Honoring our Parents

[river444]

Given the following scenarios how can adults still honor their parents:1) Parents have divorced. Father remarried and is seeking an annulment.Mother is involved in an lesbian relationship.

1. Father an alcoholic,neglected to pay property taxes so family lost home. It does really bother him that his family will get kicked out of the place they are staying. He wants his children out of his life if their mother dies before he does.
2. Mother has left the Church.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Adults honor their parents because they are commanded to, not because the parents “earn” it.

They are parents who gave us life. Granted, maybe that’s not what their primary concern was at the moment they did, but they at least did not kill us.

Let us not grow to judge our parents lest our own children judge us for our failings as parents and as human beings.

Remember Christ insisted on washing Peter’s feet, so it isn’t about whether we behave honorably toward those who are better than or worse than us.

Alan

 

[river444]

How does one have a relationship with their parent in scenerios #1 & #2?

 

[KCT]

river444:

How does one have a relationship with their parent in scenerios #1 & #2?

Send birthday cards, call once in a while. I don’t think you’re obliged to invite them to your home, if you don’t feel comfortable doing so.
—KCT

 

[AlanFromWichita]

KCT:

Send birthday cards, call once in a while. I don’t think you’re obliged to invite them to your home, if you don’t feel comfortable doing so.
—KCT

Agree. One way to honor them, I suppose, might be to leave them alone if they wish to be left alone.

That’s not what we’d like to think, but what else could it mean?

Alan

 

[x4us]

This is very tough - treat them w/ patience and respect when you are w/ them - and realize that it is perfectly ok to set boundaries you are comportable with. Those boundaries may include not seeing them very often - but when you are with them, ask the Lord to give you the grace to treat them as Christ would have you treat them. God Bless.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Also if one has no relationship with his/her own parents, I think it might pay to examine how that plays out in our own life actions, outlooks, hopes and dreams, and what can be done to ameliorate the problem.

As things go, I had a pretty close relationship with my own parents and had no particular trouble honoring them (except for a while during teenage years I suppose) and certainly not because of their immorality.

To me, if I didn’t have that relationship, then I would not have that as a reference point for other relationships, and I wonder how much that would factor into my day-to-day life. Clearly it can’t be good to go around and be constantly aware of this, but how to get on with one’s life, retain respect but good distance to the parents and be “normal” other than that, sounds like it could be a bit trickier.

Alan

 

[turboEDvo]

river444:

Given the following scenarios how can adults still honor their parents:

Give them the respect and dignity they deserve as human beings. Don’t belittle them. Maybe try to change their views if you feel so inclined, but do it respectfully.

Eamon

 

[AlanFromWichita]

turboEDvo:

Give them the respect and dignity they deserve as human beings. Don’t belittle them. Maybe try to change their views if you feel so inclined, but do it respectfully.

Eamon

Ditto. Trying may be a long shot, and doing it requires finesse to come across right.

Alan

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

Remember there is a difference from honoring someone and approving of all of their actions.

 

[Michelle_in_KC]

AlanFromWichita:

Let us not grow to judge our parents lest our own children judge us for our failings as parents and as human beings.

This was really driven home to me as I have had my own children. I have worked on my ability to deal with my mother because I think that my children will follow the example I set for them and if they see me behave badly toward my mother, they will think it is ok to behave badly toward me. I wish everyone in my family would learn that because I hate to find out how hurt my mother is by some of my siblings attitudes towards her.