Homeless man situation - am I wrong?

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strita

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For a couple years I have regularly given money to an apparently homeless man. He is unkempt and sleeps on public benches. He generally hangs around the Salvation Army building which itself is a short walk from the local homeless shelter.

He has a smoking habit and has even sent me off (in my car) to buy smokes for him. But, my finances have changed unfavorably and I feel that I cannot continue my financial support. I feel as if I’m doing him a favor to reduce the amount of smoking that he does.

Am I in the wrong somehow for stopping aid to this man? I have never felt like I had a contract with him to provide him assistance, nor did I ever feel I could give him all the support he needs.
 
  1. Your own circumstances have changed and that’s beyond your control.
  2. As much as a smoke may be a comfort, it is not essential and there are other priorities, food, water, clothes spring to mind (and I say that as a smoker)
  3. I get the feeling he may be taking advantage of your good nature - maybe offer to help in other ways (e.g. offering some food, contacting associations which can help, etc.)
 
Well for starters, why have you went and bought him cigs before?

I won’t give the homeless money or buy them anything that is not needed.

I will give out gift cards and offer to buy them a meal.

IF you can’t afford that anymore then you are under no obligation.

And most downtown areas have plenty of ways for the homeless to get food. Most of them are too lazy or in it for other reasons
 
i would not support a smoking habit. Give him info about charities that can help him, and pray for him.
 
The problem with giving money to homeless people is that it makes us feel better about ourselves while actually hurting them. The blunt truth is that many of them are addicted to drugs or mentally ill and can’t handle money or worse, buy drugs, cigarettes, alcohol and other damaging substances. I get it, we all want to help others-but your money would be much better spent if you donated it to a local charity dealing with the homeless rather than to homeless people themselves.
 
OKComputer said:
The problem with giving money to homeless people is that it makes us feel better about ourselves while actually hurting them. The blunt truth is that many of them are addicted to drugs or mentally ill and can’t handle money or worse, buy drugs, cigarettes, alcohol and other damaging substances. I get it, we all want to help others-but your money would be much better spent if you donated it to a local charity dealing with the homeless rather than to homeless people themselves.
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The largest growing homeless group is middle aged woman. They are not mentally ill or drug addicted. It is a sad statement on society in my country.
 
You could still speak to him when you see him, call him by his name if you know it, treat him like a human being. That means more than money.
 
It is a tough situation and very difficult to know the best thing to do. If smokes keep him from drugs or alcohol it may be a good thing. I take each situation as it comes and try to listen to the Holy Spirit as to what to do.

A couple things to keep in mind. I have been told by experts that you should not give money to beggars in a downtown area. Because there is enough beds, food etc available it they only agree to stay off alcohol an drugs. So giving them money only supports their addiction when if they got hungry enough they may make a better choice.

At an AA meeting recently that I was auditing, they said your have to let alcoholics hit bottom so don’t try to ease their pain!

Also, true story, I have an aunt who was approached after a weekday mass. She told him she had some yard work for him. He came and did the work. But kept coming back and eventually broke into the house raped and murdered my aunt and my uncle who tried to help her, brother and sister, both elderly!

So be careful! There is no one right answer in all cases!
 
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