High Self Esteem is Bad: Low is Good

[DreadVandal]

Here is a recent Scientific American article on Self Esteem entitled, “Exploding the Myth of Self Esteem.” It shows that studies indicate that those with high self esteem are actually more likely to be involved in crimes, drug use, etc.

I have heard of other studies and have discussed this with some colleagues. Apparently there are a number of studies out that show that the whole “low self esteem is the problem” is a bunch of bunk. I want to argue that the opposite is the case. Our self esteem is too high and it is a sin. The Gospel teaches us not to esteem ourselves at all. We should have low self esteem. Any thoughts? Here is the link:

sciam.com/print_version.cfm?articleID=000CB565-F330-11BE-AD0683414B7F0000

 

[buffalo]

Earned self esteem can include humility.

Unearned self esteem is not healthy.

 

[sarcophagus]

I see your point but I would argue that extremes on both sides of the scale are bad and moderate self esteem would be the most beneficial. Not too high that you are cocky, not too low that you hate yourself but right in the middle.

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

A **Balanced **self-esteem is best. Acknowledging what you have done with God’s help, accepting your limitations with frustration, understanding your capabilities honestly, and humbly talking about yourself when it is helpful to others.

 

[GoldenArrow]

It is best to have a low-self esteem that is “lifted up on high” because of God’s graces and gifts.

A “lifted up” self esteem (often perceived in the eyes of the world as a high self esteem) is not unhealthy if you always remember that everything in you that is good: love, virtues, talents, intelligence, etc… is from God. Never attribute anything to yourself.

Always point to God as the principal cause of your every good.

You get in trouble when you start attributing God’s Gifts to yourself as the principal cause—turning a “lifted on high” self esteem into actual love of self. Love of self then feeds your ego and leads into all sorts of sins.

God Bless!

 

[blessedstar]

GoldenArrow:

It is best to have a low-self esteem that is “lifted up on high” because of God’s graces and gifts.

A “lifted up” self esteem (often perceived in the eyes of the world as a high self esteem) is not unhealthy if you always remember that everything in you that is good: love, virtues, talents, intelligence, etc… is from God. Never attribute anything to yourself.

Always point to God as the principal cause of your every good.

You get in trouble when you start attributing God’s Gifts to yourself as the principal cause—turning a “lifted on high” self esteem into actual love of self. Love of self then feeds your ego and leads into all sorts of sins.

God Bless!

Absolutely and very well said

 

[batteddy]

Of course pride and arrogance lead to many sins. But depression and self-hatred are not good either.

A “lifted up” self esteem (often perceived in the eyes of the world as a high self esteem) is not unhealthy if you always remember that everything in you that is good: love, virtues, talents, intelligence, etc… is from God. Never attribute anything to yourself.

Always point to God as the principal cause of your every good.

You get in trouble when you start attributing God’s Gifts to yourself as the principal cause—turning a “lifted on high” self esteem into actual love of self. Love of self then feeds your ego and leads into all sorts of sins.

I would agree. Except I would not call this “self-esteem”. Self-esteem implies too much focus on the self, and ones own feelings about oneself. I would call it “God-esteem”. “Other-esteem” is a worth based on other’s opinions of you, and “self-esteem” is based on your own opinions of yourself. We should be concerned with neither. But seek to die to self and only care about God and being God’s child and knowing that although we are infinitely unworthy he loves us. When we put Christ at the center of our concerns and order our world view properly, all problems cease.

 

[GoldenArrow]

I would call it “God-esteem”.

Yes! You understand me well. Self-esteem is the wrong word to use. I like the term—“God Esteem.” One could almost start a movement based on that to rival to Secularisms “high self esteem” movement. We could promote, “High God Esteem.”

You should send that term to someone in the media who’d promote it—like maybe those guys on EWTN’s Web of Faith show—or maybe The O’Reilly Factor. Just a thought.

Absolutely and very well said

Thank you—I’d say bateddy said it better though.

God Bless!

 

[tom.wineman]

What ever happened to the term conceit ?

 

[birdsofdawn]

whew, what a thread! I used to really struggle with this myself. i would read the gospels, notably where Jesus will say that the humble receive grace and the proud will not receive the kingdom, so I sort of developped this really awful way of thinking where if I got too happy or felt too good about myself, I would “keep myself down”. after all, that would be what God wants, right, I thought? So I would tear myself down in order to remind myself that I am unworthy of God, and so forth.
which was totally messed up!
my error was equating self-esteem with PRIDE.
i agree that the greatest is when the focus is on God, not us. true self esteem (or whatever we’d like to call it) does not have to do with our accomplishments, but it comes from the knowledge that we are made in the image of God, shaped and knitted by His hands, that He loves us, and has a plan & hope for us–He wants to use us to serve him!

So as much as possible, yes, it’s really the best and most beautiful to just be able to forget ourselves, but I do want to clarify for the sake of anybody reading who is also likely to fall victim to this spiritual myth—humility is not the same thing as self-hate. sin-hate is great, but remember, God designed us wonderfully. His creation is good. tearing yourself down only makes you focus more on yourself.

bonne journée