Honestly, are some personality flaws worse than others?

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PelagiathePenit

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I am relating this too sin. God created us uniquely. For some it is easier to love. For others it is difficult. It seems like each of us “need” God for various reasons. Some people are more dependent on God, while others could lead a perfect life on Earth without him. There is this whole thing about being judgmental and how Jesus was the harshest on those who acted that way. Isn’t being judgmental another flaw? Or is it worse? I know Christians are stereotyped for being judgmental. To be fair, there are Christians who honestly are very judgmental. Is this the worse possible personality flaw? I know God gives us free-will. Part of me honestly believes for whatever reason certain people have stronger tendencies in areas naturally. For example, me I could never steal for some reason. I am not saying I am so righteous. Personally, that is not a sin I can commit. I have others I can commit without much guilt.
 
PelagiathePenit said:
I am relating this too sin. God created us uniquely. For some it is easier to love. For others it is difficult. It seems like each of us “need” God for various reasons. Some people are more dependent on God, while others could lead a perfect life on Earth without him. There is this whole thing about being judgmental and how Jesus was the harshest on those who acted that way. Isn’t being judgmental another flaw? Or is it worse? I know Christians are stereotyped for being judgmental. To be fair, there are Christians who honestly are very judgmental. Is this the worse possible personality flaw? I know God gives us free-will. Part of me honestly believes for whatever reason certain people have stronger tendencies in areas naturally. For example, me I could never steal for some reason. I am not saying I am so righteous. Personally, that is not a sin I can commit. I have others I can commit without much guilt.
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I think I understand. I am like you. All my life I have never been tempted to steal. It is not a virtue as it is just not in me somehow. Yet I am beset in other areas which I consider a greater betrayal of my duty to God. I don’t have any answer, but I can agree that there are some people who seem to be naturally nicer in their personalities without trying, whilst others naturally grate you up the wrong way in being small-mindedly mean for example.
God must make us different but I cannot see how it would be fair to create some more prone to evil than others. I will be interested in what others think.
 
Personality is given, in our society, an importance it really doesn’t have.

Personality is simply the publicly expressed surface of our minds. It is what is below that surface that matters most, IMNAAHO.

The problem with being judgemental is not that it is a personality flaw, or that it is off putting to others; but that it stems, at root, from a lack of recognition that we are nothing but sinners. Therein lies the difficulty.

ICXC NIKA
 
As Jesus is quoted as saying in the Gospels: “from those to whom more is given, more will be required.” God knows the nature of each individual, the particular graces each has been given." Consequently, only God can subjectively judge an individual. However, we as Christians can judge objective right and wrong. God has made this known to us through Scripture, Tradition, and the Magisterium (Teaching Office) of the Church.
 
I don’t think viewing personality flaws as greater than others is what we should concern ourselves with. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. It is through these that God works with us and through us, and that we learn to grow and become better Christians.

Sin is sin. You mention stealing as something you could never do. This is indeed a gift from God. I too could never steal and according to many friends and relatives I can’t tell lies. (If they try to get me to tell a white lie for a surprise party for someone I turn red, stutter and almost hyperventilate.) So God has given me a gift in that regard.

These gifts I think are reminders to us that we can do nothing good outside of God. We can even think we are doing good and by all outside appearances what we are doing seems good, but we can be wrong about that. This is why prayer and reflection are so important when considering careers, marriage or religious life for example.

Through our weaknesses we should learn compassion and gain the ability to be less judgmental of others. Our strengths should be viewed as something that we can help others with and not something that makes us better than the other person. I just think we are all unique and those different qualities is what makes life interesting and helps keep us mindful of God.
 
PelagiathePenit said:
I am relating this too sin. God created us uniquely. For some it is easier to love. For others it is difficult. It seems like each of us “need” God for various reasons. Some people are more dependent on God, while others could lead a perfect life on Earth without him. There is this whole thing about being judgmental and how Jesus was the harshest on those who acted that way. Isn’t being judgmental another flaw? Or is it worse? I know Christians are stereotyped for being judgmental. To be fair, there are Christians who honestly are very judgmental. Is this the worse possible personality flaw? I know God gives us free-will. Part of me honestly believes for whatever reason certain people have stronger tendencies in areas naturally. For example, me I could never steal for some reason. I am not saying I am so righteous. Personally, that is not a sin I can commit. I have others I can commit without much guilt.
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There’s a singular personality flaw we all share-the granddaddy of them all, which can be summed up with words such as ego-centrism, self-righteousness, pride, narcissism, etc. And from these flow “sub-flaws” such as judgmentalism, theft, adultery, jealousy, etc. Because a person perceiving themselves to be in the right can justify any and all behavior. The position of righteousness, which is only God’s rightful territory, can be a very dangerous orientation when in man’s control-and it’s been in our control ever since the Fall. We never have too much humility.
 
I believe that some personality flaws can be expressed and seen more than others. I had a friend that everyone saw as an angel yet inside she said she was seething. As her adult years went by, she acted out her rage in very dangerous ways but no one knew except two friends that she eventually dropped, probably due to the shame she felt around us.

The question of proportion: “is this sin greater than another?” seems less important than interconnectedness: “how does my little sinful action set bad examples and perhaps lead to another’s more frightening downfall or harm?”
 
PelagiathePenit said:
I am relating this too sin. God created us uniquely. For some it is easier to love. For others it is difficult. It seems like each of us “need” God for various reasons. Some people are more dependent on God, while others could lead a perfect life on Earth without him. There is this whole thing about being judgmental and how Jesus was the harshest on those who acted that way. Isn’t being judgmental another flaw? Or is it worse? I know Christians are stereotyped for being judgmental. To be fair, there are Christians who honestly are very judgmental. Is this the worse possible personality flaw? I know God gives us free-will. Part of me honestly believes for whatever reason certain people have stronger tendencies in areas naturally. For example, me I could never steal for some reason. I am not saying I am so righteous. Personally, that is not a sin I can commit. I have others I can commit without much guilt.
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It is dangerous and a mistake to think that any person can lead a perfect life on Earth without Him. Sin is sin. There is this prayer that says, “Oh, my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell and lead all souls to heaven, especially those who are in most need of God’s mercy.” I can never complete this prayer, but stop at …lead all souls to heaven. There is nobody who is more in need of God’s mercy than anyone else. We are all equally in need of God’s mercy. You say Christians are stereotyped for being judgmental. This is because we rightly judge behavior. It is popular these days to “live and let live.” There is much relativism in today’s world. People want to justify their actions by promoting the idea that behavior is not bad/wrong/immoral - just different. They do what’s “right for them.” In reality, there is an objective right and a wrong. We are called to judge behavior. Be grateful if you judge. Just don’t judge someone else’s eternal soul. Be loving and kind to all, knowing that you, too, are in need of God’s mercy.
 
“while others could lead a perfect life on earth without Him” (God).

That previous quote is really an assumption, an erroneous assumption at that. I might amend it to say "while others MAY APPEAR to lead a perfect life on earth without HIM.

Because, if you believe in God, how could you imagine a life could be perfect without Him?

Perhaps there are further words necessary to explain the initial idea? “Without mention of Him”? “Without leading a life fully immersed in a monotheistic religion”?

“a perfect life”? Or a somewhat even life? A relatively peaceful life? For how long?

I smirk when I hear John Lennon’s “Imagine” at the “no religions, too” lyric. I think it is the solid, thick, monotheistic religions that save us; lack of religion might be typified by Stalin, Mao, and Hitler, the biggest mass murderers of all time. Don’t get me started.
 
Yeah, “Imagine there’s no heaven… and no religion, too.” I guess John doesn’t think there’s anything worth fighting and dying for. Thankfully for us, Jesus didn’t think likewise. I, too, think folks have a warped sense of what is cool or what makes them really free. Like false “feminism”. True feminism wants what is right and good for women and respects her natural role in God’s universe. Today’s political correctness insists that everything that is not pleasurable or convenient or financially productive, is dispensable. I try not to judge John Lennon, but, pray that he saw the light in the moments when he met his creator. But, I digress. It’s hard to correct someone in charity. It mostly comes off judgmental anyway. It’s especially hard these days with so many, Catholics even, watching Joel’s prosperity gospel preached to the masses. Not a mention of our obligations as Christians to do the will of God. Just that something good is going to happen in your life. Not doing God’s will out of love for Him. We cannot be concerned with someone else thinking we’re judgmental. People living in the dark need to make a lot of noise to distract from the truth. When you seek truth, you find Him who is Truth. I could go on and on.
 
PelagiathePenit said:
I am relating this too sin. God created us uniquely. For some it is easier to love. For others it is difficult. It seems like each of us “need” God for various reasons. Some people are more dependent on God, while others could lead a perfect life on Earth without him. There is this whole thing about being judgmental and how Jesus was the harshest on those who acted that way. Isn’t being judgmental another flaw? Or is it worse? I know Christians are stereotyped for being judgmental. To be fair, there are Christians who honestly are very judgmental. Is this the worse possible personality flaw? I know God gives us free-will. Part of me honestly believes for whatever reason certain people have stronger tendencies in areas naturally. For example, me I could never steal for some reason. I am not saying I am so righteous. Personally, that is not a sin I can commit. I have others I can commit without much guilt.
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God is more merciful to some than others. God loves some more than others. Remember the parable of the talents. There will be an accounting.

And no one can live a perfect life without God. Those who reject our Lord will be damned.
 
The “accounting” in the parable of the talents is the fair judgment that will come to each of us. God is fair and gives us what we deserve, through our own choice, but loves each of us unconditionally. We have our free will To whom much is given, much will be expected. We have the benefit of the Scriptures to give us hindsight so that we can make the right choices. The destiny of the individuals in the parable, though they are different, is not a reflection of God’s love for us, rather, His response to our choices.
 
There are definitely differences between major and minor personality flaws. A boring person is a minor flaw. A loudmouth is a major flaw. The first you can escape at your leisure; the second you cannot escape fast enough. 😉
 
There are mortal sins and venial sins. The mortal ones are pretty damaging but, as I understand it, we need to watch out for the venial sins because they can lead us to the greater-damage mortal sins. Same with flaws: the little ones can lead to the bigger ones and the results will be farther reaching.
 
Character flaws, like having a tendency to be a loud-mouthed person, are part of our fallen nature and are different from committing a personal sin. If we decide to not exhibit self control, for instance, and we engage in gossip, therein lies the problem since to damage another’s reputation whether true or untrue, is a personal sin. Of course, you could run into a situation where you must share information for the safety of others. But then, that’s not gossip. You can have a rotten personality and be boring without committing personal sin. It’s no sin to have a rotten personality.
 
cartridgeworld said:
You can have a rotten personality and be boring without committing personal sin. It’s no sin to have a rotten personality.
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Sin and personality flaws are two different things.

A boring person simply has not acquired the habit of being interesting to others.

A loudmouth has acquired the habit of being overly interested in impressing others.

These are personality flaws, not sins. 🤷

But some personality flaws are more obnoxious than others.
 
Charlemagne_III said:
Sin and personality flaws are two different things.

A boring person simply has not acquired the habit of being interesting to others.

A loudmouth has acquired the habit of being overly interested in impressing others.

These are personality flaws, not sins. 🤷

But some personality flaws are more obnoxious than others.
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Exactly what I’m saying.
 
When we were baptized and confirmed, the Holy Spirit was given to us by the Church (as God’s instrument of bestowing) and we were permeated in our souls with the Virtues, the Habits of Faith, Hope, Charity, etc., and filled with this Spirit with His Gifts. These Virtues were given to make us “Good” and to make our works “Good” as we will to do God’s Will, as we love His Will and want to make it real and actual in the world.

So, whatever our personality flaws (I have at least as many as everyone who has posted here) when we understand we are subjects of our Lord (you cannot have a Lord unless you are his obedient subject, carrying out his wishes throughout the day; otherwise the term “lord” is a misnomer), and when we then hear his directions to act, we have the Gifts of the Virtues (as Habits infused) and we will know how to do his directions.

I do not fear that some may have more flaws than others or that I have more flaws than anyone, because he says to me, “My Grace is sufficient for you”, meaning, “I have given you the Holy Spirit with the Virtues from Him filling your soul, and so, I am confident that when I ask you to go there or come here or do this or do that, that you will know how to do these things very acceptably to me.”

While we are questioning our thorns in the flesh, Jesus may be asking us to come to Mass or pray the hours, or help a person with not enough money at a cash register. Jesus is not asking us to fix our thorns, he is asking us to do other things, and he is our Lord. Our personal self-questioning is not our Lord.

John Martin
 
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