaking unkindly to another (if was to your parent, that increases it a little I would think as you were disrespectful towards your parent.)
sebo3e said:
When you explain things to someone but they see that as hurt but you was just being charitable but they dont see it as that
Click to expand...
Again, depends on what was said. If you said you should go to Mass as it’s a grave sin if you don’t without a serious reason, and the person took offense, then I don’t see any sin at all. Unless you said it meanly, accusingly, threatenly - rather than just stating what the Church teaches.
 
Thanks for understanding and the reply
sorry for late reply plus that s interesting i learned something new

also if i example talked to you kindly about something what bothers me and you said you re hurt but it was all misunderstanding

how is that seen in situation is it a sin or its something else?
this is example since i am not shure how should i explain
 
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God knows the heart. One doesn’t fall into sin by accident, there has to be intention on your part. Pray for the gift of self-restraint. Sometimes it is better to say nothing.
 
What does that mean? sorry since i have problems with understanding things since i am not english but as well i need way

more time to gather information to see things which takes me for some longer time that how normally people do withoud disablity

this is example
also basically does this mean if i talk to you and i told you what bothers me and you said you re hurt but everything is misunderstanding

does that then mean there s no sin in misunderstanding does this make hurt part invalid then?

i know its complicated procces of understanding that s why i asked

plus could you please show me an example of prayer for that in private message please?
 
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It means if you said something unintentionally it is not a sin.
It also means if you are worried about hurting somebody with your words, sometimes it is better to say nothing. But to say nothing one needs self-restraint, which is a gift. And one can pray for this gift.
 
sebo3e said:
also if i example talked to you kindly about something what bothers me and you said you re hurt but it was all misunderstanding
Click to expand...
If it was something the other person said or did that was bothering you and you spoke to them about it - if you were speaking calmly and not accusingly/angrily, then depending on what you thought about the person and situation, there may be the sin of rash judgement - otherwise I don’t see any sin at all. We are to try and sort things out with each other to re-establish peace and right relationships with each other. Feelings of being hurt either on your part or the other persons part are not sins - they indicate our own sense of self love has been injured (some occasions may be valid, but if due to a misunderstanding usually not).

If the other person was hurt because you misunderstood (what they said or why they said it or their motive or intentions in what they said) and were hurt that you took it the wrong way - then it’s possible there was sin there - on your part that is. The only sin that comes to mind is Rash Judgement - CCC # 2478 " … to avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way: …"
 
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I once teased a friend about something and she told me that she didn’t like me to say that, so I apologized and did not do that any more.

I was just kidding around and she understood that, so she didn’t get angry with me.

But suppose she had reacted differently? Suppose she had gotten her feelings hurt and gotten angry with me, would that have changed what I did?

No. I still would have just been making n innocent joke which for some reason she didn’t like. How she takes it does not change what I did.

So if someone misunderstands you, then apologize and try not to do that again. If they over-react, just give them time.

It can be tricky to deal with people under the best of circumstances; if you have a disability, it is harder. Just try to pay attention to others, and apologize if they don’t like something.
 
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What is this situation called

Manipulator situation normally its called projection
you explain nicely things but other say you hurt them

this is basically called projection it means somone see word as rude what wasnt rude or condeming etc

example from article you can get accused for being angry with someone
or talking in today world can bee seen as judgment when you correct them

did church ever try explain about such situations?
 
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Someone pretending that their feelings have been hurt by what you said when you were only trying to explain something, yes could be them trying to manipulate you, make you be the guilty party and shift blame from themselves to you.

This other person may be oversensitive, have a ‘chip on their shoulders’ about the topic. If in fraternal correction situation, then could be their pride /ego objecting to you correcting them (as that’s how they see it), rather than you just trying to explain matters.

That’s just human interactions, misunderstandings. Don’t know if the church has a word to sum up the situation.
 
These situations can often lead to heavy pain, and it shows how critical healthy communication is. I tend to take things personally so it’s tough sometimes to understand that communication like that isn’t personal, it’s for the betterment of the relationship
 
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