Homecoming and Purity

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coolcatholicguy said:
I may ask her to be my girlfriend sometime at the dance if all goes well, so at some point we technically could be considered dating.
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I caution you to keep your hormones in check. From what you’ve posted, you strike me as one to try to get away with as much as you can. That will get you in trouble - big trouble.

Jump in the cold shower and cool your jets.

At 15, you are too young to have a girlfriend. You can date, yes, but don’t have a “steady exclusive” relationship. There is no point to that at your age, unless you plan to be married by age 17.
 
coolcatholicguy said:
I really like the girl that I am going to homecoming with. This is one of the first times in my 15 year old life that I am actually tempted to realistically have sex with someone. Also, my friends, although mostly jokingly, or at least half jokingly, were talking about doing the same with their dates. I know that having pre-marital sex is against Catholic teaching, but what can I do as far as slow dancing, kissing, etc. Any advice on purity?

Thanks, also I go to a Catholic, Jesuit high school.
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At 15, you should be concentrating on your education and channeling all that energy into sports, school projects and other such activities. Why are even you thinking of sex at this age? Your friends may talk about it but that does not mean you have to do it. It’s also disrespectful to speak about their dates in this manner.

I am not saying you should not have fun at homecoming but do not rush into growing up with the responsibilities that come with. Treat your date with respect. You know yourself. So make sure your dancing and kissing does not go so far as to make you lose your self control. I am sure the chaperones will keep you all in line.

Isn’t this something you should go to your parents for advice.

God bless.
 
coolcatholicguy said:
I really like the girl that I am going to homecoming with. This is one of the first times in my 15 year old life that I am actually tempted to realistically have sex with someone. Also, my friends, although mostly jokingly, or at least half jokingly, were talking about doing the same with their dates. I know that having pre-marital sex is against Catholic teaching, but what can I do as far as slow dancing, kissing, etc. Any advice on purity?

Thanks, also I go to a Catholic, Jesuit high school.
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Hi there cool-NOT VERY CATHOLIC-guy,
if I were your girlfriends Father I would have you singing Castrato for the rest of your life.
 
severus68 said:
Why are even you thinking of sex at this age?
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What? Have you ever been a 15 year old boy??

Good heavens people, if he didn’t want to do the right thing he wouldn’t have asked what it was. Give the guy a break. You don’t know how rare a teen of his disposition is.

So tell him what is acceptable and what is not, but keep your miserliness to yourself.
 
Equites_Christi said:
What? Have you ever been a 15 year old boy??

Good heavens people, if he didn’t want to do the right thing he wouldn’t have asked what it was. Give the guy a break. You don’t know how rare a teen of his disposition is.

So tell him what is acceptable and what is not, but keep your miserliness to yourself.
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Hello Equites Christi,
it’s not this young guy’s hormones that shock me ( we’ve all been their ) it’s his total disrespect for a young woman. This young guy is sharing information not only about his own sex life but that of his girlfriend with his friends ( comparing notes as it were ).The thought of this young girl doing her hair and make up and putting on a nice dress and her Mother telling her to be careful. Only to end up in the arms of a boy who’s only interest is his own sexual gratification is really disturbing to me ( yes I am a father ). What is more can you imagine the stories he would share of his sexual conquest with his friends!
If you are reading this coolcatholicguy go to a Chastity class. They are available in many churches nowadays in all denominations. If you are dating this girl bring her to the class as well.Can I also suggest that you read John Paul II’s “theology of the body.”
Please,please,please keep it in your pants!!!
 
Before I say anything else I feel I have to let you know I’m new here (3 days) and new to catholic beliefs (none of my friends or family are Christians so I am working it out myself on here reading the bible etc) and I have sexually sinned and lived a sinful life which I deeply regret.

Firstly I would say NEVER talk about these sort of things with your friends it is compleatly disrespectful to her that you would even consider talking about her in that way and this is something even I have never done (I do have a few morals) if your friends start talking this way tell them you don’t want to know, that it is compleatly disrespectful to who they are discussing and then leave. Trust me eventually they will get the message that you don’t condone or want to hear this.

Secondly with kissing a peck on the lips at the very most and ONLY if you are dating her (I also never kissed outside of a relationship) or preferably if you have been dating for a while first. Stay well away from French kissing (kissing with tongues) as this will definately increase temptation and is, to me, very intimate hence why that is now one of the things I am abstaining from until marriage.

Lastly always treat your date with respect listen to her and to her thoughts feelings on physical nonsexual contact ie kissing, holding hands etc but don’t just listen to her words learn to read between to lines for example yes mean yes no means no and maybe or I’m not sure or something like this means no but I don’t want to upset you so don’t do it. Basically if in doubt… don’t do it. If it is not an enthusiastic yes… Don’t do it. If you don’t have it… Don’t touch it. If you wouldn’t do it in front of her father then… You’ve guessed it… Just don’t do it. Please please wait until you are married or, like me, you will regret it for the rest of your life and I know its hard when your young, I’m 22, but think of the future you wish to have, do you want children before you are married? Trust me children are hard work and I should know I have been a step-dad since I was 19, and now I am single I am concetrating on finding god, leading a chaste life until I am married and having a more moral and Christian life something you have got a chance to live your whole life like with no regrets.
Thanks for taking the time to read this -Aaron
 
If she’s not your girlfriend you really don’t have any business “making out” with her at all… Actually even if she is you shouldn’t be unless you’re planning to get married. Second, shouldn’t there be a couple priests pulling couples apart? Hahaha, I’ve never been at a Catholic dance where you could get with anything… xD
Good luck and God bless you. Stay pure.
 
I went to a few dances in high school but was never tempted as I went as part of a group not exclusively with a boy. Even as a teen, I knew better not to be tempted to do anything immoral as I knew my parents’ punishments would be far worse than the guilt I would have felt. Even as a single adult, I do my best to remain chaste in the few chances I’ve had to date.

You are young. No need to rush into sex because your peers are doing so. Concentrate instead on school work, school activities, and church related things (Mass, catechism classes, youth ministry, etc) for now. You are a child/teen for a short time, and an adult for much longer part of your life.
 
Equites_Christi said:
What? Have you ever been a 15 year old boy??

Good heavens people, if he didn’t want to do the right thing he wouldn’t have asked what it was. Give the guy a break. You don’t know how rare a teen of his disposition is.

So tell him what is acceptable and what is not, but keep your miserliness to yourself.
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What is this about? My miserliness? Do you even know what you are saying?
So just because he is a teenager with all those hormones, we should tell him its ok at 15 to think about having sex and for him and his friends to talk about their dates in this way?

Surely, if he could ask how far he should go in a public forum, he could speak to his parents about this?
 
MissRose73 said:
I went to a few dances in high school but was never tempted as I went as part of a group not exclusively with a boy. Even as a teen, I knew better not to be tempted to do anything immoral as I knew my parents’ punishments would be far worse than the guilt I would have felt. Even as a single adult, I do my best to remain chaste in the few chances I’ve had to date.

You are young. No need to rush into sex because your peers are doing so. Concentrate instead on school work, school activities, and church related things (Mass, catechism classes, youth ministry, etc) for now. You are a child/teen for a short time, and an adult for much longer part of your life.
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👍
 
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