Holiday Work Parties

[EasterJoy]

If you don’t want to use up a personal day in order to stay home for half a day, you have to go. Being forced to socialize with your rude co-workers does not constitute cruel and unusual working conditions, sorry.

Having said that, maybe you could go to someone at HR and ask them how to avoid the situations you’ve had to deal with in the past. “I like my job, don’t get me wrong, and as long as we have work to do, things are fine with my co-workers, but this party has been the most hostile working condition I have to face all year long. I really dread it. Can you find some way to get me away from this? It is just the one day that is the problem. Can you help me out?” Maybe they can arrange to give you some job at the event that will prevent you from sitting with everyone else you usually have to sit with.

 

[Irishmom2]

I don’t understand. The people that you say are gossiping are the same ones you work with every day. Are you saying they only gossip once a year at the party? If they are gossiping and you don’t want to hear it, just excuse yourself and go talk to someone else. Or just ask a question to change the subject.

This is not middle school even if people act like it us. You are being paid on a work day to not have to do work, but to socialize. Try and make it work. It is a job, it’s not about you.

 

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

If everyone else’s attitude is the same as yours, then it’s little wonder that it is a miserable place to work. Why can’t you simply be friendly and cordial and forgo judging everyone else for a day?

Perhaps she has annoying coworkers she doesn’t like?

Granted, I’d probably go and discuss politics and religion the entire time, so at least I’d enjoy it. But lots of people don’t feel like going to parties for work, or doing things with coworkers.

Unless they are close friends, or family members, why would I care? Like I said, I used to go when it was during work hours, but deep down, I know I have little in common with these people, and neither of us care that much about the other people. It’s work. Any place they have to pay me to attend can’t be that special to me.

Like I said though, I’ll do anything they pay me to. my title may say Principle Systems Engineer, but if they want to pay me the same amount to go to their Christmas Party, or was the floors in the lobby, its fine by me. I’d just go and offer up any frustration for the poor souls in purgatory. Or for me

 

[on_the_hill]

That is what I was hoping ! Let me set the tone , everyone meets at a restaurant , we sit down order , we eat , hear a speech , and pretend we all get along and like each other and leave! I am not complaining just want to know if anyone knew if it was legal , even if anyone has a link I can look into !

You just described 90% of work parties.

Our office quit doing them over a period of a few years because everyone pretty much felt like you do, and eventually there was enough momentum to drop the idea altogether.

After I became the boss, we needed to do something to boost morale–so what did we decide to do? We had an Christmas office party at lunch!

BUT–we didn’t go out to any restaurants. We organized it as a simple potluck in the conference room. Just bring something to share and sit down and relax for an hour. The office manager decorated the room. (we have 12 employees) It was the most rewarding moment we’d had in ages.

 

[persevere71]

This certainly sounds like far more complaining than necessary. It is a once a year event; you can’t suck it up for just half a day and try to be personable? God forbid you encounter other things in life in which you don’t wish to participate.

you don’t know me or my life and what I have had struggles with so get off my post and be rude to someone else !

 

[Tim_D]

you don’t know me or my life and what I have had struggles with so get off my post and be rude to someone else !

I think that this post speaks volumes.

I wonder if your sentiments are reciprocated by your co-workers…

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I personally don’t think you should be made attend something you don’t want to. So are they saying if you were sick or had a wedding that day and you couldn’t attend you STILL wouldn’t be payed! I think it’s a joke and you shouldn’t be forced to attend.

Does that count for actual work? Very few people WANT to attend thier job!

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

you don’t know me or my life and what I have had struggles with so get off my post and be rude to someone else !

On second thought. Perhaps that day would be a good day to call in sick and hit the slopes.

 

[Viki63]

Just FYI, they did the same thing at my work. We got the afternoon off to attend the Annual Picnic, and got paid for it IF we attended. The food was good and it was outside so it was pleasant. Some people just went home and didn’t choose to get paid.

.

 

[Listener]

My advice would be to go. I can sympathize with your problem. Sometimes it can be very difficult to make small talk with your co-workers. You can always psych yourself up by telling yourself, “Isn’t it nice that someone is providing me with free food and actually paying me to eat?!!”

Think of some topics of conversation in advance. If they start gossiping, try to change the subject. If it gets too bad, you can always excuse yourself and go to the restroom.

 

[SuperHappy]

Who knows if it is legal or not? That would be for the labor board to decide.

My advice is to go to the lunch and be happy that the management is paying you to have a nice meal. Listen politely and keep conversations light and breezy. Talk about the food or the decorations or how good the speaker is this year, anything that has nothing to do with gossip or backstabbing. Even if you don’t enjoy the company of your co-workers, it is better for you to be a team player and be seen as pro-company in my opinion.

Send up a little prayer ahead of time that things will be smooth.

Also, as a small sidebar, I too had the problem of co-workers talking ugly about others and gossiping, I simply told them as soon as they started up “I don’t like to talk about people.” or “I don’t like to speculate about people.” After a couple statements like that, people get the picture. Most will not argue or disrespect you if you can state your opinion in a matter of fact kind of way.

 

[AnnArbor]

I’m a little confused – is this event during a normal work day, or is it during time that would normally be personal time? If it’s the former, then yes, you should go. Just like you go to work every day.

If it’s during normal personal time, you could tell them you need to be home for your children. Although honestly, it doesn’t seem as if being a team player once a year should be that difficult. If it is, and you really dislike these people that much, perhaps you should look for a different job.

 

[SuperHappy]

I’m a little confused – is this event during a normal work day, or is it during time that would normally be personal time? If it’s the former, then yes, you should go. Just like you go to work every day.

If it’s during normal personal time, you could tell them you need to be home for your children. Although honestly, it doesn’t seem as if being a team player once a year should be that difficult. If it is, and you really dislike these people that much, perhaps you should look for a different job.

Ahhh, I assumed it was an event that was happening on company time.

I concur that if the job is that distressing to the OP, it may be time to seek employment elsewhere or ask human resources for advice.

 

[ShrodingersCat]

I live in CA , and I don’t want to attend our Annual Christmas Party. I don’t care to associate myself with most of my coworkers outside of work. They gossip , talk about people and it’s just not something I want to deal with. I was told I “HAD” to go because they are paying me the whole day and letting us leave at 12.

Is that legal ? Does anyone know? I couldn’t find anything on it!

No I don’t think they can force you but you are better off not declaring your intentions beforehand and just not showing up