P
PrayerGal
Guest
I could really use your prayers and insight right now concerning an estranged parent.
Each year especially around the holidays I struggle with unforgiveness towards my Father. It’s very hard because he was my best friend up until I was about 19…and then he left our family.
I’m now in my 30s and one would think that over time this wound would heal but estrangement feels like a knife in the heart because the person has not passed but is alive on earth and chooses not to be a part of one’s life. I personally have struggled with anxiety and depression because of this.
Quite recently there was contact made and I overstepped my boundaries by including myself in the details with things concerning my parents. I was also told that the reason my parent didn’t call me is that I stress him out and it affects his health. Really? My reasoning for reaching out to him was to help my mother with some of his belongings. Long story longer…I decided to tell him not to go through other people for his own affairs when communicating as he can talk to me directly and I told him he needs to take responsibility for his own actions thoughts and words. Please understand that for many years I blamed myself for his leaving…I think many children of divorced parents subconsciously do this too. But this time I decided to show him that I deserve to be loved in the way Christ wants his daughter to be loved. I also told him that I need to know by the end of the year whether he will be an active person in my life.
Ultimately I don’t know if this was the right thing to do…but more than anything I just need prayers and lots of compassion. It’s a very difficult time of year because my Father walked out the day after Christmas. I just need healthy boundaries in my life and I think about what the future would hold if I were married and had children. I do not want a come and go grandparent let alone a parent like this.
Each year especially around the holidays I struggle with unforgiveness towards my Father. It’s very hard because he was my best friend up until I was about 19…and then he left our family.
I’m now in my 30s and one would think that over time this wound would heal but estrangement feels like a knife in the heart because the person has not passed but is alive on earth and chooses not to be a part of one’s life. I personally have struggled with anxiety and depression because of this.
Quite recently there was contact made and I overstepped my boundaries by including myself in the details with things concerning my parents. I was also told that the reason my parent didn’t call me is that I stress him out and it affects his health. Really? My reasoning for reaching out to him was to help my mother with some of his belongings. Long story longer…I decided to tell him not to go through other people for his own affairs when communicating as he can talk to me directly and I told him he needs to take responsibility for his own actions thoughts and words. Please understand that for many years I blamed myself for his leaving…I think many children of divorced parents subconsciously do this too. But this time I decided to show him that I deserve to be loved in the way Christ wants his daughter to be loved. I also told him that I need to know by the end of the year whether he will be an active person in my life.
Ultimately I don’t know if this was the right thing to do…but more than anything I just need prayers and lots of compassion. It’s a very difficult time of year because my Father walked out the day after Christmas. I just need healthy boundaries in my life and I think about what the future would hold if I were married and had children. I do not want a come and go grandparent let alone a parent like this.